Cannot stand sister-in-law. Seeing her tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to punch yourself in the face.

How your sil spends her money is her issue. Not yours. Mind your own business.

If your sil made your wife feel worse, that is your business and you should have said something.

Grow small balls and start realizing what should and should not concern you as your wife's husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to punch yourself in the face.

How your sil spends her money is her issue. Not yours. Mind your own business.

If your sil made your wife feel worse, that is your business and you should have said something.

Grow small balls and start realizing what should and should not concern you as your wife's husband.

Lol- grow some - not small - balls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a girl trying to pass herself off as a guy.

I completely agree. So many linguistic tells. No way a male wrote this.

[Anonymous]

Petty stuff except for your DW depression.

You need to let go. Life is short.

[Anonymous]

Instead of being angry with her about how she spends money, feel sorry for her. We all know that over shopping does not fill you up. It makes you feel empty inside. These are life lessons people learn on their own. Holidays can be tough.

[Anonymous]

So she - married a successful guy and gave you nice gifts?
Boo hoo.
Agree this doesn't sound like a guy writing.

[Anonymous]

I think the OP is trying to find specific reasons to despise someone who does nothing more than grate on his nerves. If the wife was already depressed, talking to her sister certainly helped and what they discussed is their business.

Many more people have real gripes with their in-laws, not this petty stuff. Example: when we visited my sister and brother-in-law last year he told us off for a stray comment he misinterpreted and told my husband he never wanted to see him again. Now I can't visit my sister again with my family.

So, your concerns are much easier to deal with, just suck it up, and think of ways to avoid her. Be glad that your wife has a sister she loves, and indulge your wife in this.

[Anonymous]

Your SIL might be lonely. Try to have compassion for her and also avoid her when you feel oppressed by her, like excuse yourself politely from the room sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Because buying 2000 diaper bags just sounds like a cry for help.

[Anonymous]

2000 dollar diaper bags, that is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a girl trying to pass herself off as a guy.

I completely agree. So many linguistic tells. No way a male wrote this.

I was thinking this too. These just aren't the kinds of things men notice or complain about.

[Anonymous]

AroundTheBlock wrote:
I hate it and I come from a very wealthy family. But, we are grounded so to speak.

Yes, that's $2000. Hell, that's half my mortgage.

It's not that we can't afford the same, it's just you don't waste money like that.

even though I'm in the top 5% I don't waste money.

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a girl trying to pass herself off as a guy.

I completely agree. So many linguistic tells. No way a male wrote this.

I was thinking this too. These just aren't the kinds of things men notice or complain about.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your SIL might be lonely. Try to have compassion for her and also avoid her when you feel oppressed by her, like excuse yourself politely from the room sometimes.

This, OP, this. But I don't see any ability for compassion in your post.

You hate her for the huge sin of...not being you.

Know how to send a wife into depression? Focus on petty stuff and obsess over your SIL. Keep score constantly. Expend far, far too much mental energy and take up to much of your own mental real estate with cataloguing everything about SIL that annoys you. That's a great way to waste your brain cells, waste your time and, yes, make your wife hate you too.

OP, get help and find out why you are so focused on all this. You seem to expect SIL to be your perfect self and help you precisely how you want to be helped. You know from experience she won't do that, so why bother with all the anger? Granted she's annoying. But you are not married to her. So why does she suck up so much of your mental energy?

[Anonymous]

AroundTheBlock wrote:After the birth of our baby my wife went into deep postpartum depression. I ended up taking six weeks of leave from work and staying home. I was basically a single father for the entire time. I slept with our baby, fed my wife, etc. I did everything because she was just completely out of it. Her sister gave her some really bad advice which made me very angry, enough to almost call her sister and bitch her out on the phone. It really bugs me when people try to give advice when they're not in the picture or have any idea of what's going on. But, due to her sister's stupid advice my wife went into worse depression.

When my husband had cancer, my inlaws found a friend of theirs who had a totally different type of cancer. My husband's cancer was thought to be really curable at the time (turns out that it was more serious than we thought, but he pulled through nevertheless).

His parent's friend told him that (1) we were likely to divorce and so my husband shouldn't count on me since his relationship ended when he was diagnosed with cancer (2) he should prepare himself emotionally for death (3) No one will understand him, so just deal with this on your own.

My husband's parents then agreed with all of this. I should mention that my husband was 28 years old at the time.

I totally understand why you will never forgive/forget the stuff your SIL said to your wife. I chose to forgive my inlaws, but I have never forgotten their stupid comments. They've done so many more awful things to me and my husband since, not because they're mean or horrible but because they're incredibly, incredibly stupid. Your SIL sounds a lot like them.

I think your best to move on from this, but um, remember it always since it's so indicative of SIL's poor character. And I wouldn't try to tell SIL how stupid her comments were. I was naive at the time and actually called my inlaws to tell them that their son needed encouragement, not some depressed person telling them his version of events, especially at the start of some awful chemotherapy. They sincerely were surprised that I wasn't grateful! It was pointless and got me more pissed off. And your wife will probably forgive her sister and downplay the comments, just like my husband forgave his parents.

I'm sorry for all you went through. If it helps, I sometimes play emotional bingo with myself (more fun if you can play with others). I will list off a bunch of things I KNOW my inlaws will do, and when I reach 5 I privately celebrate. (1) say something dumb about our kids (2) say something dumb about my husband's health (3) demand more grandchildren (4) give horrible advice (5) Lie.... BINGO!

Best of luck