Childless aunt wonders: should I stop giving gifts to my nieces/nephews?

[Anonymous]

I don't get it....maybe because I don't have a sibling...
but I cannot imagine having neices and nephews and NEVER getting a thank you...and NEVER saying anything...
either to the kid or the parent...depending on the age of the kids...
Really?
Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way. Gift only to the birthday kid. Cut down to birthday and maybe Christmas with cards for other occasions. I also agree with the experiences idea: movies, ice cream shop, afternoon tea, etc.

+1

Kids have to learn that they need to wait their turn.

[Anonymous]

Just do Christmas and birthday, and definitely only to the birthday child. Your sister is rude, BTW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. On birthdays, is it ok for me to only send gifts to the kids whose birthday it is?

Um, yes. Of course.

In general, scale way back. Birthdays and Christmas would be it for me. Cards if you want on other occasions.

[Anonymous]

ONLY GIVE TO THE BIRTHDAY KID. YES I AM YELLING.

ASK THE PARENTS WHAT THE CHILD NEEDS. YES I AM YELLING.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm just curious. Are we talking about your sister's kids or a brother's kids or both? Just wondering if we're dealing with your sisters here, or sisters-in-law.

[Anonymous]

Op here.
Brother and sister.
Sister did tell child that she should not have complained.
I do often ask for suggestions.
I think I may start sending cards with ten dollars bills for Xmas and bday, unless anyone thinks that is a bad idea. Do not live in area with them, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.
Brother and sister.
Sister did tell child that she should not have complained.
I do often ask for suggestions.
I think I may start sending cards with ten dollars bills for Xmas and bday, unless anyone thinks that is a bad idea. Do not live in area with them, unfortunately.

You should only give what you feel comfortable with.
Only the birthday child gets a gift on their birthday, my SIL is a pain in the ass as an adult and always complains life isn't fair blah blah blah my in laws spoiled her and insisted she too get gifts on my husbands birthday- for the love of all do not help create another one of my SIL!

What are the kids ages now? Maybe we can help you with gift ideas if you don't want to send cash or a gift card for Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Agree birthday gift to birthday kid only. For things like Halloween and Easter, you could send a card and something small like fun stickers or pencils, but ONLY if you want to. It's shitty to put in the effort and spend the money and never be acknowledged. I wouldn't blame you if you stopped sending anything at all.

[Anonymous]

We had the same situation and we just stopped. I doubt they were even missed.

[Anonymous]

i would only give birthday and christmas gifts and only for the birthday child, not the siblings. if you are worried about excess and not being appreciated, ask if there is a college fund you can donate to instead. or if you can give experiences instead of just material gifts (tickets to something rather than a toy)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. On birthdays, is it ok for me to only send gifts to the kids whose birthday it is?

Whaaaaaaaat? Why would you send anything to the other kids?

Op here. Because in one of the families one time when I gave presents to just the birthday boy, his older sibling (6) got really upset and accused me of not giving her a present for her birthday (which was not true, I had given her one, but it was a few weeks late since I brought it in person). Her parents seem to think that you should give a big gift to the birthday boy and small ones to the other kids to stave off jealousy.

OMG these people sound super obnoxious. I could respect if they didn't want your gifts but were classy about it "Aunt Susie, the kids love having you celebrate their birthdays, but our house is full of stuff! If you'd like to give a gift, a special activity when you visit, or a nice card would be lovely in lieu of a physical present." But complaining to your face about it? Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. On birthdays, is it ok for me to only send gifts to the kids whose birthday it is?

Whaaaaaaaat? Why would you send anything to the other kids?

Op here. Because in one of the families one time when I gave presents to just the birthday boy, his older sibling (6) got really upset and accused me of not giving her a present for her birthday (which was not true, I had given her one, but it was a few weeks late since I brought it in person). Her parents seem to think that you should give a big gift to the birthday boy and small ones to the other kids to stave off jealousy.

FFS, is there no end to the entitlement mentality in this f'ing country!?

I'd cut back overall, they appear to be ingrates with bad manners. And heck no, no gift for the non b'day kid.

[Anonymous]

My son turned 4 last week, my only sister, who is also his godmother, didnt call him (or me to give him the phone), send a card or a gift. Nothing. she did update her fb status to say a generic "my nephew is 4, happy birthday" when he doesn't do fb because he is 4.

I would love to have you as my son's aunt.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a great Aunt, OP. I'm sorry your sibs don't acknowledge your efforts. Do what you feel comfortable with and stay within your budget. Your family is lucky to have you!