Attention people with furloughed spouses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the furloughed spouse.

My H is excepted.

I am starting to feel taken advantage of since he leaves his dirty dishes on the counter every morning when he walks out the door, won't clean the dirty dishes after I make dinner (which has always been our deal, always, whomever doesn't cook cleans), and has stopped taking out the trash.

I'm now home and caring all day for our 3 year old. I'm so irritated that he thinks I should just do everything.

Furloughed fed here, and if you have more free time, you take on more chores. Your H should be appreciative, but yes, you should still be picking up more slack. And what did you do for child care when you were working, and why aren't you doing it now?

Our childcare is in my office. It's closed. So I am taking on all day childcare, something I never intended to do. I think that's enough of a chore in addition to having taken on all the laundry, cleaning, and yard work. He's still getting home and leaving at the same time, exactly how does that impact his ability to do the g-d dishes, that he has always done? Since I did all our normal chores during the week, he sat on his ass and played video games while the 3 year old napped today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the furloughed spouse.

My H is excepted.

I am starting to feel taken advantage of since he leaves his dirty dishes on the counter every morning when he walks out the door, won't clean the dirty dishes after I make dinner (which has always been our deal, always, whomever doesn't cook cleans), and has stopped taking out the trash.

I'm now home and caring all day for our 3 year old. I'm so irritated that he thinks I should just do everything.

Furloughed fed here, and if you have more free time, you take on more chores. Your H should be appreciative, but yes, you should still be picking up more slack. And what did you do for child care when you were working, and why aren't you doing it now?

Our childcare is in my office. It's closed. So I am taking on all day childcare, something I never intended to do. I think that's enough of a chore in addition to having taken on all the laundry, cleaning, and yard work. He's still getting home and leaving at the same time, exactly howling does that impact his ability to do the g-d dishes, that he has always done? Since I did all our normal chores during the week, he sat on his ass and played video games while the 3 year old napped today.

You cant watch a 3 yr old and complete other tasks? Sad

[Anonymous]

However the spouse is dealing, he/she is dealing. I'd give them a wide berth -expecting less of them at home, not more of them, even though they are home. Let things slide a bit - dishes, chores -these things really aren't very important. Heck, my furloughed fed has been sitting on the couch ~ he's watched 5 seasons of Breaking Bad. Some people are better handling stress than others, and in different ways. Now is not the time to be bossy about how they should deal with their stress. For yourself, get out of the house, don't be available if the house is a stressful environment. I would leave them alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the furloughed spouse.

My H is excepted.

I am starting to feel taken advantage of since he leaves his dirty dishes on the counter every morning when he walks out the door, won't clean the dirty dishes after I make dinner (which has always been our deal, always, whomever doesn't cook cleans), and has stopped taking out the trash.

I'm now home and caring all day for our 3 year old. I'm so irritated that he thinks I should just do everything.

Furloughed fed here, and if you have more free time, you take on more chores. Your H should be appreciative, but yes, you should still be picking up more slack. And what did you do for child care when you were working, and why aren't you doing it now?

Our childcare is in my office. It's closed. So I am taking on all day childcare, something I never intended to do. I think that's enough of a chore in addition to having taken on all the laundry, cleaning, and yard work. He's still getting home and leaving at the same time, exactly howling does that impact his ability to do the g-d dishes, that he has always done? Since I did all our normal chores during the week, he sat on his ass and played video games while the 3 year old napped today.

You cant watch a 3 yr old and complete other tasks? Sad

Wow, your reading comprehension sucks. I am now doing all our laundry, cleaning the house, and doing the yardwork.

And it's apparently too much to ask that my spouse puts his breakfast cereal bowl in the dishwasher, that I'm emptying all the time now, rather than leaving it on the table or the counter? I expect more of the 3 year old. She has to bring her dish to the dishwasher.

[Anonymous]

I am loving being able to leave earlier in the morning for work and getting a lot more done at work. Meanwhile, my furloughed dh gets to do all that i usually do in the morning: get both kids dressed, fed, lunches packed and out the door. When working, he leaves an hour earlier than us in the am and is of no help in the am.

He's been good about grocery shopping and laundry but when I mentioned that maybe he could do some of the house cleaning stuff I usually do on the weekends, he looked at me like I was crazy. Grr.

But, like others have said, he is very dispirited and rundown by all this. He is also really not looking forward to having to catch up on all the missed work.

[Anonymous]

I'm rethinking when I'll retire. Plan to spend as little time with selfish and lazy DH as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the furloughed spouse.

My H is excepted.

I am starting to feel taken advantage of since he leaves his dirty dishes on the counter every morning when he walks out the door, won't clean the dirty dishes after I make dinner (which has always been our deal, always, whomever doesn't cook cleans), and has stopped taking out the trash.

I'm now home and caring all day for our 3 year old. I'm so irritated that he thinks I should just do everything.

Furloughed fed here, and if you have more free time, you take on more chores. Your H should be appreciative, but yes, you should still be picking up more slack. And what did you do for child care when you were working, and why aren't you doing it now?

Our childcare is in my office. It's closed. So I am taking on all day childcare, something I never intended to do. I think that's enough of a chore in addition to having taken on all the laundry, cleaning, and yard work. He's still getting home and leaving at the same time, exactly howling does that impact his ability to do the g-d dishes, that he has always done? Since I did all our normal chores during the week, he sat on his ass and played video games while the 3 year old napped today.

You cant watch a 3 yr old and complete other tasks? Sad

Wow, your reading comprehension sucks. I am now doing all our laundry, cleaning the house, and doing the yardwork.

And it's apparently too much to ask that my spouse puts his breakfast cereal bowl in the dishwasher, that I'm emptying all the time now, rather than leaving it on the table or the counter? I expect more of the 3 year old. She has to bring her dish to the dishwasher.

Let that shit sit there on the counter. Tomorrow's bowl too. Let it pile up and then ask him to rinse his bowls and place them in the dishwasher when he gets a chance. And dont forget to say "please run the wash when youre done. Thanks hun."

[Anonymous]

Men need very specific instructions. cant expect them to know what you want. Learned this the hard way.

[Anonymous]

My DH is not essential so he is home but he is working away on all of our home improvement projects. He is loving this furlough, but if it lasts much longer, we will be broke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the furloughed spouse.

My H is excepted.

I am starting to feel taken advantage of since he leaves his dirty dishes on the counter every morning when he walks out the door, won't clean the dirty dishes after I make dinner (which has always been our deal, always, whomever doesn't cook cleans), and has stopped taking out the trash.

I'm now home and caring all day for our 3 year old. I'm so irritated that he thinks I should just do everything.

He did all this stuff pre-furlough? Not fair that he's mad and taking it out on you!!

[Anonymous]

I suppose it's stressful being on furlough, but as an essential worker who has to pull extra hours while everyone else is out, I am a bit annoyed that I don't get a similar paid vacation. We all know full well that in the end everyone will get paid - both the Republicans and President are on board, and the only reason the Senate didn't pass it was strategic, not because they don't support it.

I have the same financial pressure because I'm not getting paid, but I have to work 16-hour days, plus weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I work part time so it's not a big deal for me to make dinner. I just want the moping to stop!

OP you sound like a bitch. This is very depressing and tantamount to a termination worse it is without cause. I'm "essential" at this has depressed me.
How'd you like to come home one day and learn your youngest decided you needed to stop work but Dad is essential?
Doesn't feel nice does it?

[Anonymous]

21:28 this discussion is not about you.

[Anonymous]

My husband is a contractor so the stress of no pay is mounting. He is using vacation time to cover pay, benefits,etc. That runs out in another two weeks. We just had a baby and bought a car, so savings aren't quite back to where we'd like them. He has done some household chores but it's more like finding things for me to do. I'd love it if I could come home to dinner and folded laundry. Instead I get him watching MSNBC and Fox Business nonstop and a recycling bin full of beer bottles. I cannot wait for him to be working. I see how demoralizing it is for him, do I don't get too upset.

[Anonymous]

My DH became an alcoholic when he was laid off. His father fell into a deep depression and he is well off. Some people can't handle being out of work.