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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
To have a third, to not have a third? That is the question. (baby, that is)
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Anonymous
I stand by my "dirty dice" post. If you don't expect new toys to be new, or even clean, then good for you. If you have the rational expectation that new toys you buy will be new (and clean) then avoid Hasbro. You must have Hasbro stock or a lot of extra contempt if you feel the need to weave this issue into a totally new thread. Go munch on a dirty carrot. |
Anonymous
| OK. Forget three children, now this post is making me want four - and I have only two right now! Please stop. |
Anonymous
She's baaacckk. |
Anonymous
| I would love 3 but health issues and age make it too risky. The only think that makes me feel better oddly is the car thing. Even if we could have 3, I have no idea how you would fit three car seats into a small sedan. I hate big cars so a minivan or SVU with my driving ability would only threaten others. |
Anonymous
| I kind of want a 3rd child too, and I am 43. I just had my 2nd, and she is 8 months old and just perfect. Oh well, I think I'll have to be satisfied with 2 though. We decided to stop, and I'm ok with that. Good luck with your decision. |
Anonymous
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I think about having another (we have two of the same gender) quite often. But, my DH and I both come from three child homes and the sibling dynamics were/are horrible. I know that our experience is not a valid statistical sampling, but the families I know who have more than three or fewer than three seem to have better sibling relationships.
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Anonymous
Really? I come from a group of 3 and we are all very close. Talk daily and see each other at least once a week. I would love to move from the DC area, but my brother and sister keep me here. I could not imagine being far from them. I am all for big families. |
Anonymous
| I also come from a family with three siblings. My siblings and I are very close. We love each other's company, and they are two of my most favorite people in the world. I plan to have three or four someday. |
Anonymous
| We have two and have been trying for #3 for about a year. We'd be happy if we wound up with 4. Yeah, babyhood can be a total drag emotionally and physically, but then they grow up and you have this interesting group of people to mix things up with for the rest of your life. Big families have always been appealing to me -- more variety, more energy, more ideas, more (forced, sometimes!) sharing, greater variety of relationships, etc. etc. When you talk to people who are older, you often hear regrets about not having more children. I've never heard anyone say they regret the children they did have, even if certain aspects of it were tough. I also agree that once you get past two or three kids, it doesn't really get harder. The older kids are more able to help and give attention to the younger ones - this is something I've seen a lot with my friends who have 4, 5 or 6 children. (yes, I know a number of families who have 4+ children). |
Anonymous
For what it is worth, I think this is a fantastic post re: pros/cons. Thanks for your insight! |
Anonymous
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I'll tell you, right now I don't see how we can even afford the 2 we have, not to think of adding a third.
I'm sure it is just because it is October, which seems to be a very expensive month for the school year. Once kids get into school, their activities do add up. And yeah, sure, you don't have to do them all, and yeah, sure, you can economize, and big families just don't have all tehse things. But still, just in the past week I've had to write checks or spend cash for the following. (This isn't including stuff like clotehs, dentist's and doctor's visits, or oh, yeah, FOOD) (-; supplemental fee for school $25 picture day (2 kids) $30 Halloween Family Fun Day $24 karate class $50 2 field trips $30 and $15 Book Fair Books $8 cash for room parents for parties, etc. $15 birthday presents for kids friends $20 art class $45 It just adds up, is all I'm saying. Esp. as they get older. |
Anonymous
| I have 3 and it's a crowd!!! Seriously, STOP at 2! 3 wll be so very hard on you and your finances! |
Anonymous
| Going from 2 to 3 is much harder than going from 1 to 2 or 0 to 1 for that matter. I love having three and that was what I had hoped to have, but I have to say that it is really hard. We have two boys and the third was a girl. Its hard to admit it, but I don't feel that in hindsight, had the third been a boy, it would have been as good of an experience, however awful that sounds. I didn't at all feel this way (consciously) before having DD, I just thought I wanted a healthy baby and wanted three kids. But part of what has made this such an unbelievable experience is having gotten to add a daughter to our family. |
Anonymous
| 16:40 - GREAT post! These are all things that I think about, but you verbalized them so well! |
Anonymous
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We are also thinking of a third and worried about sibling dynamics with only two. My husband was one of two and they are not close - competition means one looser, one winner. When there are disagreements, they are loaded because they are each other's only sibling. I grew up with three. All of us were very different and not always close, but never apart. When I had a disagreement with my sister, but brother was a tie-breaker. When I didn't understand something my brother had done, my sister could explain. And, now, that our parents have some needs, we are talking about how to coordinate their care. I worry if it was just two of us, the work of taking care of my parents would be harder to spread around.
With that said, my youngest is 17 months old and I really relate to the "just getting out of the woods, why go back in" posters. I don't know if I have the energy for a third, although I think that it would be best for the family. |