Please help us....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop living at her place. You are putting yourself out driving back and forth each day and she can't even handle you doing laundry there. Doing laundry at the place you live 6 nights a week shouldn't be something someone gets upset over.

I kind of think you are being taken advantage of. The only person putting themselves out or inconveniencing themselves is you.

She sounds like a control freak and like a bit of a user - she ants your there for her own needs but when it is something for you, she gets mad. I would start asking her to stay at your place half the time and see if she is willing to inconvenience yourself for you.

Personally if this is how she acts and treats you, do you really want a future with her?

Exactly what I was thinking. Red flags here.
Have you asked her to spend some nights at your place so you're not constantly driving back and forth?
If so, how did she react?

[Anonymous]

We did talk, the tried to explain her feelings which honestly didn't make sense to me. She doesn't do laundry when I'm there, but instead when I see my kids on the weekends. And she says because I can work from home and can do laundry at my own place during the day, (which she can't do because she works full time) she doesn't feel right about it.

[Anonymous]

She is inconsiderate. End of story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did talk, the tried to explain her feelings which honestly didn't make sense to me. She doesn't do laundry when I'm there, but instead when I see my kids on the weekends. And she says because I can work from home and can do laundry at my own place during the day, (which she can't do because she works full time) she doesn't feel right about it.

Geez. She sounds like a piece of work - very self-centered.
Again - how would she react if you spent less time there?
I agree with PP that you need to set up some boundaries early on or this is just the very tip of the iceberg.

[Anonymous]

This girl needs to grow up and not be so selfish. You WORK from home. If she thinks you are sitting around watching Springer and doing laundry all day she is sadly mistaken. I agree with PPs - think seriously about what a future with this woman would be like. And, if she is this petty about laundry, how would she be as a potential part of your children's lives?

[Anonymous]

If an issue like where you do your laundry gets catapulted to the point you have to ask for advice on a public forum on how to resolve, your relationship is doomed. You both truly must not be compatible and do not understand how to resolve conflicts with one another. You are not married so the simple answer is she will make you miserable over the long haul. Break up with her and move on with life.

[Anonymous]

But OP, she said you should do the wash at her house one time. Were you to assume that it was only okay that one time? That any other time, it would not be okay?

[Anonymous]

I have to agree with everyone else -- and I like my stuff the way I like it (meaning, I can be particular). I don't see this as an issue and am having a hard time understanding what her point is. Especially after she offered another time a few days earlier. This is weird to me.

Is there some underlying tension about spending so much time at her place? I cannot imagine feeling put out like she does if my BF were making all of the effort and essentially accommodating my desire to be at my place every night.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't sound like a great relationship to me - lots more going on that just laundry, but that's indicative of serious misalignment and issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did talk, the tried to explain her feelings which honestly didn't make sense to me. She doesn't do laundry when I'm there, but instead when I see my kids on the weekends. And she says because I can work from home and can do laundry at my own place during the day, (which she can't do because she works full time) she doesn't feel right about it.

I think she expected you to get laundry out of the way so that you could see each other as usual. She helped you out once, thinking you were in a bind, but expected you to plan better next time and do laundry "not on her time".
I am not saying she is right, just trying to understand her logic.

[Anonymous]

I'm at candy crush level 373 and I knock off work around 4 on occasion to drink with guy friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm at candy crush level 373 and I knock off work around 4 on occasion to drink with guy friends

Huh?

[Anonymous]

Meaning I don't exactly work a full day. She knows this

[Anonymous]

I would be done in a dating relationship if laundry was ever an issue. How would one even know what to argue about? Seriously.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she thinks you have a pretty easy job, then you go out with your friends for a beer, then you save your dirty laundry for the nights with her. The score keeping has already started and you are not married yet. Does she think you have it easier than her?