The Ex is crazy and is driving us completely apart!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here it goes. Recently moved in with bf after several months of dating, we both have children from previous relationships. He had not told the ex that we were in a relationship before moving in and then she finds out through the kids that we moved in together, hell broke loose. Now she claims to be pregnant with his child, math would make it that she's due in the next couple of months, since they fooled around before we began dating, . She calls him crying asking him to take her back, he keeps taking her calls and i've told him how i feel disrespected. He keeps turning it back on him saying how do i think he feels going through all of this. I've hit my breaking point, but we literally just moved in and signed a 12 month lease, where do we even go from here, neither of us could afford this home on our own. I walked in on a conversation he was having with her and i just lost it and told him lets tell her the truth about it all, and obviously she heard the converstion and now claims she's not letting the kids come over until there's a home study because we have problems in the home. He's staying in the basement in the meantime, claims we are done because i walked in on the conversation and blew up. I've told him how I felt and how this whole situation is making me act out of my character and how am i supposed to react. I don't know which direction to go to, he basically says i fucked it all up and that bc of my feelings he has his back against the wall concerning his kids, that i've brought more harm to the situation than help or assitance, unnecessary harm he calls it. I am just lost in what direction I am supposed to go in, any advice is greatly appreciated.

My math tells me, you met him, barely knew him and decided to shack up with him.

Anyone who uses the phrase "he disrespected me", instantly makes me roll my eyes.

If you couldn't afford the rent, you shouldn't have moved in. You don't have a permanent relationship and either of you could have been left with having to pay the remainder of the lease.

Grow up. Be an adult. Don't subject your kids to this kind of nonsense so they don't grow up believing this is a good way to live.

+1000

[Anonymous]

The Ex is perfectly right that planned life changes, such as moving in with someone, should be disclosed in advance.

Unfortunately, this situation comes from poor judgement on their part (fooling around) and yours (not waiting to stabilize a relationship before moving in).

Stop blaming each other and start afresh.

[Anonymous]

You need to put your children first, as does your ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the last post, I was single for 2 years before getting into this serious relationship, prior to that I was with the father of my child for over 7 years, so please do not judge without knowing.

What we are "judging" (as if that is so bad) is not what you have done in the past, but what you are DOING here. And what you are doing here is stupid, stupid, stupid. Not to mention, HORRIBLE for your kids (and his) to witness.

[Anonymous]

Figure out how to get out of the lease. Let him get back with his ex. They have two kids and one on the way. He still cares for her.

[Anonymous]

My child is not involved, unfortunately she has been talking negatively about me to their children in which turn they have told him how she hates me. My child is not exposed to any of this. Protecting my child has and will always be my number one priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is not involved, unfortunately she has been talking negatively about me to their children in which turn they have told him how she hates me. My child is not exposed to any of this. Protecting my child has and will always be my number one priority.

Your child is not exposed to any of this? OP, how many other delusions are you going to let yourself believe?

[Anonymous]

? My child has not witnessed any negative interactions so yes my statement is accurate. Our disagreement has not taken place in front of anyone but ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:? My child has not witnessed any negative interactions so yes my statement is accurate. Our disagreement has not taken place in front of anyone but ourselves.

Your child is now living in a home with a man you barely know who has children with another woman and is apparently expecting another. Your child's mother has entered into a contract with a man she barely knows and will probably face movingC emotional upheaval, confusion, and instability as a result.

You have involved your child in a hot mess and need to stop blaming the ex. This is your fault.

(and usually I love piling onto exes!)

[Anonymous]

I did not move in with someone i do not know, we have spent every day together for the last 7 months, he has been around my family and vice versa, if he was not someone i trusted i would have never moved in. It is my fault for how I am reacting to the situation yes, however who is to ever expect or prepare themselves for the reactions of someone else, who would have predicted how she would have acted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did not move in with someone i do not know, we have spent every day together for the last 7 months, he has been around my family and vice versa, if he was not someone i trusted i would have never moved in. It is my fault for how I am reacting to the situation yes, however who is to ever expect or prepare themselves for the reactions of someone else, who would have predicted how she would have acted?

OP, you are not getting this. I'm going to try one more time.

You put yourself and your child into a situation that just about anyone could have seen from the beginning was doomed to fail. You are not married, nor in a commited relationship. Shacking up with someone does not make for a commitment. From your other statements, I gather that you were not married to your child's father, either, so now we have a little girl (?) who sees her mother bounce from one man to another without any semblance of legality, permanancy or true obligation involved in the equation.

You are making decisions and reacting to other people's actions with immaturity and emotion, rather than sense and logic. You picked a man who obviously operates in the same me-first way of thinking.

And to your question, how could anyone have predicted how the pregnant ex of a man would act when she found out that she was deceived by him -- well, most people with any sense could have.

[Anonymous]

Oddly enough the pregnancy topic was never even raised by her until after finding out of our move in. so this information was not known to us until now, needless to say shocking to everyone, who hides being pregnant for this long? Whether its a game in her part of whether it's true I am yet to find out. But one thing i know i do know i not want to be involved in these games and manipulations ploys. As much as i love him, the well being of my child and my own is the most important. I did not write on here without knowing the negative feedback i would get, i wrote on here because i know how much easier is it to read a non bias opinion and actually focus on what it is all about, rather than getting wrapped up in feeling sorry about myself or throwing a pitty party for me. I am extremely smart, self made, independent woman, i've made mistakes, sure, who hasn't? show me someone who is perfect, if there weren't issue going on in peoples lives, forums like these would not exist.

[Anonymous]

1. Your boyfriend MUST get a paternity test.

2. You must not live with him and his family while this gets sorted out, and since you have ALL behaved outrageously by hiding important information from each other (pregnancy, moving in, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is not involved, unfortunately she has been talking negatively about me to their children in which turn they have told him how she hates me. My child is not exposed to any of this. Protecting my child has and will always be my number one priority.

WTF your child LIVES with you and this guy and his kids.
And it is not a stable relationship. If you can't see that then there is nothing we can do or say to help you.
The problem is not the ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is not involved, unfortunately she has been talking negatively about me to their children in which turn they have told him how she hates me. My child is not exposed to any of this. Protecting my child has and will always be my number one priority.

WTF your child LIVES with you and this guy and his kids.
And it is not a stable relationship. If you can't see that then there is nothing we can do or say to help you.
The problem is not the ex.

Read between the lines. She's not a custodial parent.