Attention people with furloughed spouses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the furloughed spouse.

My H is excepted.

I am starting to feel taken advantage of since he leaves his dirty dishes on the counter every morning when he walks out the door, won't clean the dirty dishes after I make dinner (which has always been our deal, always, whomever doesn't cook cleans), and has stopped taking out the trash.

I'm now home and caring all day for our 3 year old. I'm so irritated that he thinks I should just do everything.

Furloughed fed here, and if you have more free time, you take on more chores. Your H should be appreciative, but yes, you should still be picking up more slack. And what did you do for child care when you were working, and why aren't you doing it now?

Our childcare is in my office. It's closed. So I am taking on all day childcare, something I never intended to do. I think that's enough of a chore in addition to having taken on all the laundry, cleaning, and yard work. He's still getting home and leaving at the same time, exactly howling does that impact his ability to do the g-d dishes, that he has always done? Since I did all our normal chores during the week, he sat on his ass and played video games while the 3 year old napped today.

You cant watch a 3 yr old and complete other tasks? Sad

I would say "Exhibit B" but it's probably the same idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boohoo. contractors and local shop owners are the real victims, you will get back pay

Does typing the same thing on every thread get tiresome?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:21:28 this discussion is not about you.

Not about 21:30 either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:21:28 this discussion is not about you.

Not about 21:30 either.

Yeah I was thinking the same thing. I could not understand what 21:30 was expressing toward the end. Perhaps drinking away the stress?

[Anonymous]

At least it teaches you people what it's like to struggle sometimes....not everyones life is so laid out furloughed or not....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least it teaches you people what it's like to struggle sometimes....not everyones life is so laid out furloughed or not....

How do you know people who are furloughed have not struggled in life until now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least it teaches you people what it's like to struggle sometimes....not everyones life is so laid out furloughed or not....

Huh? Must we rank hardship? OP asked a reasonable question. It is hard to live with a depressed or mopey person. She asked about our experiences. She didn't say "nothing on this planet is as hard as having a spouse home."

I suppose I am one of "you people" since I am furloughed and a bit mopey. I already know plenty about struggle. Just because I haven't walked a mile in your shoes doesn't mean I have a great pair on my own feet. Not the question here, though.

[Anonymous]

I get that it sucks. The uncertainty and the devaluing of your life works is remarkably degrading. But the kids still need clean socks and when you agree to take care of it, I don't expect to be sniffing socks at 8!am trying to decide which are the least dirty because you are too depressed to do the laundry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My furloughed spouse is partying like a maniac.

Nice!! That's awesome

[Anonymous]

I'm a fed and have been working the whole time -- thanks to my agency being funded. During that time, I've had to take sick and annual leave, and am just as frazzled and busy as I always am. I'm having little sympathy for my friends who are all caught up...and we do know now, that furloughed employees are going to get paid. I understand feeling upset if you were fired and without work. But seriously? I don't think individuals should feel devalued compared to other working people. I think as federal employees whose jobs (and how well or poorly they are done) have nothing to do with this "partial shutdown," yeah, you have a right to feel upset. Just not in a tailspin at not being able to find work or being "unemployed." This is temporary, the jobs will still be there and they will get paid. I agree this has had lots of other consequences and those people (contractors, business owners, etc) have a right to be depressed. Totally beyond their control.

And I don't look at this on a scale of misery. Gov't jobs come with a lot of sacrifices and perks. That's life. I don't think it's a good reminder of struggle. That's an odd take on the situation, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a fed and have been working the whole time -- thanks to my agency being funded. During that time, I've had to take sick and annual leave, and am just as frazzled and busy as I always am. I'm having little sympathy for my friends who are all caught up...and we do know now, that furloughed employees are going to get paid. I understand feeling upset if you were fired and without work. But seriously? I don't think individuals should feel devalued compared to other working people. I think as federal employees whose jobs (and how well or poorly they are done) have nothing to do with this "partial shutdown," yeah, you have a right to feel upset. Just not in a tailspin at not being able to find work or being "unemployed." This is temporary, the jobs will still be there and they will get paid. I agree this has had lots of other consequences and those people (contractors, business owners, etc) have a right to be depressed. Totally beyond their control.

And I don't look at this on a scale of misery. Gov't jobs come with a lot of sacrifices and perks. That's life. I don't think it's a good reminder of struggle. That's an odd take on the situation, IMO.

Has it passed the Senate? Has the President signed it?

[Anonymous]

Well, I'll tell you that the shutdown has certainly made me think very hard about staying in my marriage to DW. I am an "excepted" employee. She is SAHM. She has been very unsupportive and even created more stress for me over the past two weeks. She picks all sorts of fights, and makes everything about her. We have been fighting a lot before the shutdown about her spending, and with the shutdown I got even more tight fisted. I figured out she can easily spend 2/3 less per month than she does, but she is royally bitching about it and today blew $100 on clothes she didn't need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My furloughed spouse is partying like a maniac.

Nice!! That's awesome

Yeah, he's totally Type B. Went through this in 1995-6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the furloughed spouse.

My H is excepted.

I am starting to feel taken advantage of since he leaves his dirty dishes on the counter every morning when he walks out the door, won't clean the dirty dishes after I make dinner (which has always been our deal, always, whomever doesn't cook cleans), and has stopped taking out the trash.

I'm now home and caring all day for our 3 year old. I'm so irritated that he thinks I should just do everything.

Furloughed fed here, and if you have more free time, you take on more chores. Your H should be appreciative, but yes, you should still be picking up more slack. And what did you do for child care when you were working, and why aren't you doing it now?

Our childcare is in my office. It's closed. So I am taking on all day childcare, something I never intended to do. I think that's enough of a chore in addition to having taken on all the laundry, cleaning, and yard work. He's still getting home and leaving at the same time, exactly howling does that impact his ability to do the g-d dishes, that he has always done? Since I did all our normal chores during the week, he sat on his ass and played video games while the 3 year old napped today.

You cant watch a 3 yr old and complete other tasks? Sad

Wow, your reading comprehension sucks. I am now doing all our laundry, cleaning the house, and doing the yardwork.

And it's apparently too much to ask that my spouse puts his breakfast cereal bowl in the dishwasher, that I'm emptying all the time now, rather than leaving it on the table or the counter? I expect more of the 3 year old. She has to bring her dish to the dishwasher.

I'm confused, how does it get done when you are working. If you are home, I'm not seeing what the big deal is. I worked full-time for years and stopped when our daughter was born. I do all those things but the yard work and would never think to care as I am home. You have one child. Its not that hard. If you do not do all day child care, then who cares for your kid on the weekends? Or, better question, why on earth did you have a kid?

[Anonymous]

I'm going to miss DH at home. We had fun together: Saw Gravity, went out to lunch, gym. I'm a SAHM so it was nice to have another adult around while kid is at school. Can't wait til he retires.