So I think I just got played - online dating - OK Cupid

[Anonymous]

This is the op. This really happened. No way could i make up something like this. What a crazy way to ask for a threesome. Why would they go to a single girl looking specifically for a guy for a threesome?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Got played?? Getting played is where you develop feelings for a guy. You finally have sex with him after say 1-3 dates and he never speaks to you again.

Op here. Ok bad choice of words you are right. I would hate for that to happen to me!!!

[Anonymous]

OP I do not believe you are 40. Between your other thread and this one you sound like you have the emotional maturity of a 16 year old.

If it was a fake picture before, someone probably reported it and it was removed.
Maybe he is looking for a third. So what?
You are surprised that guys don't read your profile? I used to say in the very first sentence where I am originally from, and guys would still ask if I was originally from DC.

[Anonymous]

I don't see what the big deal is
Comes with the territory of online dating.
OP is acting like this is some shocking anomaly that completely caught her off guard.
LOL - where the hell have you been OP?

In the cryptic confines of cyberspace everyone is an alias
and everything is a lie - get used to it.

[Anonymous]

I don't know about getting "played" here. It sounds like you had a little too much invested in one interaction.

Online dating is a numbers game. Send lots of emails, respond to a lot of emails, try not to think about one profile or interaction too too much till you've met the dude in person.

[Anonymous]

I met DH through online cupid. But I def had some weird people send me messages and try to contact me. That is just part of online dating. The reason DH's message stuck out to me was because he actually asked questions that showed he had read and thought about my profile.

OP, you don't really sound like you are cut out for online dating. Perhaps a match making service would be better?

[Anonymous]

OP you did not get played. It was definitely weird on his part, but you didn't get played. This is what online dating is. You get a lot of strange people for one normal one. That's why you have to be very careful and very selective. If you plan to get this worked up over someone switching a picture, you need to find other ways to meet people.

I've actually BEEN propositioned for a threesome on OK Cupid. They were up front about it and I said no. But to each their own.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks for the replies. Yes i am really 40! I just wanted ti know if this is typical online dating behavior. I am new at this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Got played?? Getting played is where you develop feelings for a guy. You finally have sex with him after say 1-3 dates and he never speaks to you again.

+1

This is ridicules.

[Anonymous]

It's possible that there was a glitch in the system, or that this particular post was a fake designed to get you more invested in OK Cupid. That stuff can happen with online dating sites.

You've only been on a week. Drop this one and move on and talk to some more folks. It generally takes some time to find someone great online. (but many of my friends have.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the replies. Yes i am really 40! I just wanted ti know if this is typical online dating behavior. I am new at this.

Just go ahead and delete your profile.....

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, I replied a couple times on the other thread. But this scenario happened to me a few times.

One guy was single, but looked nothing like the profile picture. That was not a model, just an attractive guy. Profile was normal enough for me to reply. We emailed back and forth and then he surprised me with the real pictures. Not attractive to me and I'm not up for liars. It said he had no confidence to me, was hiding something, had already taken advantage of this random woman on the internet, etc., etc. I told him no thanks and he pursued and pursued. Turns out he want to hook up (I assume maybe he was married) and wanted me to sit on his face. So yeah, no.

I also had a married guy ask if I would hook up and said his wife was ok with it. I think that happened 2x actually. I had another guy who I IM'd with several times, turned out to be a whack job and I can't believe I spent any time talking to him b/c I don't think he wanted to actually go out on a date ever. But that was my fault, not his and lesson learned.

Yes, I think there are lots of weirdos, players and everyone else online. There are also lots of nice, normal people like you. I figured out the online dating thing on my own -- and there were some ups and downs. Rather than saying you are immature, I think you're smart to ask questions. You are certainly getting the answers here. I've always been naive when it comes to relationships, even though I am not like that in other areas. I'll cut you some slack!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, I replied a couple times on the other thread. But this scenario happened to me a few times.

One guy was single, but looked nothing like the profile picture. That was not a model, just an attractive guy. Profile was normal enough for me to reply. We emailed back and forth and then he surprised me with the real pictures. Not attractive to me and I'm not up for liars. It said he had no confidence to me, was hiding something, had already taken advantage of this random woman on the internet, etc., etc. I told him no thanks and he pursued and pursued. Turns out he want to hook up (I assume maybe he was married) and wanted me to sit on his face. So yeah, no.

I also had a married guy ask if I would hook up and said his wife was ok with it. I think that happened 2x actually. I had another guy who I IM'd with several times, turned out to be a whack job and I can't believe I spent any time talking to him b/c I don't think he wanted to actually go out on a date ever. But that was my fault, not his and lesson learned.

Yes, I think there are lots of weirdos, players and everyone else online. There are also lots of nice, normal people like you. I figured out the online dating thing on my own -- and there were some ups and downs. Rather than saying you are immature, I think you're smart to ask questions. You are certainly getting the answers here. I've always been naive when it comes to relationships, even though I am not like that in other areas. I'll cut you some slack!

+1 - and I'm a divorced guy and can confirm even for men using online dating, there are nut jobs and weirdos out there.

I posted on your other thread - there are really good guys out there - just sometimes it takes some work to find them. so think about your search criteria/filter. you may be setting things too narrowly that you miss out on a lot of great potential guys.

just stay strong, tread carefully and most of all, have fun and be safe.

[Anonymous]

Thanks to the previous two PPs! Your advice and support is greatly appreciated! One question: I have sent a few emails and out of those I sent (around 8 or 9) I have received two replies back. It seems though that I wait awhile to receive a reply. It appears that this is like a game. If someone were to send me a message and I open it and like it I would respond as soon as I could without thinking about it. The replies I have received are a day or two later. Also, I notice that men I have written emails to - but who have not replied back to me - still keep checking out my profile every day. Is this normal? To the pp above: how long did it take you to reply to an email from someone you were interested in? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to the previous two PPs! Your advice and support is greatly appreciated! One question: I have sent a few emails and out of those I sent (around 8 or 9) I have received two replies back. It seems though that I wait awhile to receive a reply. It appears that this is like a game. If someone were to send me a message and I open it and like it I would respond as soon as I could without thinking about it. The replies I have received are a day or two later. Also, I notice that men I have written emails to - but who have not replied back to me - still keep checking out my profile every day. Is this normal? To the pp above: how long did it take you to reply to an email from someone you were interested in? Thanks!

PP divorced guy.

So a couple of things - the guys who keep checking your profile but don't respond, these are not the guys you want to date. Put them in the rear view mirror and forget them.

If you've sent out emails and guys haven't responded, don't worry about it. You do need to grow some thick skin and online dating requires some degree of stamina. Any real guy worth his salt will respond to a woman he finds attractive (and that's VERY subjective and dependent on the individual). Don't get down or worry too much if these guys don't respond.

If a woman contacted me and I liked her profile (I actually read them) and how/what she said, I'll respond as soon as I log into the site - but I'm not on the site everyday. If a woman I've contacted doesn't get back to me but looks at my profile, I don't worry about it.

But here's the most important thing - you need to find your inner confidence. I know I have a great life and even as a single dad I offer a hell of a lot. So any woman who doesn't want to date a single dad or a guy who isn't white, that's on her, not me. In real life I get checked out and approached quite a bit so I know I've got the goods. So just play it cool, be selective and you'll connect with someone.

The woman I'm currently kinda seeing approached me and even admitted I'm the first no white guy she's ever dated or gone out with. Her words - we have crazy chemistry and a strong mutual attraction among many other thongs in common. The point is, cast a wide enough net.