DD Classmates' Mother Confronted DD on Playground at School WTH!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is so bad about another mom saying to your daughter "You need to be nice and include everyone." It's hardly a confrontation. Have you asked your daughter what she was doing at the time?

Because this is not a teacher, this is a parent. She does not have the best interest of all the students, she has the best interest of her daughter. What if I went up to her DD and told her that she has to include my daughter in everything?

Okay. What would be the big deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, you're overreacting on every front.
1. Parents are on the playground all the time at our school. There's nothing more normal. You're "furious"? Perhaps you need to spend more time at the school yourself.
2. Her daughter came home upset that your daughter was mean to her.
3. She spoke politely to your daughter about an issue with your daughter
4. Your daughter is old enough not to have HER mother stand between her and the rest of the world, at least on this level.

I was going to say "I can't believe that...", but yes, I can believe that your first reaction isn't to have a conversation with your daughter about her mean girl tendencies, but to flip out on DCUM about the presence of a parent on the playground. Please get your priorities straight.

I just said that my daughter is NOT a Mean Girl, you seem very presumptuous. I asked DD if she was ever mean to this other girl and she said no, that they just don't hang out because they have different interests. If my DD was mean, I would DEFINITELY want to know, so I can fix the behavior however I do not want some adult to approach my daughter.

So your daughter is not mean because....she says so.

So she is because you say so?

[Anonymous]

1. Parents are needed on public school playgrounds because there are not enough paid staff to ensure students' safety.

2. If the mother reminded your daughter to include everyone, that is allowed and even recommended. Playground justice has to be dealt immediately, because the kids live in the instant and otherwise the children lose playing time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, you're overreacting on every front.
1. Parents are on the playground all the time at our school. There's nothing more normal. You're "furious"? Perhaps you need to spend more time at the school yourself.
2. Her daughter came home upset that your daughter was mean to her.
3. She spoke politely to your daughter about an issue with your daughter
4. Your daughter is old enough not to have HER mother stand between her and the rest of the world, at least on this level.

I was going to say "I can't believe that...", but yes, I can believe that your first reaction isn't to have a conversation with your daughter about her mean girl tendencies, but to flip out on DCUM about the presence of a parent on the playground. Please get your priorities straight.

I just said that my daughter is NOT a Mean Girl, you seem very presumptuous. I asked DD if she was ever mean to this other girl and she said no, that they just don't hang out because they have different interests. If my DD was mean, I would DEFINITELY want to know, so I can fix the behavior however I do not want some adult to approach my daughter.

You seem very naive. Your daughter lied to you. The other girl was upset enough to get her mother involved, and it's less likely that she would manufacture that upset than it is that your daughter would lie to you when caught out in bad behavior.

You say you would want to know if your daughter were mean. Well, now you know. She is mean enough to get another parent involved, AND she lies, or, perhaps even worse, doesn't think it's a big deal. Take it from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, you're overreacting on every front.
1. Parents are on the playground all the time at our school. There's nothing more normal. You're "furious"? Perhaps you need to spend more time at the school yourself.
2. Her daughter came home upset that your daughter was mean to her.
3. She spoke politely to your daughter about an issue with your daughter
4. Your daughter is old enough not to have HER mother stand between her and the rest of the world, at least on this level.

I was going to say "I can't believe that...", but yes, I can believe that your first reaction isn't to have a conversation with your daughter about her mean girl tendencies, but to flip out on DCUM about the presence of a parent on the playground. Please get your priorities straight.

I just said that my daughter is NOT a Mean Girl, you seem very presumptuous. I asked DD if she was ever mean to this other girl and she said no, that they just don't hang out because they have different interests. If my DD was mean, I would DEFINITELY want to know, so I can fix the behavior however I do not want some adult to approach my daughter.

So your daughter is not mean because....she says so.

No. I just don't see what the big deal is with another parent of a classmate reminding your daughter to be nice and include everyone. Is there something wrong with that message? I can't imagine so. If so, please explain.

So she is because you say so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened to my son. But the woman actually grabbed him by the arm and shook him. She also yelled. She was banned from volunteering.

I hate, hate, hate that volunteers have no training on how to deal with children. I don't think volunteers should have contact with children unless they have some sort of certification.

Exactly. If a teacher were to have done this I wouldn't mind, but this is just some child's mother. I can admit when my daughter makes mistakes, but I don't think it's in this woman's rights to try to buffer this relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to my son. But the woman actually grabbed him by the arm and shook him. She also yelled. She was banned from volunteering.

I hate, hate, hate that volunteers have no training on how to deal with children. I don't think volunteers should have contact with children unless they have some sort of certification.

Exactly. If a teacher were to have done this I wouldn't mind, but this is just some child's mother. I can admit when my daughter makes mistakes, but I don't think it's in this woman's rights to try to buffer this relationship.

This makes absolutely no sense. So, you have no problem with the message that was given to your daughter -- to be nice and include everyone -- you have a problem with a volunteer delivering it? Why?

OP, you are making an ass of yourself.

[Anonymous]

I think it would be absolutely acceptable to ask the school to ban this woman from playground duty. An adult approaching a child during the school day, on school property and while in service to the school in order to hash out a personal grievance with that child is beyond the pale. She took advantage of the fact that your daughter was in a vulnerable position, when she could corner her with no adults nearby, and that should not be acceptable to any parent or responsible adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, you're overreacting on every front.
1. Parents are on the playground all the time at our school. There's nothing more normal. You're "furious"? Perhaps you need to spend more time at the school yourself.
2. Her daughter came home upset that your daughter was mean to her.
3. She spoke politely to your daughter about an issue with your daughter
4. Your daughter is old enough not to have HER mother stand between her and the rest of the world, at least on this level.

I was going to say "I can't believe that...", but yes, I can believe that your first reaction isn't to have a conversation with your daughter about her mean girl tendencies, but to flip out on DCUM about the presence of a parent on the playground. Please get your priorities straight.

I just said that my daughter is NOT a Mean Girl, you seem very presumptuous. I asked DD if she was ever mean to this other girl and she said no, that they just don't hang out because they have different interests. If my DD was mean, I would DEFINITELY want to know, so I can fix the behavior however I do not want some adult to approach my daughter.

You seem very naive. Your daughter lied to you. The other girl was upset enough to get her mother involved, and it's less likely that she would manufacture that upset than it is that your daughter would lie to you when caught out in bad behavior.

You say you would want to know if your daughter were mean. Well, now you know. She is mean enough to get another parent involved, AND she lies, or, perhaps even worse, doesn't think it's a big deal. Take it from there.

How dare you say something about so negative about my child whom you don't know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to my son. But the woman actually grabbed him by the arm and shook him. She also yelled. She was banned from volunteering.

I hate, hate, hate that volunteers have no training on how to deal with children. I don't think volunteers should have contact with children unless they have some sort of certification.

Exactly. If a teacher were to have done this I wouldn't mind, but this is just some child's mother. I can admit when my daughter makes mistakes, but I don't think it's in this woman's rights to try to buffer this relationship.

This makes absolutely no sense. So, you have no problem with the message that was given to your daughter -- to be nice and include everyone -- you have a problem with a volunteer delivering it? Why?

OP, you are making an ass of yourself.

Yes. A certified teacher whom (like I said) has the interest of all the students, rather than some mother who is fighting her daughters battles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, you're overreacting on every front.
1. Parents are on the playground all the time at our school. There's nothing more normal. You're "furious"? Perhaps you need to spend more time at the school yourself.
2. Her daughter came home upset that your daughter was mean to her.
3. She spoke politely to your daughter about an issue with your daughter
4. Your daughter is old enough not to have HER mother stand between her and the rest of the world, at least on this level.

I was going to say "I can't believe that...", but yes, I can believe that your first reaction isn't to have a conversation with your daughter about her mean girl tendencies, but to flip out on DCUM about the presence of a parent on the playground. Please get your priorities straight.

I just said that my daughter is NOT a Mean Girl, you seem very presumptuous. I asked DD if she was ever mean to this other girl and she said no, that they just don't hang out because they have different interests. If my DD was mean, I would DEFINITELY want to know, so I can fix the behavior however I do not want some adult to approach my daughter.

You seem very naive. Your daughter lied to you. The other girl was upset enough to get her mother involved, and it's less likely that she would manufacture that upset than it is that your daughter would lie to you when caught out in bad behavior.

You say you would want to know if your daughter were mean. Well, now you know. She is mean enough to get another parent involved, AND she lies, or, perhaps even worse, doesn't think it's a big deal. Take it from there.

How dare you say something about so negative about my child whom you don't know.

And you wonder why the other parent, who DOES know your child, didn't want to speak to you directly? You are too biased to be reasonable. Other mom probably thought she'd have better results with a nine year old than with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be absolutely acceptable to ask the school to ban this woman from playground duty. An adult approaching a child during the school day, on school property and while in service to the school in order to hash out a personal grievance with that child is beyond the pale. She took advantage of the fact that your daughter was in a vulnerable position, when she could corner her with no adults nearby, and that should not be acceptable to any parent or responsible adult.

Nice try OP.

[Anonymous]

Op, I not only think you should get this mom banned from the school, but you should also call the cops and have the mom arrested for verbal abuse and intimidation. After all, your daughter is totally innocent and would never lie about what went down.

[Anonymous]

Op, you sound slightly off your rocker. I'd talk to your daughters teacher to make sure there isn't some mean girl tendencies going on. You know...get the whole story first before going crazy

[Anonymous]

NP here. This post seems to be taking a weird turn, and possibly the OP was a little over-dramatic. But I do think she has a legitimate gripe. If a parent is concerned about a kid's behavior toward her own child, it is NOT appropriate to hijack a volunteer assignment to chastise other kids. She should have taken it up with the teacher, or with the OP directly if it was that serious; if it was just the apparently normal nonsense that goes on between kids, she should be working with her daughter to figure out solutions for managing social difficulties.

I say that as a parent of an elementary student who has been the subject of some teasing etc. by other classmates. I do occasionally volunteer, in part to get a first-hand sense of how he interacts with others. But I would NEVER confront another child while volunteering except to deal with an immediate danger or problem (eg., break up a fight on the playground or something like that.) OP, I'd speak to the teacher in all this. But I do agree that someone should give the other parent guidance about volunteer responsibilities.