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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DS is 10, an excellent student, and terrible at sports. He cannot or does not feel that he can join the gang of sporty boys in his grade who hang together at recess playing soccer and such. One or two of the kids sneer at him for not being good at sports. He puts up defenses against this that aren't the best but most importantly just feels lousy about how the sports affects his standing in the social ladder. How can we practically help? We don't care about it at all but he lives in a world where it does seem to matter. Being a bit of an academic superstar does not seem to be at all helpful. Its not how one gains position in the world of 10-11 year old boys. I hate thinking like this! [/quote]

You have described my 8 yr old DS to a T.   He wants to join the other kids playing soccer during recess but some of the kids make comments about his lack of ability in not so nice ways and don't want him to play. I feel so bad for him, but I don't show it or baby him about it.

Instead, we've tried to help him come up with ways to respond like "well, I can't get better if I don't practice or play".  The other thing we've done, as other PPs have stated, is put him in fun Rec Center teams, after school games through MSA or such.  We haven't done an actual league, partly because DS is not interested enough to be in a league, maybe it's because he feels he is not good enough, I don't know.  Another thing I thought of, but haven't had a chance to do yet, is hire an older kid who is good at the sport to give my DS some lessons.  I would pay the teen by the hour or something.

I also stress to DS that some kids are good in sports, others in academics, and others in music.  I stress DS's abilities, but encourage him to keep trying the sport.

DS is not very good in most sports. In one of the Rec Center team, another kid made rude comments to DS about his lack of ability.  DS was very discouraged and wanted to quit.  We convinced DS to not give up.  We don't want DS to give up whenever he is discouraged or something is too hard.  We told him that there will always be someone who tries to bring him down. If you are having fun, keep trying, keep going, don't give up.  On the rare occasion DS makes a goal, the smile on his face is priceless.  He (and we) feels so proud of himself.[/quote]

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