Should I Have Called the Police?

[Anonymous]

Even if he shrunk a cashmere sweater in the dryer, he does not deserve any violence to be directed towards him. Ever. No one does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife assaulted me - the third time in the past five months. She started with whipping me with a pair of jeans she had in her hand. I retreated to another room in the house where she continued punching and slapping at me - trying to get at my face. My crime: 1) putting her bra in the drier; and 2) telling her that she has no right to speak disrespectfully and insultingly about my mother.

I threatened to call the police on her, which enraged her even more. Eventually, I was just able to leave the house.

Right. You put her bra in the dryer and she started insulting/disrespecting your mother and then whipped/hit/punched you...

You didn't touch her. You didn't instigate. You are completely without fault in this situation, and posting to DCUM because you're terrified for your safety. From the pants.

Don't "threaten to call the police" OP. Do it. Or don't. But the fact that you're using it as a threat means you're more involved in this than you think. Get out. Call the cops. Or don't. Walk away and cool off. Come back and talk when you're rational.

I suspect your put your wife's bra in the dryer after having done so multiple times and ruined multiple bras and been asked to not on multiple occasions. Your mother is probably a monster-in-law who disrespects and insults your wife, which you allow because you can't stand up to her any more than you can stand up to your wife.

If you don't want to leave your wife, calling the cops because she hit you with a pair of jeans is a really stupid idea. While there is no excuse to hit, there's also nothing to gain by trying to punish your spouse if you'd like to remain married. The police are going to escalate this situation without offering you much help you can't already find for yourself. Posters above have given you links to local resources. Call the police if you are in danger.

Evaluating your own behavior and how it has contributed to this situation is ALWAYS a sound plan. If she's a pants-whipping ragebeast all the time, you need to figure out why you want to stay. If she's pushed to the brink of completely losing her shit, you need to evaluate what, if anything, you can/will do about the underlying causes.

Counseling is a good idea for couples with problems who choose to try to stay together. Knowing yourself and your own issues is key to making counseling work.

OMG! Are you his wife? You are a horrible, horrible person. I was ashamed to read this.

[Anonymous]

3rd time in 5mths you got whupped?
Geezus

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife assaulted me - the third time in the past five months. She started with whipping me with a pair of jeans she had in her hand. I retreated to another room in the house where she continued punching and slapping at me - trying to get at my face. My crime: 1) putting her bra in the drier; and 2) telling her that she has no right to speak disrespectfully and insultingly about my mother.

I threatened to call the police on her, which enraged her even more. Eventually, I was just able to leave the house.

Right. You put her bra in the dryer and she started insulting/disrespecting your mother and then whipped/hit/punched you...

You didn't touch her. You didn't instigate. You are completely without fault in this situation, and posting to DCUM because you're terrified for your safety. From the pants.

Don't "threaten to call the police" OP. Do it. Or don't. But the fact that you're using it as a threat means you're more involved in this than you think. Get out. Call the cops. Or don't. Walk away and cool off. Come back and talk when you're rational.

I suspect your put your wife's bra in the dryer after having done so multiple times and ruined multiple bras and been asked to not on multiple occasions. Your mother is probably a monster-in-law who disrespects and insults your wife, which you allow because you can't stand up to her any more than you can stand up to your wife.

If you don't want to leave your wife, calling the cops because she hit you with a pair of jeans is a really stupid idea. While there is no excuse to hit, there's also nothing to gain by trying to punish your spouse if you'd like to remain married. The police are going to escalate this situation without offering you much help you can't already find for yourself. Posters above have given you links to local resources. Call the police if you are in danger.

Evaluating your own behavior and how it has contributed to this situation is ALWAYS a sound plan. If she's a pants-whipping ragebeast all the time, you need to figure out why you want to stay. If she's pushed to the brink of completely losing her shit, you need to evaluate what, if anything, you can/will do about the underlying causes.

Counseling is a good idea for couples with problems who choose to try to stay together. Knowing yourself and your own issues is key to making counseling work.

OMG! Are you his wife? You are a horrible, horrible person. I was ashamed to read this.

I know, right? I feel dirty just reading this trash.

[Anonymous]

My husband has done some crappy things to my laundry. I've never, ever hit him. This is not okay.

Are there kids? If she thinks its ok to hit you, I'm pretty sure she'll think it's okay to hit them. I'd call a DV hotline and get advice from them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has done some crappy things to my laundry. I've never, ever hit him. This is not okay.

Are there kids? If she thinks its ok to hit you, I'm pretty sure she'll think it's okay to hit them. I'd call a DV hotline and get advice from them.

I know! My first month at a new job, my then-DH took all of my suits and camis to a dry cleaner. He was never able to remember which one. I think I called him some choice words but the only damage I did was to the credit card at Macy's.

This woman sounds like she has serious rage issues. OP is not going to be able to avoid her wrath even if he never touches her laundry again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife assaulted me - the third time in the past five months. She started with whipping me with a pair of jeans she had in her hand. I retreated to another room in the house where she continued punching and slapping at me - trying to get at my face. My crime: 1) putting her bra in the drier; and 2) telling her that she has no right to speak disrespectfully and insultingly about my mother.

I threatened to call the police on her, which enraged her even more. Eventually, I was just able to leave the house.

Right. You put her bra in the dryer and she started insulting/disrespecting your mother and then whipped/hit/punched you...

You didn't touch her. You didn't instigate. You are completely without fault in this situation, and posting to DCUM because you're terrified for your safety. From the pants.

Don't "threaten to call the police" OP. Do it. Or don't. But the fact that you're using it as a threat means you're more involved in this than you think. Get out. Call the cops. Or don't. Walk away and cool off. Come back and talk when you're rational.

I suspect your put your wife's bra in the dryer after having done so multiple times and ruined multiple bras and been asked to not on multiple occasions. Your mother is probably a monster-in-law who disrespects and insults your wife, which you allow because you can't stand up to her any more than you can stand up to your wife.

If you don't want to leave your wife, calling the cops because she hit you with a pair of jeans is a really stupid idea. While there is no excuse to hit, there's also nothing to gain by trying to punish your spouse if you'd like to remain married. The police are going to escalate this situation without offering you much help you can't already find for yourself. Posters above have given you links to local resources. Call the police if you are in danger.

Evaluating your own behavior and how it has contributed to this situation is ALWAYS a sound plan. If she's a pants-whipping ragebeast all the time, you need to figure out why you want to stay. If she's pushed to the brink of completely losing her shit, you need to evaluate what, if anything, you can/will do about the underlying causes.

Counseling is a good idea for couples with problems who choose to try to stay together. Knowing yourself and your own issues is key to making counseling work.

OMG! Are you his wife? You are a horrible, horrible person. I was ashamed to read this.

I know, right? I feel dirty just reading this trash.

Agree. Disgusting.

One can only imagine the screams of outrage if you reversed the genders and starting telling a beaten wife to "evaluate your own behavior and how it has contributed to this situation". Blame the victim much, jerk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OMG! Are you his wife? You are a horrible, horrible person. I was ashamed to read this.

I know, right? I feel dirty just reading this trash.

Asking a person to evaluate the whole of a situation and how the fit into it is "dirty" to you? Good to know.

Someone on this thread said they wanted to get the problem to stop (I'm assuming it was OP). Understanding what caused it is pretty freaking important. You can oversimplify with your bullshit platitudes all you'd like, but that's not going to solve the actual problem.

And if you truly believe that OP is a saint to hir completely wack-ass spouse, well, you're really fucking gullible. This sort of thing has roots. If you want to kill it, you have to kill it at the root. Anything else is a band-aid, even if simpletons on the internet say otherwise.

OP had a part in this. That doesn't justify hitting (hence my saying "there is no excuse to hit").

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Blame the victim much, jerk?

Blame? No. Understand that this wasn't some sort of random attack? Yes.

While we've only gotten a very distilled version of events from OPs perspective, there is more to this story. I don't believe for a second that OP was just innocently skipping through the daisies when this happened, and you shouldn't, either.

There's no reason to hit.

If you're going to stay with a person who has hit you, and you want that behavior to stop, you need to understand where you stand. Why do you want to stay in that situation? What caused that outburst? Knowing those things gives you something to address. Blame is an idiot's move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blame the victim much, jerk?

Blame? No. Understand that this wasn't some sort of random attack? Yes.

While we've only gotten a very distilled version of events from OPs perspective, there is more to this story. I don't believe for a second that OP was just innocently skipping through the daisies when this happened, and you shouldn't, either.

There's no reason to hit.

If you're going to stay with a person who has hit you, and you want that behavior to stop, you need to understand where you stand. Why do you want to stay in that situation? What caused that outburst? Knowing those things gives you something to address. Blame is an idiot's move.

new poster here, and you are a terrible person. There is no rhyme or reason to it or anyway to avoid an abusive person's outburst. I don't care if this was the 20th bra OP ruined you are a victim blaming POS who needs to take your crappy agenda and spew it somewhere else. I have never seen you post this trash when a women makes an OP about a physically abusive husband, NO ONE in their right mind would tell a battered women to examine her own behaviors that caused the outburst- get a freakin' grip- do you beat your husband and then blame him and come here to justify? because that is what we are all thinking about you....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OMG! Are you his wife? You are a horrible, horrible person. I was ashamed to read this.

I know, right? I feel dirty just reading this trash.

Asking a person to evaluate the whole of a situation and how the fit into it is "dirty" to you? Good to know.

Someone on this thread said they wanted to get the problem to stop (I'm assuming it was OP). Understanding what caused it is pretty freaking important. You can oversimplify with your bullshit platitudes all you'd like, but that's not going to solve the actual problem.

And if you truly believe that OP is a saint to hir completely wack-ass spouse, well, you're really fucking gullible. This sort of thing has roots. If you want to kill it, you have to kill it at the root. Anything else is a band-aid, even if simpletons on the internet say otherwise.

OP had a part in this. That doesn't justify hitting (hence my saying "there is no excuse to hit").

No, the totality of your post is trash. And dirty. And so are you.

[Anonymous]

Whatever you choose to do, stop doing her laundry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whatever you choose to do, stop doing her laundry.

Lol - indeed...she wouldn't have to worry about me washing anything of hers from now on.

[Anonymous]

Family Justice Center Rockville. Please.

Don't listen to the animal on here trying to blame the victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any time it gets to the point where you wonder if you should call the police, it's time to call a divorce attorney.

Wow- verbally abused wife here. THank you- this helps a lot.