Response to gift - what to do?

[Anonymous]

Is it your brother's wife or DH's sister? If the latter, turn it over to him.

[Anonymous]

Just snap a pic of it and text it to her with a brief message. Done. Two minutes of your life tops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did anyone else have to look up perseverated?

Didn't look it up, but I've never heard it before.

I think she means procrastinated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did anyone else have to look up perseverated?

Didn't look it up, but I've never heard it before.

I think she means procrastinated.

No, thinking, thinking, overthinking, on and on, and past the birthday.

[Anonymous]

My mother does this too. I thnk it is attention-getting and wanting to be appreciated. What drives me crazy is that she wants to know the exact day the package arrives . It's an OCD behavior trait left over from the depression but at least she cares. My MIL doesn't send anything to the kids.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's that people don't know what to get, do the best they can, but are really anxious to know that they got something acceptable, because after all, it's their hard earned money they're spending.

If receiving a gift is such a chore, then next year make it clear long before the birthday "no gifts necessary" and use some excuse like not enough space in the house or you'd rather just plan a dinner together.

Otherwise, just send the woman a text or an email and don't be so ungrateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's that people don't know what to get, do the best they can, but are really anxious to know that they got something acceptable, because after all, it's their hard earned money they're spending.

If receiving a gift is such a chore, then next year make it clear long before the birthday "no gifts necessary" and use some excuse like not enough space in the house or you'd rather just plan a dinner together.

Otherwise, just send the woman a text or an email and don't be so ungrateful.

Feeling the pressure of multiple checkins and needing to respond RIGHT NOW BEFORE I FREAK OUT is definitely not the same thing as being ungrateful for having been thought of and having received a gift. Gifts with strings (whether emotional or otherwise) are not the same as just plain gifts. Sending a gracious thank you in a timely manner is just not enough for the impatient gifter - they want to know NOW NOW NOW and anything less is taken as a slight. There is a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's that people don't know what to get, do the best they can, but are really anxious to know that they got something acceptable, because after all, it's their hard earned money they're spending.

If receiving a gift is such a chore, then next year make it clear long before the birthday "no gifts necessary" and use some excuse like not enough space in the house or you'd rather just plan a dinner together.

Otherwise, just send the woman a text or an email and don't be so ungrateful.

Feeling the pressure of multiple checkins and needing to respond RIGHT NOW BEFORE I FREAK OUT is definitely not the same thing as being ungrateful for having been thought of and having received a gift. Gifts with strings (whether emotional or otherwise) are not the same as just plain gifts. Sending a gracious thank you in a timely manner is just not enough for the impatient gifter - they want to know NOW NOW NOW and anything less is taken as a slight. There is a difference.

+1
and clearly you have never requested no gifts from family before. it doesn't necessarily go over so well.

[Anonymous]

OP here - I specifically said not to send a gift. SIL insisted on one. Then perseverated (not procrastinated) on what to buy for the past 4 weeks and now wants an instant response. And I'm certain she wants a picture of. 6 yr old flipping through this fashion magazine. Argh. Gotta go snap the pic and send.

Truly, it's not about the gift or even the need for photographic proof that it arrived, but about the constant barrage of emails and texts and "reminder" calls - all for a ridiculous gift that's totally unnecessary - and not quite age appropriate.

And don't get me wrong - I'd love to hear from SIL - about her life or job or whatever, but, please, for the love of god, I don't want to discuss the present for the twentieth time!

[Anonymous]

It sounds OCD to me. Just snap a picture and send it to her. Hopefully that'll be the end of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's that people don't know what to get, do the best they can, but are really anxious to know that they got something acceptable, because after all, it's their hard earned money they're spending.

If receiving a gift is such a chore, then next year make it clear long before the birthday "no gifts necessary" and use some excuse like not enough space in the house or you'd rather just plan a dinner together.

Otherwise, just send the woman a text or an email and don't be so ungrateful.

Feeling the pressure of multiple checkins and needing to respond RIGHT NOW BEFORE I FREAK OUT is definitely not the same thing as being ungrateful for having been thought of and having received a gift. Gifts with strings (whether emotional or otherwise) are not the same as just plain gifts. Sending a gracious thank you in a timely manner is just not enough for the impatient gifter - they want to know NOW NOW NOW and anything less is taken as a slight. There is a difference.

+1
PP must be one of the posters who argues that people should be grateful when anonymous neighbours drop soiled hand me downs on someone's doorstep.

[Anonymous]

Send the picture and don't engage her any further after that. She sounds needy and annoying.

[Anonymous]

I have a SIL exactly like this -- her texting and requests for pictures are excessive and unreasonable. I rarely respond and let her go to my husband and he can deal with her if he wants. (He usually does -- even going so far as putting her on Facetime to watch the kids open her gifts that are ALWAYS for a much older child.) I really adore her and she's a great aunt, and I love spending time with her in person. But I just don't have time to be obsessing over text messages about every little thing.

[Anonymous]

My SIL is like this too. She's also on anxiety meds. Just ignore her texts.

[Anonymous]

OP bumping this back up. SIL has now sent three texts, 2 emails, and 1 call (all since 10pm last night) to ask if we got the latest installment on friday b/c she has been following the tracking. well, we did, but haven't opened it yet. so, she sent another snarky email saying that if it wasn't worth it to us, she wants to cancel b/c it costs money every month we keep it. Contrary to her telling me it is a 1 year subscription with a single payment, but whatever,

Just annoyed that this is continuing and continuing.