Too exhausted for TTC weeknight sex

[Anonymous]

have coffee after dinner

[Anonymous]

OP here. I think what we're going to have to do is go to bed extra early the nights around ovulation time. We tried morning TTC sex, but I'm not a morning person and was more exhausted then, especially b/c DH has to get up for work at 5 am.

I've just never had a lot of energy, and I know taking care of a newborn and young child is going to be very hard for me. It will also be hard because we have no family in the area to help. My diet is pretty good, I am a vegetarian so I eat lots of veggies, and I take a pre-natal vitamin daily.

The exercise thing could be the issue. I don't do any exercise. I just don't have the energy to exercise after work (or in the mornings) and I can't go on my lunch break because I only get a 30 minute lunch. On the weekends, it just seems like the last thing I want to do. But I know I need to do some, and maybe I'd have more energy then. I am a good weight for my height and am slim, but exercise is just something that I have never had much time or interest for.

[Anonymous]

You lost me at "10 hours of sleep." You aren't cut out for this life, if you think you're tired now.

[Anonymous]

Invite a friend to spice things up, maybe an invite an enemy to make things even more interesting

[Anonymous]

Haha, I agree with PP.

On a more serious note, you might want to work out the energy issue before ttc. You will need to take a more proactive role in your care. It's not normal for an adult to feel non functional without at least 10 hours of sleep, like you are describing.

[Anonymous]

Agree w/ pp. And maybe a vegetarian diet is part of the problem. Lacking protein/iron???? Sounds like you will be miserable w/ a baby if you are THAT low energy. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Op how are you going to handle the sleep deprivation that comes with a newborn? Even if you get a great sleeper, a newborn will feed during the night and may not sleep through the night for months. you re going to be awake off and on every single night. On top of that taking care of the baby will exhaust you. Are you going to hire help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op how are you going to handle the sleep deprivation that comes with a newborn? Even if you get a great sleeper, a newborn will feed during the night and may not sleep through the night for months. you re going to be awake off and on every single night. On top of that taking care of the baby will exhaust you. Are you going to hire help?

OP here. I have no idea how I'm going to handle the sleep deprivation. I do worry about that a lot, but I've talked about it with DH, and since we're both going to keep working full-time, he has agreed to get up with the baby every night since he is a lot better with less sleep. I am completely non-fuctional when I don't get at least 8 hours and he can get by on much less. So he has agreed to be the one getting up with the baby, which will work out since I don't plan to breast feed. Plus, we're going to hire a full-time nanny (we have no family here so I can't see how we can get by without one).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girlfriend, if you don't have the energy now as a childless couple, I doubt you will ever have more than one. If you are this tired now you might also want to consider how you are going to handle the real exhaustion that comes from taking care of a small child. We are TTC #2 now and the reality is if this is a priority, you make the time for it and suck it up. You're currently childless - why can't you just have sex first thing when you get home?

I know I can only handle one child. I am not a very high energy person. Next cycle we need to plan better, get way more sleep so I have more energy when I come home. Right when I come home is when I have the least energy--drained from the workday. I need an hour to recharge, and then eat dinner, and then I have a bit more energy. Sex is also quite painful for me, so this is a factor also. Gyn has not been of any help with that problem.

Lube? Try pre-seed. What kind of jobs do you guys do? Why are you so low-energy? Could their be dietary/fitness issues at play? Not trying to be snarky at all, but you may want to think these things through a bit. We changed a lot of our health habits after having a child. They are a huge demand on your time and energy and saying "mommy is too tired" just doesn't work.

OP here. I got tons of bloodwork done in the last few months to prepare for TTC. They found nothing. I am just a low energy person. Always have been. I need 9 solid hours of sleep to feel good, otherwise I feel tired and dragging. DH has a very high stress, 80 hour per week job, my job is a normal job but it tires me out--very busy.

Considering that a week consists only of 164 hours and your DH works nearly 50% of those hours and presumably sleeps another 40% of the rest of those hours, hear me now and believe me later when I tell you that YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS HAVING CHILDREN.

[Anonymous]

Yikes, your dh is not going to be able to handle all the night feeds and an 80 hr/week job. It sounds like you are going to need a night nurse and a nanny and you may need to quit your job too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think what we're going to have to do is go to bed extra early the nights around ovulation time. We tried morning TTC sex, but I'm not a morning person and was more exhausted then, especially b/c DH has to get up for work at 5 am.

So roll over and go back to sleep when he's done. You don't have to be having fun to conceive--or even awake. Use lube, get the job done. His morning wood should mean he doesn't need much help from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - it doesn't have to be at night. Do it when you first wake up in the morning.

+1!

[Anonymous]

OP, this is not normal.

Your plan isn't going to work if you are as clinically low energy as you say.

Your DH would be putting his job at risk if he is getting up every night. That's too much if you work 80 hrs.

You should see a therapist specializing in people dealing with chronic fatigue or something. You have no idea what you're getting into.

[Anonymous]

We had a similar issue, so after six months we went to a fertility doctor. With the help of Clomid and an IUI, I got pregnant the first try. It took the stress off the forced sex.

Please don't be scared off, the first six months suck but it gets better. You will definitely get some down time. Babies nap, get a swing, and schedule sitters/nanny to help. Once their older tv/video/toys occupy them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You lost me at "10 hours of sleep." You aren't cut out for this life, if you think you're tired now.

This.

In fact, the more I think about it, this post is unintentionally hilarious. Everything the OP says is ridiculous in the face of what it takes to raise a newborn, infant, toddler and preschooler. (I will allow that it gets much easier once they hit about age 5).