Are my DD's bf's parents racist? What should I do?

[Anonymous]

I call troll on this. No way a 16 year old boy invites the parents of the girl he just "recently" started dating over FOR DINNER. No way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call troll on this. No way a 16 year old boy invites the parents of the girl he just "recently" started dating over FOR DINNER. No way.

Not the OP, but it sort of happened with us. Our DD's BF's mother (single parent) took us out to dinner when our kids started dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I call troll on this. No way a 16 year old boy invites the parents of the girl he just "recently" started dating over FOR DINNER. No way.

Not the OP, but it sort of happened with us. Our DD's BF's mother (single parent) took us out to dinner when our kids started dating.

as a parent, I would want to meet my kids' BF/G. Why wouldn't you? Doesn't matter if it's serious or not. If they are "dating" then as a parent, you want to know who your kid is getting involved with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I call troll on this. No way a 16 year old boy invites the parents of the girl he just "recently" started dating over FOR DINNER. No way.

Not the OP, but it sort of happened with us. Our DD's BF's mother (single parent) took us out to dinner when our kids started dating.

as a parent, I would want to meet my kids' BF/G. Why wouldn't you? Doesn't matter if it's serious or not. If they are "dating" then as a parent, you want to know who your kid is getting involved with.

Yes, of course you want to meet the parent. But go back and read the original post. It goes from being introduced to parents to leaving bf's parents' house after dinner in the same sentence. Sixteen year old boys do not invite parents over for dinner. Their parents do. And if they are racist, as in using terms like "colored people," they are not inviting the parents of a biracial girl over for dinner.

And while we're at it, no "strong black woman" needs to come to DCUM to ask if her daughter's boyfriend's parents are racist. She's been black all her life. She knows racism pretty well.

Troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call troll on this. No way a 16 year old boy invites the parents of the girl he just "recently" started dating over FOR DINNER. No way.

Totally agree, PP. I call troll on this, too. I mean really, OP, "coloreds."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I call troll on this. No way a 16 year old boy invites the parents of the girl he just "recently" started dating over FOR DINNER. No way.

Totally agree, PP. I call troll on this, too. I mean really, OP, "coloreds."

Have not heard that word in decades!

Great troll! Points to you!

[Anonymous]

OP, my kids are bi racial and there are tons of issues that come up. It gets more complex. Some families would allow their child to date a light skinned black person, but not a dark skinned one. You have to avoid those folks. I have an attitude that I stay away from racists at all costs. Maybe dd should consider that for now. He is still a child and this is a tough issue for him to navigate.
My dd who is 10 is friends with a Russian girl whose parents HATE us. They think that we are too successful financially and that should never happen since I am not white. Big issues with envy. They have said straight up that they do not like blacks. I have told dd that she can not be there with just the grandfather (he is the worst). These people are not irresponsible and would not do anything stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I call troll on this. No way a 16 year old boy invites the parents of the girl he just "recently" started dating over FOR DINNER. No way.

Totally agree, PP. I call troll on this, too. I mean really, OP, "coloreds."

Have not heard that word in decades!

Great troll! Points to you!

Indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I call troll on this. No way a 16 year old boy invites the parents of the girl he just "recently" started dating over FOR DINNER. No way.

Not the OP, but it sort of happened with us. Our DD's BF's mother (single parent) took us out to dinner when our kids started dating.

as a parent, I would want to meet my kids' BF/G. Why wouldn't you? Doesn't matter if it's serious or not. If they are "dating" then as a parent, you want to know who your kid is getting involved with.

Yes, of course you want to meet the parent. But go back and read the original post. It goes from being introduced to parents to leaving bf's parents' house after dinner in the same sentence. Sixteen year old boys do not invite parents over for dinner. Their parents do. And if they are racist, as in using terms like "colored people," they are not inviting the parents of a biracial girl over for dinner.

And while we're at it, no "strong black woman" needs to come to DCUM to ask if her daughter's boyfriend's parents are racist. She's been black all her life. She knows racism pretty well.

Troll.

Disagree. My parents are racist and talk like this ALL the time. But my mother also believes she is a very polite and friendly person. She would absolutely invite someone over that she had prejudiced ideas about. And chances are she'd say at least one awkward thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:as a parent, I would want to meet my kids' BF/G. Why wouldn't you? Doesn't matter if it's serious or not. If they are "dating" then as a parent, you want to know who your kid is getting involved with.

Meet- Maybe. Have them over for dinner- No.

I'm curious, when you started dating (middle school, high school, college) when did your parents meet your bf/gf's parents? I'm guessing that most people's parents get together for dinner when it is serious, long term, and headed towards marriage. I think its important to find out about the kid and try to get a sense of their family. But a formal dinner get-together rapidly approaches helicoptering to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth are you eating dinner with parents of a 16yr old casually dating. That is weird. I would just never see them again and let the kids go out. No big deal.

Bingo! Seriously.... It's VERY weird. To invite the bf over for dinner is one thing but his parents too? They are 16... Not 32. Also, I'm biracial and you have to shake stuff like this off. You can't change peoples views. I think they felt awkward too and that's fine.

I don't think it's weird. If the kids are dating, or friends, it's helpful for the parents to know each other a little. That way they can check stories and get on the same page for decisions. "Did you tell Johnny that a hotel room for prom night was acceptable? No? Good. I'm telling Susie the same thing."

I think it's premature only in that the kids JUST started dating. After 6 months, I met my older DD's bf's parents. She was also 16. Our kids dated for 3, almost 4 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:as a parent, I would want to meet my kids' BF/G. Why wouldn't you? Doesn't matter if it's serious or not. If they are "dating" then as a parent, you want to know who your kid is getting involved with.

Meet- Maybe. Have them over for dinner- No.

I'm curious, when you started dating (middle school, high school, college) when did your parents meet your bf/gf's parents? I'm guessing that most people's parents get together for dinner when it is serious, long term, and headed towards marriage. I think its important to find out about the kid and try to get a sense of their family. But a formal dinner get-together rapidly approaches helicoptering to me.

Wow. Family meeting family is now helicoptering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:as a parent, I would want to meet my kids' BF/G. Why wouldn't you? Doesn't matter if it's serious or not. If they are "dating" then as a parent, you want to know who your kid is getting involved with.

Meet- Maybe. Have them over for dinner- No.

I'm curious, when you started dating (middle school, high school, college) when did your parents meet your bf/gf's parents? I'm guessing that most people's parents get together for dinner when it is serious, long term, and headed towards marriage. I think its important to find out about the kid and try to get a sense of their family. But a formal dinner get-together rapidly approaches helicoptering to me.

Wow. Family meeting family is now helicoptering.

Read much? Family meeting family is very different than having them over for dinner. Are you saying that your parents required a sit-down dinner with your first boyfriend's parents? Or are you watching your child more closely than your parents? I think its a great idea to know who your kid is dating and should meet their parents. Say "hi" at a school event, have the kids introduce you and shake their hand. But insist they come over for dinner? Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:as a parent, I would want to meet my kids' BF/G. Why wouldn't you? Doesn't matter if it's serious or not. If they are "dating" then as a parent, you want to know who your kid is getting involved with.

Meet- Maybe. Have them over for dinner- No.

I'm curious, when you started dating (middle school, high school, college) when did your parents meet your bf/gf's parents? I'm guessing that most people's parents get together for dinner when it is serious, long term, and headed towards marriage. I think its important to find out about the kid and try to get a sense of their family. But a formal dinner get-together rapidly approaches helicoptering to me.

Wow. Family meeting family is now helicoptering.

Read much? Family meeting family is very different than having them over for dinner. Are you saying that your parents required a sit-down dinner with your first boyfriend's parents? Or are you watching your child more closely than your parents? I think its a great idea to know who your kid is dating and should meet their parents. Say "hi" at a school event, have the kids introduce you and shake their hand. But insist they come over for dinner? Sheesh.

Your reading comprehension could use some work. Nobody said anything about "requiring" it. Someone extended an invitation and the other family accepted. It's called being friendly. Being social.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the story was reversed would you be as surprised.

If it was a white boy going to a black girls house and the black parents only had black friends. If the blavk parents were surprised how nice the white boy was ... Would it be different?

Is there some advice here or answer to the OPs question? What if OP was Asian or Indian or vice versa? You are not helpful AT ALL.

Yes. My advice is to get over it. Most people from the generation with teens don't have friends of different races and are bigoted. Asian... Indian... Black... White... Hispanic.

Eventually our kids are going to have to break the cycle.

Be strong or hide in your own group of friends.