best private school Kindergarten for by Black child?

[Anonymous]

Black mom with young boy. First private school attended ds was 1 of 3 back boys in his class and there was not mesh/fit with classmates or teachers or admin. Second private school ds is unfortunately one of few black kids in his school, and he loves it there and so do we. He is in first grade and misses his friends and teachers over the weekend. Teachers and admin and parents are engaged, kind and responsive. School only goes to second grade so I'm thinking ahead myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:sorry for not being more clear. if any of you had children of color you would probably understand, but a place where a child of color would feel welcome and not be the only child of color in her class. i agree, we should be beyond this but sadly we are so not in america. i am sure WIS is a good place but i was wondering about other schools. and yes, i taught at st. patrick's and i saw first hand how they treated the Black children there but that's for another post.

Capitol Hill Day School seems very inclusive, beyond rhetoric.
I agree, this culture has not moved beyond that and I am white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:sorry for not being more clear. if any of you had children of color you would probably understand, but a place where a child of color would feel welcome and not be the only child of color in her class. i agree, we should be beyond this but sadly we are so not in america. i am sure WIS is a good place but i was wondering about other schools. and yes, i taught at st. patrick's and i saw first hand how they treated the Black children there but that's for another post.

Really? That makes me sad. I mean that, for the children's sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:sorry for not being more clear. if any of you had children of color you would probably understand, but a place where a child of color would feel welcome and not be the only child of color in her class. i agree, we should be beyond this but sadly we are so not in america. i am sure WIS is a good place but i was wondering about other schools. and yes, i taught at st. patrick's and i saw first hand how they treated the Black children there but that's for another post.

Really? That makes me sad. I mean that, for the children's sake.

Oh, for pete's sake, get over yourself OP. How they "treated" the black children? Did they single them out and make them sit in the closet? Please do elaborate.

You are full of it and you know it. Frankly, I feel sorry for your child. who obviously has a parent who thinks her best shot in life is to perpetrate decades-old stereotypes as a means of getting ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:sorry for not being more clear. if any of you had children of color you would probably understand, but a place where a child of color would feel welcome and not be the only child of color in her class. i agree, we should be beyond this but sadly we are so not in america. i am sure WIS is a good place but i was wondering about other schools. and yes, i taught at st. patrick's and i saw first hand how they treated the Black children there but that's for another post.

Really? That makes me sad. I mean that, for the children's sake.

DC went to a Big 3 private and, not that I counted then, but just looking at an old class picture on the wall here I see that, in a class of 20, there were 3 AA children, 3 South Asian children ( India, Pakistan, Iran, Afghan), 2 Asian children ( Japanese or Chinese American), 2 Middle Eastern children, 2 kids with some Pacific Islander heritage, and the rest white kids, some of whom are Jewish, Irish, English, Sweedish, German, Russian, and Slavic descent.

The class looks like a group any child could fit into. I am not clear on how , if trying to make the class truly diverse, the AD could have any more than 2-3 AA children in a class, as to do so would exclude other URM. AA are 11% of US pop, correct. So, in a class of 20 kids, thats about 2 kids, right ?

The things that make a child not do well in a school ( private or public) are level of academic challenge or style of teaching is poor fit for the DC ,or DC is dissruptive due to poor impulse control, immaturity ( and plain old fashioned bad parenting). In my expereince, the kids who have problems in these areas are of all races, levels of HHI, and ethnicities. It important to have trust in teachers and admin if/when constructive feedback is given about negative behavior. Actually, I think its a great service teachers and the school provides and they are not paid enough , imho, for what they often have to do which is find very nice, but concrete ways of saying, "look your DC is a brat, he/she can't get along withhis peers, needs to shape up"

In choosing a school, a parent chooses to join a community , the standards of which are set by both the teachers, the admin, the parents , and what is the long standing culture of the school. As a white person and parent, I made it a point to just listen and observe my first year, not wanting to step out of the bounds of the culture of the school until I was aware of what those expectations were. I think it behooves anyone to take that approach whether it is at DC's school or a new job. In other words, I did not expect the school to conform to me, and aside from a LD, I would not expect the school to bend expectations for my DC.

In this context, I don't see how , as OP said, a school should have a special system in place for how to treat "black children" well . I'd ask, haven't we moved beyond that ? If not, I think that is sad. A school should treat all children well, be welcoming of all, and part of that is holding everyone to same standard, and assuming good will on part of everyone.

I think its the assuming of good will part that some people have a problem with and that is sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black mom with young boy. First private school attended ds was 1 of 3 back boys in his class and there was not mesh/fit with classmates or teachers or admin. Second private school ds is unfortunately one of few black kids in his school, and he loves it there and so do we. He is in first grade and misses his friends and teachers over the weekend. Teachers and admin and parents are engaged, kind and responsive. School only goes to second grade so I'm thinking ahead myself.

What do you mean, " there was not a mesh/fit with the teachers, classmates and admin ?

As far as 4 year olds, " meshing in with them" requires that a child be kind, share, caring towards other kids, listen while otehr kids are talking, and not hit,bite or kick anyone or be bossy.

As far as a " fit with the teacher" that requires DC follow class rules, listen when teacher and classmates are talking, follow teachers instructions on projects/assinments, transition in an orderly manner , be able to sit still, and not hit, bite ,kick other classmates or take toys away from other kids.

As far as "fit with the school" that reuires that parent accept feedback from the teachers and admin about the DC, that they support the school's behavior expectations and that they not be a PITA.

Pretty easy, no ? How does an admitted child/family manage to "not fit/mesh" if they managed to be admitted in first place. It would seem taht there was an issue identifed early on and parent did not agree or would not address it. I cannot see any other way a child could not "mesh" with other 4 year olds who will play with anyone who is standing in front of them, unless the kid repeatedly blows it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:sorry for not being more clear. if any of you had children of color you would probably understand, but a place where a child of color would feel welcome and not be the only child of color in her class. i agree, we should be beyond this but sadly we are so not in america. i am sure WIS is a good place but i was wondering about other schools. and yes, i taught at st. patrick's and i saw first hand how they treated the Black children there but that's for another post.

Really? That makes me sad. I mean that, for the children's sake.

Oh, for pete's sake, get over yourself OP. How they "treated" the black children? Did they single them out and make them sit in the closet? Please do elaborate.

You are full of it and you know it. Frankly, I feel sorry for your child. who obviously has a parent who thinks her best shot in life is to perpetrate decades-old stereotypes as a means of getting ahead.

Hmmm. I find your post offensive and I am neither OP nor black. Why assume its a means of getting ahead? You sound ignorant. There are subtleties - assuming black children are not smart, or will be troublesome, or not bothering to pick them when they have their hands up, assuming they are in the wrong in a kiddie spat, assuming their backgrounds or cultural milieu is inferior. I went to privates and Ivy's all my life and so do my children and we see it at all levels - from K to college. It is the assumptions and subtleties that sting - and because some of my friends are so conscious of NOT assuming these slights are due to race they have found all sorts of reasons but often they have reluctantly and sadly come to the realization that it is race - and these are successful, driven people who use no excuse to "get ahead".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:sorry for not being more clear. if any of you had children of color you would probably understand, but a place where a child of color would feel welcome and not be the only child of color in her class. i agree, we should be beyond this but sadly we are so not in america. i am sure WIS is a good place but i was wondering about other schools. and yes, i taught at st. patrick's and i saw first hand how they treated the Black children there but that's for another post.

Really? That makes me sad. I mean that, for the children's sake.

Oh, for pete's sake, get over yourself OP. How they "treated" the black children? Did they single them out and make them sit in the closet? Please do elaborate.

You are full of it and you know it. Frankly, I feel sorry for your child. who obviously has a parent who thinks her best shot in life is to perpetrate decades-old stereotypes as a means of getting ahead.

Hmmm. I find your post offensive and I am neither OP nor black. Why assume its a means of getting ahead? You sound ignorant. There are subtleties - assuming black children are not smart, or will be troublesome, or not bothering to pick them when they have their hands up, assuming they are in the wrong in a kiddie spat, assuming their backgrounds or cultural milieu is inferior. I went to privates and Ivy's all my life and so do my children and we see it at all levels - from K to college. It is the assumptions and subtleties that sting - and because some of my friends are so conscious of NOT assuming these slights are due to race they have found all sorts of reasons but often they have reluctantly and sadly come to the realization that it is race - and these are successful, driven people who use no excuse to "get ahead".

8:54 again, and to me, YOUR rationalization comes across as ignorant, and quite pompous as well. How ridiculous of you to ascribe motives to other people's actions. Is this an inferiority complext on your part, or a deeply held guilt for how you are afraid YOU would have behaved in a situation? In other words, how do YOU know what other people are "assuming?" Maybe these particular kids and their actions gave teachers/ schools plenty of reason to do or say as they did.

[Anonymous]

I think OP's question is valid. My young, white DC is best friends with the 1 black kid in the class. At a party recently, we were the only white people there, and DC felt decidedly out of place - pointing out the differences in hair, skin, etc. Of course these things don't matter, but what parent doesn't want to ensure their kid feels like one of the bunch?

So I realized that this kid must feel that way all the time (at our predminantly white school).

If I were OP I would certainly be asking this question.

[Anonymous]

Sidwell, GDS, and Beauvoir. Regarding the St. Pat's comment, from what I have been told by other AA families there is that the teachers and adminstrators are welcoming and great but it was the social aspect that they felt on the left out of and their child felt the brunt of the fact that many families socialize outside school together and theirs did not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:sorry for not being more clear. if any of you had children of color you would probably understand, but a place where a child of color would feel welcome and not be the only child of color in her class. i agree, we should be beyond this but sadly we are so not in america. i am sure WIS is a good place but i was wondering about other schools. and yes, i taught at st. patrick's and i saw first hand how they treated the Black children there but that's for another post.

Really? That makes me sad. I mean that, for the children's sake.

Oh, for pete's sake, get over yourself OP. How they "treated" the black children? Did they single them out and make them sit in the closet? Please do elaborate.

You are full of it and you know it. Frankly, I feel sorry for your child. who obviously has a parent who thinks her best shot in life is to perpetrate decades-old stereotypes as a means of getting ahead.

Hmmm. I find your post offensive and I am neither OP nor black. Why assume its a means of getting ahead? You sound ignorant. There are subtleties - assuming black children are not smart, or will be troublesome, or not bothering to pick them when they have their hands up, assuming they are in the wrong in a kiddie spat, assuming their backgrounds or cultural milieu is inferior. I went to privates and Ivy's all my life and so do my children and we see it at all levels - from K to college. It is the assumptions and subtleties that sting - and because some of my friends are so conscious of NOT assuming these slights are due to race they have found all sorts of reasons but often they have reluctantly and sadly come to the realization that it is race - and these are successful, driven people who use no excuse to "get ahead".

8:54 again, and to me, YOUR rationalization comes across as ignorant, and quite pompous as well. How ridiculous of you to ascribe motives to other people's actions. Is this an inferiority complext on your part, or a deeply held guilt for how you are afraid YOU would have behaved in a situation? In other words, how do YOU know what other people are "assuming?" Maybe these particular kids and their actions gave teachers/ schools plenty of reason to do or say as they did.

It sounds to me that , deep down, PP above is deeply suspicious and distrustful of white people. If you go into a school with that attitude ( chip on one's shoulder) and DC does get in trouble or does not get glowing reports, seems a bit weak minded or, dare I say it, racsist, to assume that that feedback is anything other than a dedicated teacher trying to give honest feedback.

If my DS was not called on , I woudl not assume it was because he was a boy, amd most teachers are women. If my DC got in a fight , I would see it as an opportunity to teach him about how to diffuse a situation more constructively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:sorry for not being more clear. if any of you had children of color you would probably understand, but a place where a child of color would feel welcome and not be the only child of color in her class. i agree, we should be beyond this but sadly we are so not in america. i am sure WIS is a good place but i was wondering about other schools. and yes, i taught at st. patrick's and i saw first hand how they treated the Black children there but that's for another post.

Really? That makes me sad. I mean that, for the children's sake.

Oh, for pete's sake, get over yourself OP. How they "treated" the black children? Did they single them out and make them sit in the closet? Please do elaborate.

You are full of it and you know it. Frankly, I feel sorry for your child. who obviously has a parent who thinks her best shot in life is to perpetrate decades-old stereotypes as a means of getting ahead.

Hmmm. I find your post offensive and I am neither OP nor black. Why assume its a means of getting ahead? You sound ignorant. There are subtleties - assuming black children are not smart, or will be troublesome, or not bothering to pick them when they have their hands up, assuming they are in the wrong in a kiddie spat, assuming their backgrounds or cultural milieu is inferior. I went to privates and Ivy's all my life and so do my children and we see it at all levels - from K to college. It is the assumptions and subtleties that sting - and because some of my friends are so conscious of NOT assuming these slights are due to race they have found all sorts of reasons but often they have reluctantly and sadly come to the realization that it is race - and these are successful, driven people who use no excuse to "get ahead".

8:54 again, and to me, YOUR rationalization comes across as ignorant, and quite pompous as well. How ridiculous of you to ascribe motives to other people's actions. Is this an inferiority complext on your part, or a deeply held guilt for how you are afraid YOU would have behaved in a situation? In other words, how do YOU know what other people are "assuming?" Maybe these particular kids and their actions gave teachers/ schools plenty of reason to do or say as they did.

It sounds to me that , deep down, PP above is deeply suspicious and distrustful of white people. If you go into a school with that attitude ( chip on one's shoulder) and DC does get in trouble or does not get glowing reports, seems a bit weak minded or, dare I say it, racsist, to assume that that feedback is anything other than a dedicated teacher trying to give honest feedback.

If my DS was not called on , I woudl not assume it was because he was a boy, amd most teachers are women. If my DC got in a fight , I would see it as an opportunity to teach him about how to diffuse a situation more constructively.

Why do we put our children through this madness?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:sorry for not being more clear. if any of you had children of color you would probably understand, but a place where a child of color would feel welcome and not be the only child of color in her class. i agree, we should be beyond this but sadly we are so not in america. i am sure WIS is a good place but i was wondering about other schools. and yes, i taught at st. patrick's and i saw first hand how they treated the Black children there but that's for another post.

Really? That makes me sad. I mean that, for the children's sake.

Oh, for pete's sake, get over yourself OP. How they "treated" the black children? Did they single them out and make them sit in the closet? Please do elaborate.

You are full of it and you know it. Frankly, I feel sorry for your child. who obviously has a parent who thinks her best shot in life is to perpetrate decades-old stereotypes as a means of getting ahead.

Hmmm. I find your post offensive and I am neither OP nor black. Why assume its a means of getting ahead? You sound ignorant. There are subtleties - assuming black children are not smart, or will be troublesome, or not bothering to pick them when they have their hands up, assuming they are in the wrong in a kiddie spat, assuming their backgrounds or cultural milieu is inferior. I went to privates and Ivy's all my life and so do my children and we see it at all levels - from K to college. It is the assumptions and subtleties that sting - and because some of my friends are so conscious of NOT assuming these slights are due to race they have found all sorts of reasons but often they have reluctantly and sadly come to the realization that it is race - and these are successful, driven people who use no excuse to "get ahead".

8:54 again, and to me, YOUR rationalization comes across as ignorant, and quite pompous as well. How ridiculous of you to ascribe motives to other people's actions. Is this an inferiority complext on your part, or a deeply held guilt for how you are afraid YOU would have behaved in a situation? In other words, how do YOU know what other people are "assuming?" Maybe these particular kids and their actions gave teachers/ schools plenty of reason to do or say as they did.

It sounds to me that , deep down, PP above is deeply suspicious and distrustful of white people. If you go into a school with that attitude ( chip on one's shoulder) and DC does get in trouble or does not get glowing reports, seems a bit weak minded or, dare I say it, racsist, to assume that that feedback is anything other than a dedicated teacher trying to give honest feedback.

If my DS was not called on , I woudl not assume it was because he was a boy, amd most teachers are women. If my DC got in a fight , I would see it as an opportunity to teach him about how to diffuse a situation more constructively.

Why do we put our children through this madness?

Good question. And it starts with questions like OP's -- asking strangers on an anonymous forum to name the best private school K for a black child, without any other detail than that, as though this population is a monolith.

[Anonymous]

Still think it's a fake post. A professional would not call the school they taught at racist in a pretend-but-not-really-anonymous post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:sorry for not being more clear. if any of you had children of color you would probably understand, but a place where a child of color would feel welcome and not be the only child of color in her class. i agree, we should be beyond this but sadly we are so not in america. i am sure WIS is a good place but i was wondering about other schools. and yes, i taught at st. patrick's and i saw first hand how they treated the Black children there but that's for another post.

Really? That makes me sad. I mean that, for the children's sake.

Oh, for pete's sake, get over yourself OP. How they "treated" the black children? Did they single them out and make them sit in the closet? Please do elaborate.

You are full of it and you know it. Frankly, I feel sorry for your child. who obviously has a parent who thinks her best shot in life is to perpetrate decades-old stereotypes as a means of getting ahead.

Your comments are so very ignorant. You clearly have no clue. This may be surprising to you, but these are not decades old stereotypes. Anytime someone tries to have ask a serious question, people on this blog get all offended. Maybe you should shut your mouth and try to seriously learn about a community that you clearly do not understand. My son went to 3 different elementary schools because he was not welcomed. We ended up in public school where he is happier. Many issues are subtle and people don't take the time to understand that people are indeed, still judged by the color of their skin. Stop watching so much television. Get some black friends. Maybe they can give you a lesson or two.