What would you do? Five year old dd says that she does not want kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ever since my 5 y/o dd found out that babies come through the vagina or are "cut" out by a doctor (as seen on TV), she says that she does not want kids. It didn't help that her preschool teacher told her that she had no kids because they were "too much trouble and take up all of your time". That is actually not true, the preschool teacher does have a grown child, but she tells her students that she has none. My child is no longer in that preschool, but I still hear her say repeatedly that it hurts to have babies and it is too hard to raise them.

Should I ignore this? I have repeatedly told her that kids are fun, not too much wotk, and it does not hurt to have a baby (a bit untrue).

Any suggestions?

Yes, don't lie to your daughter. Kids are a lot of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ever since my 5 y/o dd found out that babies come through the vagina or are "cut" out by a doctor (as seen on TV), she says that she does not want kids. It didn't help that her preschool teacher told her that she had no kids because they were "too much trouble and take up all of your time". That is actually not true, the preschool teacher does have a grown child, but she tells her students that she has none. My child is no longer in that preschool, but I still hear her say repeatedly that it hurts to have babies and it is too hard to raise them.

Should I ignore this? I have repeatedly told her that kids are fun, not too much wotk, and it does not hurt to have a baby (a bit untrue).

Any suggestions?

Yes, don't lie to your daughter. Kids are a lot of work.

I didn't want kids until I was 31.

If you're lucky, your daughter will continue not to want kids through high school, and will take care not to have any before she's ready.

[Anonymous]

I never dreamed of getting married one day, never really cared about homecomming or the prom, and thought I would NEVER want to live or marry anyone until I met my DH in my 20s. I was prefectly content to be alone. Even up until my DS was born, I really wondered if I had made an enormous mistake. All that changed the day he came into this world. Now I want at least 3 children.

I suppose this is freaking you out, because you are probably quite the opposite, maybe you really always dreamed of these things since being a little girl.

[Anonymous]

My child expects his future wife to move in with us. Should I worry about that?

(none of this lasts, just go with the flow)

[Anonymous]

Say, "Okay." Or "I understand." Then let it go. She's 5, after all.

[Anonymous]

With all do respect, please let it go. She is FIVE. Of course this is gross to her. Why would you even tell a 5-year-old the specifics of how babies are made??

[Anonymous]

I specifically remember when I was a little girl that I did not want to have kids because I thought it would hurt too much. I also thought I would never kiss a boy with my tongue because that was just unsanitary. I changed my mind on those two points without any encouragement from my mother (especially on the last one!).

[Anonymous]

nothing. how would a 5 year old know what they want as an adult?

[Anonymous]

SHE'S 5. But this is what I do. I tell my girls all of the time that it hurts to have babies and that it is a lot of work. I want to scare the crap out of them, because I have a high rate of teen-age and unwed moms on my side of the family. I try to do all that I can do to prevent them from being like other members of my family that have children way too early. My daughters are only 6 and 8 and I don't want them thinking about having children at this age or getting married for that matter. I guess this is the feminist in me, but I tell them that life should be all about their education, career and experiencing the world at least until they are 30. I also tell them that there is nothing else in the world that I love more than motherhood, but that I am a better mother and woman because of all that I did, learned and experienced before becoming a mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SHE'S 5. But this is what I do. I tell my girls all of the time that it hurts to have babies and that it is a lot of work. I want to scare the crap out of them, because I have a high rate of teen-age and unwed moms on my side of the family. I try to do all that I can do to prevent them from being like other members of my family that have children way too early. My daughters are only 6 and 8 and I don't want them thinking about having children at this age or getting married for that matter. I guess this is the feminist in me, but I tell them that life should be all about their education, career and experiencing the world at least until they are 30. I also tell them that there is nothing else in the world that I love more than motherhood, but that I am a better mother and woman because of all that I did, learned and experienced before becoming a mother.

Hero of the day award goes to you. This is very wise and well put.


On a less noble note, my 4.5-y-o thinks she's a chihuahua right now. Fine by me-- she's housebroken.

[Anonymous]

Stop lying to your daughter. And, otherwise, leave her alone to develop her own ideas about what she wants to be. My son wants to be a princess (and a mother). I just say "that sounds interesting."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SHE'S 5. But this is what I do. I tell my girls all of the time that it hurts to have babies and that it is a lot of work. I want to scare the crap out of them, because I have a high rate of teen-age and unwed moms on my side of the family. I try to do all that I can do to prevent them from being like other members of my family that have children way too early. My daughters are only 6 and 8 and I don't want them thinking about having children at this age or getting married for that matter. I guess this is the feminist in me, but I tell them that life should be all about their education, career and experiencing the world at least until they are 30. I also tell them that there is nothing else in the world that I love more than motherhood, but that I am a better mother and woman because of all that I did, learned and experienced before becoming a mother.

I agree with the PP, great advice. We too have had few uneducated, unmarried and under 20 pregnant females in our family. They now live with their parents, sperm donors not around and they struggle every day. It's really sad and I want my kids to learn from those unplanned pregnancies that it is hard. Tell your daughter the truth! But also tell her that if having a baby was that bad, there wouldn't be this many people in the world! Let her make her own decision about having a baby. Some people don't want kids and that's okay too.

[Anonymous]

I would explain to her that she has to have children because otherwise mommy won't be able to be a grandmommy, and that would make her very sad. Does she want to make mommy sad?

Then I would ask her a couple of times a day whether or not she wants to have children over the next 10-12 years. Buy her lots of little baby dolls to play with. Also, you should do a Palin and not teach her anything about birth control, other than that condoms are the Devil's little sausage skins and that women who take the pill are going to spend an eternity in the fires of damnation.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the poster who suggested saying, "I understand". And let it go.

I am wondering why would it be so bad if your DD does decide not to have children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop lying to your daughter. And, otherwise, leave her alone to develop her own ideas about what she wants to be. My son wants to be a princess (and a mother). I just say "that sounds interesting."