My stress level just skyrocketed making MIL's reservations for Thanksgiving

[Anonymous]

Next time book her a one way ticket somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Count your blessings. My MIL lives five minutes away.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Count your blessings. My MIL lives five minutes away.

My MIL stressed me out LESS when we lived 20 minutes away from them. Lunch for an hour or two was manageable. Multi day weekend visits and the scheduling it involves is actually worse. Not playing the one-upping game, but there are pros and cons to both. I bet your 5 minute away MIL never sleeps over.

It's different for us - seeing my MIL for a week a year is MUCH easier on me than not seeing her only 1 week a year. And yes, she sleeps over sometimes.

[Anonymous]

You are a saint, OP. There is no way I would allow anyone to be disrespectful to me in my own home, let alone let them stay there or pay their plane fare. DH would have to put her up in a hotel and visit her by himself. My BP went up just thinking about it. I hope you and your DH can change this situation so that you two and the kids can truly enjoy the holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Count your blessings. My MIL lives five minutes away.

My MIL stressed me out LESS when we lived 20 minutes away from them. Lunch for an hour or two was manageable. Multi day weekend visits and the scheduling it involves is actually worse. Not playing the one-upping game, but there are pros and cons to both. I bet your 5 minute away MIL never sleeps over.

It's different for us - seeing my MIL for a week a year is MUCH easier on me than not seeing her only 1 week a year. And yes, she sleeps over sometimes.

Wait until she gets older and DH is taking phone calls from her every day. My DH is over at his mom's right now for the third time dealing with her AV problems. Last week it was one of their cars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Count your blessings. My MIL lives five minutes away.

My MIL stressed me out LESS when we lived 20 minutes away from them. Lunch for an hour or two was manageable. Multi day weekend visits and the scheduling it involves is actually worse. Not playing the one-upping game, but there are pros and cons to both. I bet your 5 minute away MIL never sleeps over.

It's different for us - seeing my MIL for a week a year is MUCH easier on me than not seeing her only 1 week a year. And yes, she sleeps over sometimes.

Wait until she gets older and DH is taking phone calls from her every day. My DH is over at his mom's right now for the third time dealing with her AV problems. Last week it was one of their cars.

OP here. She calls daily to speak with DH. She NEVER asks to speak to her grandkids. She refers to them as "the babies". They are 6 and 9. My DS called her on it once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are a saint, OP. There is no way I would allow anyone to be disrespectful to me in my own home, let alone let them stay there or pay their plane fare. DH would have to put her up in a hotel and visit her by himself. My BP went up just thinking about it. I hope you and your DH can change this situation so that you two and the kids can truly enjoy the holidays.

OP here. No way will I play her plane fare. We did that ONCE and she decided not to come because her leg hurt or something. We were out the money (reinstating the tickets and paying the difference in fares would cost more than brand new tickets cost).

The holidays will not be enjoyable until the day she leaves. I just have to make it until then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Next time book her a one way ticket somewhere else.

Believe me, it's tempting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So... why are you having her over? Is this something your husband and yourself could get out of?

Nope, but I wish it was. DH becomes an ass when it comes to his mother. We see her, he changes and it takes a good couple of months to snap him out of being a complete jackass. Luckily he has figured out that I hate it when he acts like his mother and it stops pretty much when she leaves. Now, if I could just get him to stand up to his mother so her crap will stop......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So... why are you having her over? Is this something your husband and yourself could get out of?

Nope, but I wish it was. DH becomes an ass when it comes to his mother. We see her, he changes and it takes a good couple of months to snap him out of being a complete jackass. Luckily he has figured out that I hate it when he acts like his mother and it stops pretty much when she leaves. Now, if I could just get him to stand up to his mother so her crap will stop......

You actually do not have a MIL problem. You have a DH problem. Your DH should not tolerate anyone, even his own mother, calling you names or disrespecting you in his presence. You are married and any insult to you is an insult to him. You probably would not be stressed or hating your MIL in the first place if he set her straight in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So... why are you having her over? Is this something your husband and yourself could get out of?

Nope, but I wish it was. DH becomes an ass when it comes to his mother. We see her, he changes and it takes a good couple of months to snap him out of being a complete jackass. Luckily he has figured out that I hate it when he acts like his mother and it stops pretty much when she leaves. Now, if I could just get him to stand up to his mother so her crap will stop......

You actually do not have a MIL problem. You have a DH problem. Your DH should not tolerate anyone, even his own mother, calling you names or disrespecting you in his presence. You are married and any insult to you is an insult to him. You probably would not be stressed or hating your MIL in the first place if he set her straight in the first place.

Yes. This is true. Had I known this about him, I honestly probably would not have married him. My marriage would have ended long ago IF we lived near MIL. Right now DH and I are attempting to work through certain things (MIL issues are a big part of this--and how I'm treated and how DH reacts).