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My mom wants to take my DS out of town
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Anonymous
| OP here, well my sister lives with two other roomates and they have two dogs, one is nice the other not so much. Also, the airport situation was one of my main concerns, he is so active and like most 15 months olds just runs away everytime he gets the chance. I am picking him up in an hour and I am going to tell her how I feel, she'll be dissapointed but she can't hold it against me, if he was a little bit older, I think it'll be ok, but he is too young right now. |
Anonymous
| OK as a dog owner of 2 very nice dogs, the dog situation would be an absolute show stopper for me in sending DS alone (aside from all the other issues mentioned). |
Anonymous
| If your sister is dying to see him so much, tell her to get on a plane and come see you! Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about this, OP. |
Anonymous
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I would not do this. My kids are good travelers but they sometimes get scared in a new place. It would be incredibly hard for a 15month old to process being away from mommy and daddy and in a new place. My kids are really good on planes but even a short flight to Florida is exhausting. Add in the exhaustion, new place, and no mommy and it sounds like a recipe for disaster.
Flying with 15month old is not exactly a picnic even when they are good with flying. Chances are your mom does not know what she is getting into away. You should not feel guilty about saying no. The request was probably well meaning though uninformed and not appropriate. Cheer up it could be worse. My MIL wanted us to put our just turned 3 yr old on a plane by herself to visit her while she was vacationing in Mexico. MIL offered to pick her up at the airport. To this day she is clueless as to why we wouldn't let our 3 yr old fly out of the country on her own. |
Anonymous
| I am in agreement with everyone that at this age that is a No. Now if he was 4 or older... then that is different. |
Anonymous
| If you don't feel comfortable, then don't do it. I won't let my mother take my 4yo for a weekend! |
Anonymous
| This is just one of many times that someone is going to try to talk or guilt you into doing something you are uncomfortable with. He's your child and you don't need to over explain yourself. If you are uncomfortable with the situation that is good enough. He is your responsibility. I agree with the previous posters -- this weekend away from you is recipe for disaster -- now and potentially in the future. I would not qualify a no response with a "if he was older it would be different" because you may not want him to go away for a weekend on a plane without you later on either. |
Anonymous
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I don't disagree with those who say no to this. The only thing that gives me pause is that you allow your mother to care for your son so much, including when you go away for weekends. So, you either implicitly trust her or you are looking for a cheap way for a babysitter. Either way, if I were your mom, I might be considering saying no to your requests for help with your son's care. Again, I'm not saying give in. I'm just saying that you might need alternatives to your childcare situation.
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Anonymous
It is your choice. Ultimately you must do what you feel is right, and you do not owe them an explanation. However, I think you have to ask yourself what is really different between you being out of town and your mother and child being out of town. It seems to me that either way you have left the child with your mother, with you a plane flight away. A lot of posters are making a big deal about the plane flight and child-proofing. But I don't buy those. We all have had to deal with going to a house that is not kid-friendly. You move a few things, cover up some outlets, etc. and everything is fine for a few days. And as far as travel, I am sure your mother traveled with you for more than enough years to be qualified to handle a flight to Florida. It is harder to travel with a child, but a weekend is not that bad. |
Anonymous
I totally disagree with this PP's points. Travelling with a child IS a very different ball game than watching that same child in his/her or your own home. And however much the OP's mom might have travelled with her as a child - which may or may not have been much, considering back in my day (advanced maternal age) our first plane trip was at 12yo - today's context differs radically. Security lines and all the restrictions, including restrictions on non-passengers in the boarding areas, all post-date 9/11. Factor in the increased likelihood of delays en route, and it's tremendously arduous to fly with a small child. Bottom line- OP's concerns are valid and shared by lots of us. Don't feel pressured to do something that you're not comfortable with! |
Anonymous
I thought the same thing. As you know OP, this is ultimately your decision, but don't be surprised if you ruffle feathers and step on some toes in the process. |
Anonymous
I think she already knows this and is why she came here seeking the collective support of other moms to tell her that her mom is wrong, so she can find some solace in knowing she's not the only paranoid one. I know this isn't nice, but the big glaring thing here to me is that she is obviously comfortable with her mom's judgment and abilities to watch the child on a regular basis. Do you never let your mom leave the house with the child? God forbid they enter an unbabyproofed place or experience the hectic nature of shopping in public. |
Anonymous
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My answer was an emphatic "no" after reading your first post. After the "2 roommates and 2 dogs, one friendly one, one not," my answer is now HELL NO!
Who are these roommates? What have they got going on? And the UNFRIENDLY DOG, are you kidding me? I wouldn't let my parents in law sleep with my baby, one room over, when she was a month old. I kept freaking out and couldn't sleep myself wondering what was going on in there. And, since the point was to try to let me sleep, it wasn't worth it. Use yourself as an excuse: "I'm sure everything would be fine with the baby, but I wouldn't feel fine." They should understand that. Plus, what is up with your sister that she hasn't made the trek up here to meet her nephew yet? That should be the guilt trip. He is YOUR BABY. It sounds to me like your sister and Mom like to use the guilt trip on you. Use this as good practice for saying no. I have found that my usual personality is to not stand up for myself and be a martyr. Now that I'm a mom, THAT HAS TO CHANGE! Be a tigress and fight for your baby. He expects that of you and you have every right to say no, no, no just because you feel that way. You are the momma, and that's your right. I'm as much pep-talking me as you, OP, but we can both use this as a lesson to grow a stronger backbone and stand up for ourselves and our babies. |
Anonymous
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I think the OP has the right to make the decision she feels comfortable with but the comments from other parents once again show what is wrong with today's parenting culture -- dogs, roomates, unchild-proofed places, Oh My! The amount of fear and paranoia displayed by some of the PP's is incredible. Apart from plug covers and locks on cabinets with cleaning fluids, we did no further child-proofing. We've taken DS to plenty of unchild-proofed places, including hotels, and just did a good job of watching him. DS has spent occasional nights at the home of childless friends since he was 2.
Really, we're raising a generation of eggshell children... All that said, I think OP knows her child and mother best, but I wouldn't automatically exclude an out of town trip, at least not on the basis of PPs' fears -- dogs!! roommates!!! airports!!!!! |
Anonymous
You said YOU WATCHED your kids well in those circumstances, but what if YOU aren't around? If you think an "eggshell" child is one who isn't aloud to fly out of state to a house with an unfriendly dog, without his parents, at a little over a year and a half, then I want to know what a tough child is! Drives himself to daycare?!! |