Praying in someone else's home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get tired of listening to Jesus get credit for the meal I just prepared. But since I don't believe, I just sit through the few seconds of talking to air.

If they insist on wearing shoes, however, I will explode.

+1

PP here.


Love it.

I'm using that one next time.

My grandmother used to spend all day cooking up holiday meals and years later I now realize we all had to thank Jesus but no one thanked HER for cooking all day.

[Anonymous]

I really don't think this is a big deal. When I opened the post, I thought this was going to be a thread started by a Muslim, perhaps, who was wondering how or where to pray 5x/day while visiting a non-Muslim's home!

[Anonymous]

If you aren't comfortable with grace, possibly pre-empt instead with a toast of some sort? Raise your glass and "Many thanks to you for sharing this meal with us. Enjoy!" Take a drink and begin your meal.

Yes, it doesn't take care of the God issue, but it satisfies that ritual element. People who truly want to say a blessing will take an extra moment of silence before their first bite, most likely.

We do say grace before meals, but I wouldn't presume to foist it on the entire table at someone else's house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you aren't comfortable with grace, possibly pre-empt instead with a toast of some sort? Raise your glass and "Many thanks to you for sharing this meal with us. Enjoy!" Take a drink and begin your meal.

Yes, it doesn't take care of the God issue, but it satisfies that ritual element. People who truly want to say a blessing will take an extra moment of silence before their first bite, most likely.

We do say grace before meals, but I wouldn't presume to foist it on the entire table at someone else's house.

Love this.

This is the OP here. I think those of you who are recommending that we sit through this aren't getting it -- we do not practice religion. I think the religion my inlaws practice is terrible to large groups of people -- women and gays most notably. I have NO PROBLEM with THEM saying their own grace to themselves (or out loud) but they should not EVER grab my hand or my son's hand and try to force us into praying to THEIR GOD. It's so entitled and rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you aren't comfortable with grace, possibly pre-empt instead with a toast of some sort? Raise your glass and "Many thanks to you for sharing this meal with us. Enjoy!" Take a drink and begin your meal.

Yes, it doesn't take care of the God issue, but it satisfies that ritual element. People who truly want to say a blessing will take an extra moment of silence before their first bite, most likely.

We do say grace before meals, but I wouldn't presume to foist it on the entire table at someone else's house.

Love this.

This is the OP here. I think those of you who are recommending that we sit through this aren't getting it -- we do not practice religion. I think the religion my inlaws practice is terrible to large groups of people -- women and gays most notably. I have NO PROBLEM with THEM saying their own grace to themselves (or out loud) but they should not EVER grab my hand or my son's hand and try to force us into praying to THEIR GOD. It's so entitled and rude.

OP... I think you are taking waayyyy more offense to this than you should be taking. No one can "force" anyone to pray. If that were true, then every time someone says grace in front of you, you would be outraged, and I don't think that is the case. If you don't want to pray, don't pray during those 30 seconds. Why not just defer to them as older people and teach dc to respect his elders? Your dc knows your beliefs, and maybe this is a good way to teach him about tolerance and openness, especially in your own home. I mean, everything you say about it being your house and your rules are true, but I think turning this into a battle, like the other pp said, is not worth it.

[Anonymous]

OP, it is not entitled and rude, especially since they are family.

It is old and ritualistic.

There is a certain level of politeness and graciousness in defering to and respecting the old folks, in things that mean a great deal to them and might be seen as odd, inconvenient, irrelevant to you.

When you are old, you will be in the same place the inlaws are now. Just let them do the prayer. They wil be fulfilling their tradition and feel that they are passing on important family rituals to their grandchildren. Your kids will probably not know what/why they are doing, but they will learn, in their home and through your modeling, how to be open, respectful and gracious to people who might believe differently than them. What a better place to learn that lesson than starting at the dinner table with their own family.

And you? You will be inconvenienced for about 30 seconds a week. Your husband? He won't have to be nagged at by his mom or put in the middle over something you said really doesn't matter to him.

If you fancy yourself liberal and open minded and accepting of differences, start these lessons in your own home with real life practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not just defer to them as older people and teach dc to respect his elders?

See, I think this concept of "respect someone because they are old" is bullshit. I respect someone because of how they act, how they treat others, etc. Age does not immediately confer this "respect" benefit you speak of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just defer to them as older people and teach dc to respect his elders?

See, I think this concept of "respect someone because they are old" is bullshit. I respect someone because of how they act, how they treat others, etc. Age does not immediately confer this "respect" benefit you speak of.

Ohh, OP, you have so many life lessons to learn, including good manners.

Beware of Karma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just defer to them as older people and teach dc to respect his elders?

See, I think this concept of "respect someone because they are old" is bullshit. I respect someone because of how they act, how they treat others, etc. Age does not immediately confer this "respect" benefit you speak of.

+1

Anne Frank had more wisdom at 13 than a lot of my elderly relatives did.

[Anonymous]

I would be extremely uncomfortable with my in laws doing that. My MIL is very Godly and prays all the time in silence, which, I believe, is how it should be.

[Anonymous]

Their life experience has shaped their world in a very different way than you.

They are not going to believe like you, value what you value or live like you. You may never see eye to eye.

You might have knowledge, they have wisdom gained through 60-80 years of living.

Respect them. Be gracious. You can do this without agreeing, without condoning. Don't be so full of yourself and PC that you can't give basic kindness and courtesy to someone just because you don't agree with them or because they are your in laws.

It is simple human kindness.

Your kids and daughter in laws especially will say the same things about you. That you are out of touch. That your religious or spiritual beliefs are wrong. That your values have no place in todays world. That the traditions you value should not even be spoken of, let alone practiced around your grandchildren.

Your kids and future DILs will say all of this and more. Unless you model to them how to be respectful and gracious to their elders, especially those close family members.

I am not talking about dealing with abuse, or disfunction or destruction, just basic human respect with older family members who you might not really like or agree with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just defer to them as older people and teach dc to respect his elders?

See, I think this concept of "respect someone because they are old" is bullshit. I respect someone because of how they act, how they treat others, etc. Age does not immediately confer this "respect" benefit you speak of.

+1

Anne Frank had more wisdom at 13 than a lot of my elderly relatives did.

? Respecting older people has nothing to do with wisdom or the "quality" of the older people. Of course there are a lot of silly old people. It's about YOUR attitude, and your ability to recognize that someone older than you has seen a lot more than you have, and that you should defer to them because maybe they do know things you're not aware of. Having little respect for others diminishes you, not the other person. SMH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just defer to them as older people and teach dc to respect his elders?

See, I think this concept of "respect someone because they are old" is bullshit. I respect someone because of how they act, how they treat others, etc. Age does not immediately confer this "respect" benefit you speak of.

Ohh, OP, you have so many life lessons to learn, including good manners.

Beware of Karma.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just defer to them as older people and teach dc to respect his elders?

See, I think this concept of "respect someone because they are old" is bullshit. I respect someone because of how they act, how they treat others, etc. Age does not immediately confer this "respect" benefit you speak of.

+1

Anne Frank had more wisdom at 13 than a lot of my elderly relatives did.

? Respecting older people has nothing to do with wisdom or the "quality" of the older people. Of course there are a lot of silly old people. It's about YOUR attitude, and your ability to recognize that someone older than you has seen a lot more than you have, and that you should defer to them because maybe they do know things you're not aware of. Having little respect for others diminishes you, not the other person. SMH.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just defer to them as older people and teach dc to respect his elders?

See, I think this concept of "respect someone because they are old" is bullshit. I respect someone because of how they act, how they treat others, etc. Age does not immediately confer this "respect" benefit you speak of.

+1

Anne Frank had more wisdom at 13 than a lot of my elderly relatives did.

? Respecting older people has nothing to do with wisdom or the "quality" of the older people. Of course there are a lot of silly old people. It's about YOUR attitude, and your ability to recognize that someone older than you has seen a lot more than you have, and that you should defer to them because maybe they do know things you're not aware of. Having little respect for others diminishes you, not the other person. SMH.

Oh good grief. This is ridiculous.