ADHD 2nd grade son expelled for the day

[Anonymous]

I don't have a kid with ADHD so maybe my opinion isn't needed but I find this whole incident really kind of overblown by the school. A kid brings an object to school, pokes another kid with it -- so what? -- it isn't a weapon. Asking him whether he's purposely used it to hurt someone is so vague and meaningless. Kudos to him for being honest.

To me this whole incident is so overwrought, so laden with moral dilemmas and ethical traps, and so completely over the top. Teacher should have said "Kevin, give that to me and I will give it back to you after class." End of story. This is not about adhd to me, it's about overdramatizing and the stupidity of zero tolerance policies.

Medicate for this??? Omigod. Again, I don't have a kid with adhd, but I could see ANY child falling into this horrible trap and I feel so bad for your son, OP.

[Anonymous]

Am I missing something here. A boy brought a toy (an inappropriate toy but a toy) to school. He fully intended to show it to the teacher since it was for show in tell. So he did not really think he was sneaking anything into the school. He used it inappropriately.

He got suspended.
I guess you punished him in some way - miss TV for a day or so.

Umm! So there you go.

If you are confused by your son's impulsivity by all means YOU see a therapist about this or talk to your pediatrician. They will give you a level headed view of the events that concern you and advise if you son needs further therapy.

The school incident seems minor to middling.

[Anonymous]

I think a teacher was afraid of a potential lawsuit by the parents of hurt children. What if Mikey comes home and says "Johnny was poking with a knife in school today"? I can see a lot of parents flying to school after this incident demanding suspension, repercussions, etc.

[Anonymous]

I was the PP who first mentioned the medication and my child is no where near docile on medication. He is a very productive and happy child. He is in another school now and is well adjusted socially, plays on the basketball team and is in other school clubs. So, PP who made the "docile" comment, you are obviously uninformed. And, choosing medication for your child is a individual and family decision made with the guidance of a trained pedicatrician or psychiatrist. Please don't make those ignorant comments without doing some research first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mean to be rude, but you say your son would never willingly hurt someone but when asked whether he intended to hurt someone he seemed to indicate yes, he did.

I think you serve the suspension. Consider this from the perspective of the other parent -- some kid came in and poked their kid with a scalpel, albeit a dull one. I'd be raising holy hell if your son wasn't severely disciplined, and I wouldn't want to hear squat about ADHD or anything else.

This.

OP you are delusional. Your son has very really problems.

[Anonymous]

I feel like a little boy did a stupid thing at school. Nothing more, nothing less.

[Anonymous]

Right. But schools have zero tolerance for these kinds of incidents. It is unfortunate and sometimes misguided, like in this case. When my son received a suspension once (before the medication), the principal said to me "I know your son would not [fill in the blank] but I have to respond to parents who complain and a code of conduct...". He felt like his hands were tied. I found after a while punishment did not help because the behavior was impulsive and not something he could control or reflect before acting. Although I don't do it as much, I used to check my son's backpack before he leaves for school to make sure he does not take anything that could be mistaken for a weapon. I check now more so to ensure he does not take his iPod or some electronic device.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't mean to be rude, but you say your son would never willingly hurt someone but when asked whether he intended to hurt someone he seemed to indicate yes, he did.

I think you serve the suspension. Consider this from the perspective of the other parent -- some kid came in and poked their kid with a scalpel, albeit a dull one. I'd be raising holy hell if your son wasn't severely disciplined, and I wouldn't want to hear squat about ADHD or anything else.

This.

OP you are delusional. Your son has very really problems.

You are an idiot.

Here is what OP said:

- they asked him if he'd ever purposefully use the scalpel to hurt someone and he said, "Well...maybe. To a child, poking someone is hurting them. He didn't mean he'd go on a serial killing spree. God, people on this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right. But schools have zero tolerance for these kinds of incidents. It is unfortunate and sometimes misguided, like in this case. When my son received a suspension once (before the medication), the principal said to me "I know your son would not [fill in the blank] but I have to respond to parents who complain and a code of conduct...". He felt like his hands were tied. I found after a while punishment did not help because the behavior was impulsive and not something he could control or reflect before acting. Although I don't do it as much, I used to check my son's backpack before he leaves for school to make sure he does not take anything that could be mistaken for a weapon. I check now more so to ensure he does not take his iPod or some electronic device.

That's so crazy. There are two autistic boys in my son's class and one bit him on the nipple (yeah, how the hell did that happen?). Anyway, my only thought was, "Well I guess every now and then my son will get bitten at school. C'est la vie, eh?"

[Anonymous]

I'm talking about bringing "perceived" weapons to school and making verbal threats of violence not biting someone, although it depends on what the school code defines as violent behavior.

[Anonymous]

This makes about as much sense as taking nail clippers away from airline passengers on the grounds that we are stopping terrorism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm talking about bringing "perceived" weapons to school and making verbal threats of violence not biting someone, although it depends on what the school code defines as violent behavior.

I agree that it's different but it's still just a little child doing a stupid thing. It should be treated as such. Most little boys are cuckoo, although to varying degrees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This makes about as much sense as taking nail clippers away from airline passengers on the grounds that we are stopping terrorism.

And yet . . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mean to be rude, but you say your son would never willingly hurt someone but when asked whether he intended to hurt someone he seemed to indicate yes, he did.

I think you serve the suspension. Consider this from the perspective of the other parent -- some kid came in and poked their kid with a scalpel, albeit a dull one. I'd be raising holy hell if your son wasn't severely disciplined, and I wouldn't want to hear squat about ADHD or anything else.

I would take this comment with a grain of salt. What is a second grader's interpretation of "hurt someone" in this context? How does he interpret his own imagination -- could it be that he thought about scalpels and operations and how that would hurt? A second grader ccan't parse language like that, and I don't think it's an appropriate question.

That said, ADHD kids have to follow the school safety rules, too. It's harder because of impulsive behavior, but it's an important lesson to learn (although FTR I think a suspension goes too far). Try to make it a learning experience, be as calm as possible, discuss what we do and don't do at school and towards others ... all things I'm sure you're doing.

Also FWIW meds REALLY help with impulsive behavior if it becomes an ongoing issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would recommend for you and your son to start seeing a psychologist, to talk through his violent (yes, poking someone with a scalpel is violent) tendencies. Also, if you know your son likes to pretend play as a killer/self-harmer, why do you let watch him movies, cartoons like that? Why do you have toy guns in your house?

I also have an ADHD child. I would never think of having him play with anything that causes violent behavior.

I think this is not a helpful or realistic post. Sure, take away movies/cartoons but labeling this 7 year old as "violent" because he poked at someone is, IMO, ridiulous, ADHD or not.