Too old to date ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I do have major self esteem issues to the point where I feel horrible even for my friends for even liking me. I had a bf for 4 years a few years back and I felt like I was holding him back like he shouldn't waste his time with me. So I broke up with him, I never loved him but we were comfortable together.

My ideal relationship would be where a man who is single doesn't want to be alone either. Doesn't want to come home to an empty house, has his meals ready fit him, dishes and laundry done for him. And I'm just like his maid and companion in the evenings. That way he could still date if he wanted to if he didn't really like me. I don't know where to find this guy though.

. You need to work out your issues first. This is not a recipe for a successful relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I do have major self esteem issues to the point where I feel horrible even for my friends for even liking me. I had a bf for 4 years a few years back and I felt like I was holding him back like he shouldn't waste his time with me. So I broke up with him, I never loved him but we were comfortable together.

My ideal relationship would be where a man who is single doesn't want to be alone either. Doesn't want to come home to an empty house, has his meals ready fit him, dishes and laundry done for him. And I'm just like his maid and companion in the evenings. That way he could still date if he wanted to if he didn't really like me. I don't know where to find this guy though.

. You need to work out your issues first. This is not a recipe for a successful relationship.

Yes I have given up on a successful relationship I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I do have major self esteem issues to the point where I feel horrible even for my friends for even liking me. I had a bf for 4 years a few years back and I felt like I was holding him back like he shouldn't waste his time with me. So I broke up with him, I never loved him but we were comfortable together.

My ideal relationship would be where a man who is single doesn't want to be alone either. Doesn't want to come home to an empty house, has his meals ready fit him, dishes and laundry done for him. And I'm just like his maid and companion in the evenings. That way he could still date if he wanted to if he didn't really like me. I don't know where to find this guy though.

. You need to work out your issues first. This is not a recipe for a successful relationship.

Yes I have given up on a successful relationship I think.

well are you attractive? in shape? if so, then maybe you want to explore the DOM/SUB type relationship which by the sounds of your last post may be what you want or need. that is appealing to many men - the downside is that you need to be open and willing sexually for whatever the DOM wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I do have major self esteem issues to the point where I feel horrible even for my friends for even liking me. I had a bf for 4 years a few years back and I felt like I was holding him back like he shouldn't waste his time with me. So I broke up with him, I never loved him but we were comfortable together.

My ideal relationship would be where a man who is single doesn't want to be alone either. Doesn't want to come home to an empty house, has his meals ready fit him, dishes and laundry done for him. And I'm just like his maid and companion in the evenings. That way he could still date if he wanted to if he didn't really like me. I don't know where to find this guy though.

. You need to work out your issues first. This is not a recipe for a successful relationship.

I'd suggest therapy. You have some serious issues there. Are you talking about having an asexual, companionate marriage of convenience? And you're only 31? When I opened this thread, I thought that the OP would be at least 60.

I met my DH at 32, married at 36 and two kids before 40. My father met his wife when he was 70 and she was slightly younger. They are madly in love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I do have major self esteem issues to the point where I feel horrible even for my friends for even liking me. I had a bf for 4 years a few years back and I felt like I was holding him back like he shouldn't waste his time with me. So I broke up with him, I never loved him but we were comfortable together.

My ideal relationship would be where a man who is single doesn't want to be alone either. Doesn't want to come home to an empty house, has his meals ready fit him, dishes and laundry done for him. And I'm just like his maid and companion in the evenings. That way he could still date if he wanted to if he didn't really like me. I don't know where to find this guy though.

. You need to work out your issues first. This is not a recipe for a successful relationship.

Yes I have given up on a successful relationship I think.

well are you attractive? in shape? if so, then maybe you want to explore the DOM/SUB type relationship which by the sounds of your last post may be what you want or need. that is appealing to many men - the downside is that you need to be open and willing sexually for whatever the DOM wants.

I am attractive but about 40 pounds over weight. I'm not into the Dom sub thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I do have major self esteem issues to the point where I feel horrible even for my friends for even liking me. I had a bf for 4 years a few years back and I felt like I was holding him back like he shouldn't waste his time with me. So I broke up with him, I never loved him but we were comfortable together.

My ideal relationship would be where a man who is single doesn't want to be alone either. Doesn't want to come home to an empty house, has his meals ready fit him, dishes and laundry done for him. And I'm just like his maid and companion in the evenings. That way he could still date if he wanted to if he didn't really like me. I don't know where to find this guy though.

. You need to work out your issues first. This is not a recipe for a successful relationship.

I'd suggest therapy. You have some serious issues there. Are you talking about having an asexual, companionate marriage of convenience? And you're only 31? When I opened this thread, I thought that the OP would be at least 60.

I met my DH at 32, married at 36 and two kids before 40. My father met his wife when he was 70 and she was slightly younger. They are madly in love.

No not an asexual relationship. I would have sex with him but I do have my limits. I'm conservative

[Anonymous]

Honey, you need a makeover.

People have suggested therapy. You can go that route.

Whether you do therapy or not start working on some self improvement projects. Join a gym or get some home exercise equipment if a gym is too much and start on those 40 pounds. Join toastmasters to learn how to speak confidently in front of others. The church/synagogue idea is a good one as well. There is some group that advertises on the radio that plans active outings for singles (kayaking, etc.). Volunteer once a week at a hospital or Martha's Table. Helping others is a great way to cure feeling too sorry for oneself.

You do not need a man or husband to have a good fulfilling life. But you do need to be the best you you can be to have a happy one.

[Anonymous]

just to answer the original question: no, you are never too old. 31 is...ridiculously young. My grandfather got his last girlfriend at 89 and they 'dated' until he died at 101...she was younger, but is now 103.

[Anonymous]

My DH told me he was prisoner 24601....I turned him in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I do have major self esteem issues to the point where I feel horrible even for my friends for even liking me. I had a bf for 4 years a few years back and I felt like I was holding him back like he shouldn't waste his time with me. So I broke up with him, I never loved him but we were comfortable together.

My ideal relationship would be where a man who is single doesn't want to be alone either. Doesn't want to come home to an empty house, has his meals ready fit him, dishes and laundry done for him. And I'm just like his maid and companion in the evenings. That way he could still date if he wanted to if he didn't really like me. I don't know where to find this guy though.

oh there are men that are totally cool with. the real question is why are you ok with thinking like this?

[Anonymous]

Have you ever heard the saying "Too old too marry, but too young to bury?".....Lol.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you been in therapy? You are a prisoner of your own psyche. That you feel "horrible" for your friends because they care for you? That you feel all you are worthy of is being a maid for someone, but not love, commitment, partnership...such a terribly distorted perception of yourself.
Was your childhood very difficult?

[Anonymous]

You should do it now (make yourself). Otherwise you'll soon be 40 and wish you had done so when you were a young 31 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:just to answer the original question: no, you are never too old. 31 is...ridiculously young. My grandfather got his last girlfriend at 89 and they 'dated' until he died at 101...she was younger, but is now 103.

Dude had game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honey, you need a makeover.

People have suggested therapy. You can go that route.

Whether you do therapy or not start working on some self improvement projects. Join a gym or get some home exercise equipment if a gym is too much and start on those 40 pounds. Join toastmasters to learn how to speak confidently in front of others. The church/synagogue idea is a good one as well. There is some group that advertises on the radio that plans active outings for singles (kayaking, etc.). Volunteer once a week at a hospital or Martha's Table. Helping others is a great way to cure feeling too sorry for oneself.

You do not need a man or husband to have a good fulfilling life. But you do need to be the best you you can be to have a happy one.

I'm not the OP, but feel similar about relationships and my lack of prospects for a fulfilling one. I appreciate reading this advice