What's up with the stink eye?

[Anonymous]

What would make me give the stink eye to another mother who was "just talking" to her kid? Cluelessness about the world around her -- stopping in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store, unaware that others are trying to get by, for example. Stopping to teach a lesson or praise in the middle of a transaction at a store, meaning others wait longer. It's a small part of a broader phenomenon -- I have to do what's right for my child at any given moment, the rest of the world be damned.

I have no idea if you're doing these things, OP. Just throwing it out there for consideration.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to go with door number 3 - they have an uncontrollable facial twitch that makes them appear to be giving you the stink eye. Because if you're over 9 and giving someone the stink eye you need to go see someone. Or have an extra cocktail. Good Lord.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would make me give the stink eye to another mother who was "just talking" to her kid? Cluelessness about the world around her -- stopping in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store, unaware that others are trying to get by, for example. Stopping to teach a lesson or praise in the middle of a transaction at a store, meaning others wait longer. It's a small part of a broader phenomenon -- I have to do what's right for my child at any given moment, the rest of the world be damned.

I have no idea if you're doing these things, OP. Just throwing it out there for consideration.

I was taught to say "excuse me" when that type of thing happened, not give people evil looks.

[Anonymous]

I am a very nice, usually non-confrontational person who tries very much to abide by the philosophies of both "let and let live" and "you never know what another person is going through."

That said, it is hard for me not to roll my eyes or grimace when I see parents letting their children play on the floor of a restaurant or a mall. Super gross, and in the way of other patrons. (I'm sure that's not what OP was doing -- that's just my personal pet peeve.)

[Anonymous]

I routinely let my DC help me with check out at the grocery store and also swipe my credit card in the machine and sign for it. I know it takes more time but it is teaching my DC to participate in something we do regularly, it is fun, and it makes the whole shopping experience an outing instead of a chore. I know it burns up people behind us so I don't let it drag on and on, but hey, it's our turn and you have to wait. When I notice the 'evil eye' I do say loudly enough so others can hear "hurry, people are waiting" but really don't hurry up too much. For everything else in life, I am super conscious of those around us. At least I think I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I routinely let my DC help me with check out at the grocery store and also swipe my credit card in the machine and sign for it. I know it takes more time but it is teaching my DC to participate in something we do regularly, it is fun, and it makes the whole shopping experience an outing instead of a chore. I know it burns up people behind us so I don't let it drag on and on, but hey, it's our turn and you have to wait. When I notice the 'evil eye' I do say loudly enough so others can hear "hurry, people are waiting" but really don't hurry up too much. For everything else in life, I am super conscious of those around us. At least I think I am.

If I saw you do that, I'd think it was cute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I routinely let my DC help me with check out at the grocery store and also swipe my credit card in the machine and sign for it. I know it takes more time but it is teaching my DC to participate in something we do regularly, it is fun, and it makes the whole shopping experience an outing instead of a chore. I know it burns up people behind us so I don't let it drag on and on, but hey, it's our turn and you have to wait. When I notice the 'evil eye' I do say loudly enough so others can hear "hurry, people are waiting" but really don't hurry up too much. For everything else in life, I am super conscious of those around us. At least I think I am.

Ugh. I'd have tons more sympathy if your dc was 16 years old and learning to use a card for him or herself. There are equally useful ways to involve your child without making others wait. I pass things to my son to hold on to--as his way of helping--like the shopping list I no longer need, or have him pass me food from the cart while I am also loading things on the conveyer belt. Or maybe you could choose a time when the store isn't crowded. Or have your child count items. Or anything else.

I like to point out autumn foliage to my kids, but I'm not slowing down on the beltway to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I give moms the stink eye when they are talking too loudly to their kid, using a baby voice when child is not a baby, clearly PRAISING the kid for normal stuff loudly enough so that everyone else has to know the kid is amazing, criticizing a child in front of others harshly, yelling, hitting, dragging, grabbing, and negotiating.

I am essentially give every mother the stink eye every second of every day. I am so generally annoyed that I it requires everything in me not to tell certain moms to get over themselves. It is a miracle I am married or have any friends. Trust me. The funny thing is, I know that many people love their kids and are doing the best they can. I just hate to hear them parent in the above fashion. Like nails on a chalkboard. Hence, the stink eye.

You sound like me

[Anonymous]

What would make me give the stink eye to another mother who was "just talking" to her kid? Cluelessness about the world around her -- stopping in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store, unaware that others are trying to get by, for example. Stopping to teach a lesson or praise in the middle of a transaction at a store, meaning others wait longer. It's a small part of a broader phenomenon -- I have to do what's right for my child at any given moment, the rest of the world be damned.

I have no idea if you're doing these things, OP. Just throwing it out there for consideration.


I was taught to say "excuse me" when that type of thing happened, not give people evil looks.

I know that I'm guilty of the above, but as an overwhelmed mother of two, I certainly don't do it with the selfish intent that you infer. Ironic, isn't it, that you are assuming that I am a self-centered person intent on forcing you to wait that extra two minutes, when in fact, you are in such a hurry that you can't stop for two minutes while I take care of my children. You're probably one of those people who go out of their way to NOT open a door for me when I have my stroller, aren't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I routinely let my DC help me with check out at the grocery store and also swipe my credit card in the machine and sign for it. I know it takes more time but it is teaching my DC to participate in something we do regularly, it is fun, and it makes the whole shopping experience an outing instead of a chore. I know it burns up people behind us so I don't let it drag on and on, but hey, it's our turn and you have to wait. When I notice the 'evil eye' I do say loudly enough so others can hear "hurry, people are waiting" but really don't hurry up too much. For everything else in life, I am super conscious of those around us. At least I think I am.

I would do this but only if there is no one else behind me. I'd be pretty annoyed if I was behind you and ended up with melted ice cream because of your shopping lesson. In fact, I might even tell on you. You know, have a word with the manager. It is bad enough that the avereage cashier is slow as molasses - so customers really need to show some appreciation for the rest of us fools stuck in endless lines.

[Anonymous]

OP, can you give an example of the kind of conversation you were having when you got the look?

[Anonymous]

I would do this but only if there is no one else behind me. I'd be pretty annoyed if I was behind you and ended up with melted ice cream because of your shopping lesson. In fact, I might even tell on you. You know, have a word with the manager. It is bad enough that the avereage cashier is slow as molasses - so customers really need to show some appreciation for the rest of us fools stuck in endless lines.

How much more time does this really take, honestly? One minute? You'd really have a word with the manager to tell that I made you wait one minute longer in line than you should have? People need to relax a little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I would do this but only if there is no one else behind me. I'd be pretty annoyed if I was behind you and ended up with melted ice cream because of your shopping lesson. In fact, I might even tell on you. You know, have a word with the manager. It is bad enough that the avereage cashier is slow as molasses - so customers really need to show some appreciation for the rest of us fools stuck in endless lines.

How much more time does this really take, honestly? One minute? You'd really have a word with the manager to tell that I made you wait one minute longer in line than you should have? People need to relax a little.

I don't want to give you one minute of my life so your kid can scan groceries. Be considerate! I'd love to be ahead of you one day and whip out a stack of coupons and then proceed to write a check to pay. How would you like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I would do this but only if there is no one else behind me. I'd be pretty annoyed if I was behind you and ended up with melted ice cream because of your shopping lesson. In fact, I might even tell on you. You know, have a word with the manager. It is bad enough that the avereage cashier is slow as molasses - so customers really need to show some appreciation for the rest of us fools stuck in endless lines.

How much more time does this really take, honestly? One minute? You'd really have a word with the manager to tell that I made you wait one minute longer in line than you should have? People need to relax a little.

I don't want to give you one minute of my life so your kid can scan groceries. Be considerate! I'd love to be ahead of you one day and whip out a stack of coupons and then proceed to write a check to pay. How would you like that?

Does this kind of stuff truly bother you that much? If you let outside circumstances have this much control over your well-being, it's really setting you up for misery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I routinely let my DC help me with check out at the grocery store and also swipe my credit card in the machine and sign for it. I know it takes more time but it is teaching my DC to participate in something we do regularly, it is fun, and it makes the whole shopping experience an outing instead of a chore. I know it burns up people behind us so I don't let it drag on and on, but hey, it's our turn and you have to wait. When I notice the 'evil eye' I do say loudly enough so others can hear "hurry, people are waiting" but really don't hurry up too much. For everything else in life, I am super conscious of those around us. At least I think I am.

I would do this but only if there is no one else behind me. I'd be pretty annoyed if I was behind you and ended up with melted ice cream because of your shopping lesson. In fact, I might even tell on you. You know, have a word with the manager. It is bad enough that the avereage cashier is slow as molasses - so customers really need to show some appreciation for the rest of us fools stuck in endless lines.

OMG. How old are you?! You know what's SURE to melt your ice cream? Spending 15 minutes tracking down a manager to "tell on" a Mom who delayed you by probably 30 seconds. And what is the manager going to do anyway?! You've got to be kidding.