How to help a kid who isn't good at sports

[Anonymous]

Instead of rec sports or camp sports, you can also have your child try the one hour a week classes, like with community centers. I'm going to have my son start these, who is also unathletic. There aren't games with parents watching in these, and it will give him a chance to try it out.

I found that the kids in our neighborhood play with a ball and a hoop ,bu t no one cares whether the others are good or bad or able to make shots. Isn't there a different group of boys your son could play with? Or try to teach your son to not care if he doesn't get the ball in the hoop, just trying is enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, he can do all those things. But if you put him with a group of kids playing, he looks out of sync! He has no aggressive instinct and just sort of misses the quick reflex thing…

My 8 year old DS is the same. Looking forward to responses... My son is starting to feel self conscious and removes himself which makes me sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, he can do all those things. But if you put him with a group of kids playing, he looks out of sync! He has no aggressive instinct and just sort of misses the quick reflex thing…

My 8 year old DS is the same. Looking forward to responses... My son is starting to feel self conscious and removes himself which makes me sad.

My DD is the same - great at drills bad at games. There is more anxiety and pressure to perform at a game - lots of people watching, etc.

[Anonymous]

My DS7 is not "good" at traditional sports (soccer, basketball, etc). We put him in Taekwondo to build confidence and help him "think on his feet" (sparring). Swimming is a good individual sport that we insist upon for safety and fitness.

Because your son is unhappy, I like the other suggestions of a rec facility/ class just to build some skills. Seriously, consider Taekwondo- I have seen it make a huge difference for so many kids. Eventually, your son could go to tournaments and compete.

[Anonymous]

My son is in Kempo karate... I highly suggest that

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for all the suggestions. DS is in taek won do, and is doing well in that. It does not seem to translate to better reaction time in team sports. PPs have a good point that his under confidence may be playing a role too. He does hang with the kids who don't play sports well but its not a big group. I think he wants to be in. I also think PPs are right that its hard for him to not be at least average in sports as he is used to being advanced in the academic sphere. Perhaps its good character building in that sense!

[Anonymous]

Sports for boys is a very social activity. So the focus really should be on that part of it. Nobody is going pro. Seriously- find a low skill rec league and sign him up. Be honest about his skill level and what your goals are when calling/looking around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is 10, an excellent student, and terrible at sports. He cannot or does not feel that he can join the gang of sporty boys in his grade who hang together at recess playing soccer and such. One or two of the kids sneer at him for not being good at sports. He puts up defenses against this that aren't the best but most importantly just feels lousy about how the sports affects his standing in the social ladder. How can we practically help? We don't care about it at all but he lives in a world where it does seem to matter. Being a bit of an academic superstar does not seem to be at all helpful. Its not how one gains position in the world of 10-11 year old boys. I hate thinking like this!

You have described my 8 yr old DS to a T. He wants to join the other kids playing soccer during recess but some of the kids make comments about his lack of ability in not so nice ways and don't want him to play. I feel so bad for him, but I don't show it or baby him about it.

Instead, we've tried to help him come up with ways to respond like "well, I can't get better if I don't practice or play". The other thing we've done, as other PPs have stated, is put him in fun Rec Center teams, after school games through MSA or such. We haven't done an actual league, partly because DS is not interested enough to be in a league, maybe it's because he feels he is not good enough, I don't know. Another thing I thought of, but haven't had a chance to do yet, is hire an older kid who is good at the sport to give my DS some lessons. I would pay the teen by the hour or something.

I also stress to DS that some kids are good in sports, others in academics, and others in music. I stress DS's abilities, but encourage him to keep trying the sport.

DS is not very good in most sports. In one of the Rec Center team, another kid made rude comments to DS about his lack of ability. DS was very discouraged and wanted to quit. We convinced DS to not give up. We don't want DS to give up whenever he is discouraged or something is too hard. We told him that there will always be someone who tries to bring him down. If you are having fun, keep trying, keep going, don't give up. On the rare occasion DS makes a goal, the smile on his face is priceless. He (and we) feels so proud of himself.

[Anonymous]

I don't have fond memories of recess during elementary school myself. All the guys played basketball and that was NOT my sport. I remember getting teased a bit and counting the minutes until recess ended and we returned to the classroom. I even remember having similar conversations with my parents about it as I now have with my kids. Some things never change. In that one respect, I'll be happy for DS when he hits middle school since I don't think there is recess. Of course, new challenges will await and I hear the bullying gets worse. It's not easy for sons if they aren't the cookie cutter athletic types. Big picture, it all evens out down the road, so just have to remember that. Above all, support your child and hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Is your son interested in music? Another way to be social is joining the orchestra or band. How about some guitar lessons?

[Anonymous]

My DS took up fencing, which is a great sport for kids who are a little more "in their head" and not as athletic. DS calls it "chess with swords". He's still is not very good at other traditional sports (and doesn't even enjoy them), but I know he's found his sport that he both enjoys and excels at.

[Anonymous]

OP here. We live in NW DC. Which Rec Centers should I try? DS does not want to do Stoddert any more. I think he is too discouraged and embarrassed and the other kids make fun of him.

[Anonymous]

Do you have him invite friends over to play?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At his age he (and all kids) should know how to throw a ball, catch a ball, shoot a hoop, kick a ball, hit a ball.

Says who?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At his age he (and all kids) should know how to throw a ball, catch a ball, shoot a hoop, kick a ball, hit a ball.

Says who?

Yes, exactly! Apparently PP has never heard of the bell curve.