What Should I Do?

[Anonymous]

Are you out of your mind?

Break things off with this guy and change the locks.

[Anonymous]

Too many yellow flags here:
1) Please verify his arrest/restraining order record. Some women *are* liars like that.
2) An ex can make it harder for Dad to see the kids but can't make it impossible. We're getting into the realm of "she'd have to pay lawyer fees for both parties here."
3) Very soon after your divorce but if you're more than a year past separation, then meh, I'm not going to add to the Greek chorus here.
4) You'd think after one or two incidents where "he was drinking, she wasn't, she called and claimed she was hit," he'd stop drinking around her.

I'd at a minimum do these:
1) Verify his stories.
2) Consult with a lawyer and a victim's rights group to know your rights and know the warning signs of domestic abuse.
3) Have your friends and family meet this guy. If one out of ten people dislike him, big deal. If the opinion is nearly universally against him, PLEASE consider that.

[Anonymous]

Red flag is that this is another troll post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Red flag is that this is another troll post.

I have to agree. Too ridiculous to be anything else.

[Anonymous]

At 18 I went on a date with a guy with a felony assault record to which he also admitted on the first date. He was so sexy, but even at 18 I knew that was a bad idea and never saw him again even though he called me constantly.

You're telling me you're a fully grown woman with two kids that doesn't know better????

[Anonymous]

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

I wouldn't date a guy who called the mother of his children a bitch, much less someone involved in domestic violence.

Case search Maryland. Or your state. Look him up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

I wouldn't date a guy who called the mother of his children a bitch, much less someone involved in domestic violence.

Case search Maryland. Or your state. Look him up.

So true Dr. Phil.

I would give him a chance though.

He could be right. The fact that he brought it up on his own is a sign of integrity. Most men wouldn't have told you on their own accord.

Just proceed with caution. While his ex could be a bitch, he also could be at fault too.

It wouldn't be a deal breaker however.

[Anonymous]

If you insist on continuing to think with your coochie and dating him, then have him investigated - too much at stake here. Not just your safety, but the well-being of your children, too. I tend to agree this is fake because it's so far-fetched. But if you 're looking for real advice, OP, I would walk away and never look back - it's a no brainer, FFS.

[Anonymous]

You have kids. Is it worth the risk? Hell no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fake.

Agree.

Admit the truth and we'll tell you what gave you away - help you improve for next time.

[Anonymous]

OP Here.

So far...So good.

Things are moving pretty fast, I admit. Had him here for dinner tonight to meet my children, though no hand holding, kissing, touching, etc. in front of the kids.

Everything is falling into place and it worries me to a point. Seems too good to be true.

He really is a great guy. I have a reason to get up every day now. He is someone I can confide all of my problems to about my ex and he is very understanding of my situation. He even ended one of our phone calls with a "love you" last night, and while I didn't say it back, I can totally see myself falling for this guy in the same way.

We totally relate to each other and are so comfortable with each other. I have never felt this comfortable with another man this early in a relationship. He is so down to earth and easygoing.

I know the arrests for DV are a red flag and all and for now, I am just going to take his word that his ex did him dirty. He did admit the judge gave him anger management courses for a yr., but he never was convicted of anything. He did complete his courses so he is clean now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here.

So far...So good.

Things are moving pretty fast, I admit. Had him here for dinner tonight to meet my children, though no hand holding, kissing, touching, etc. in front of the kids.

Everything is falling into place and it worries me to a point. Seems too good to be true.

He really is a great guy. I have a reason to get up every day now. He is someone I can confide all of my problems to about my ex and he is very understanding of my situation. He even ended one of our phone calls with a "love you" last night, and while I didn't say it back, I can totally see myself falling for this guy in the same way.

We totally relate to each other and are so comfortable with each other. I have never felt this comfortable with another man this early in a relationship. He is so down to earth and easygoing.

I know the arrests for DV are a red flag and all and for now, I am just going to take his word that his ex did him dirty. He did admit the judge gave him anger management

courses for a yr., but he never was convicted of anything. He did complete his courses so he is clean now.

SUCKER!!!

[Anonymous]

You do have something to live for - your KIDS.
This has to be fake, I'm convinced of it now.
If it isn't you are seriously screwed up.
Stop wasting our time with your creative writing project.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do have something to live for - your KIDS.
This has to be fake, I'm convinced of it now.
If it isn't you are seriously screwed up.
Stop wasting our time with your creative writing project.

And you BOTH have red flags all over you - get some therapy!

[Anonymous]

Is this the same poster who frequently posts these very long OPs that end in terrible red flags and asks for advice?