My 10 year old DD watched a lot of pornography just now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened? Did she stream something accidentally and just kept watching?

I am sorry.

She was watching this f*cking Bieber interview and then from there she kept going on to worse and worse videos that includes rape.

How do you get from Bieber videos to rape porn?

...

something is missing here... I don't think one just "stumbles" onto porn, you have to make at least some small effort to search for it.

You can do your own investigation. I just kept clicking "back" until it brought me to the start page with Bieber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you do need to talk this out and it may include professional support. If this was really her first introduction to sex, what she saw could be very overwhelming and scary for her. It could also be confusing and give her a very skewed foundation of sex. You need to talk to her and find out where her head is at and while you have punished her (no electronics for a month) for what she did she needs to know that she can talk to you and ask you any questions she has stemming from what she saw. She might also want to talk about how she feels about it. The fact she kept watching for an hour and hid in the bathroom would be concerning.

OP her. I told her about sex when she was 8. She was very curious about where babies come from and "animals mating" thing did not satisfy her. Then she started brining home some "sex" related questions, so I decided to tell her how it's done So no, she has known what sex for at least 2 years.

In our conversation, she agreed that she need supervision and her dad needs to put password on his laptop and home computer is on only for homework research and some entertainment only when I am around.

[Anonymous]

There is lots of pornographic material on youtube and other "normal" sites, and you don't have to look to far to find it. It comes out in odd places. You could probably be watching Barney, that leads to another kids show, that leads to another kids show, that leads to lesbian porn.

I am sorry OP. I am just imagining the worst. You don't get those images out of your head. You can suppress them to a point, but you just want more and more and more. Look at all the people addicted to porn...all the people who act like they will die if they don't have sex. Look at all the people who posted in the explict forum about how they can't go a day without masturbating. It's just too young to open that door to curosity.

I think you are doing the best you can with the situation, and I wish you the best. Thank you for the reminder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened? Did she stream something accidentally and just kept watching?

I am sorry.

She was watching this f*cking Bieber interview and then from there she kept going on to worse and worse videos that includes rape.

How do you get from Bieber videos to rape porn?

...

something is missing here... I don't think one just "stumbles" onto porn, you have to make at least some small effort to search for it.

Not really. But even so, what's the difference? It's 10000% normal for kids to be curious about things (e.g. sex) without having any clue what they are about. Your post is very odd, PP. It's almost as if you don't have a) children or b) the Internet. Are you suggesting OP's daughter zipped on over to youporn.com and searched for "gang rape"?

[Anonymous]

OP, your DD is going to be fine. I'm the PP who told my kids I would start checking their history and what I found is that they welcomed that kind of boundary. The problem is that this kind of porn is so easy to stumble into and their natural curiosity will lead them to keep going. But they will also feel bad about themselves for looking at this stuff. So by creating boundaries and enforcing them your DD will feel more comfortable.

She will be fine, seriously. I think if you make this too big a deal you will imbue it with all sorts of shame and heaviness that could be problematic in itself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that she was curious and I think any child would have trouble pulling away when something like this appears. Set the limits and then enforce them. But stop worrying. This sort of thing happens ALL the time.

[Anonymous]

You apologized after getting upset??? WTF? BE.A.PARENT. don't be a pushover.

even though I think this post is complete crap.

[Anonymous]

NP here.

I would explain the no electronics punishment by saying that she should not be seeing these things so young in life, but that later she can decide for herself.

I would say that sex is a natural act between consenting adults. No shame!!!
BUT...
Say that any relationship involving pain or coercion is not normal. That she and anyone else has a right to refuse such advances.
And that:
that porn is NOT love, and not how sex usually is between two people who love each other. The people on the videos are actors paid for doing all this. It is not real. It is not how she and her friends are expected to behave later.

Tell her it is normal to be scared by the images she has just seen, that you two can talk about it if she wishes.

Hug her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

I would explain the no electronics punishment by saying that she should not be seeing these things so young in life, but that later she can decide for herself.

I would say that sex is a natural act between consenting adults. No shame!!!
BUT...
Say that any relationship involving pain or coercion is not normal. That she and anyone else has a right to refuse such advances.
And that:
that porn is NOT love, and not how sex usually is between two people who love each other. The people on the videos are actors paid for doing all this. It is not real. It is not how she and her friends are expected to behave later.

Tell her it is normal to be scared by the images she has just seen, that you two can talk about it if she wishes.

Hug her.

I would also add that since she is curious, she probably needs to be pointed to more informative sources of information. Scarlet Teen is a great website. The Goofyfoot Guide to Getting It On is a thorough, explicit explanation of sex. It's used in many sex education courses at the college level.

[Anonymous]

This post doesn't make sense. Why would she lock herself in the bathroom? How did you know she locked herself in there? Did you catch her on the computer or did you just look at history and realized the site was there? You realize it was rape porn but never talked to her about rape? Could you imagine what's going on in her head? She probably relates sex to being a horrible experience now. I don't think this post is true. Sorry. I know things like this happen but not quite like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post doesn't make sense. Why would she lock herself in the bathroom? How did you know she locked herself in there? Did you catch her on the computer or did you just look at history and realized the site was there? You realize it was rape porn but never talked to her about rape? Could you imagine what's going on in her head? She probably relates sex to being a horrible experience now. I don't think this post is true. Sorry. I know things like this happen but not quite like this.

ITA smells like troll farts.

[Anonymous]

08:29 here.

This curiosity about sex plus bathroom lock-up bothers me, OP.

Does somebody in the house regularly lock themselves up in the bathroom with the laptop?

If not, where did she get that idea? How long has she been curious about sex? Not that curiosity itself is suspicious, but just the conjunction of all these things.

It is not likely that she has been abused, but I would ask her some questions about the adults/big kids in your own family, and also at school, activities, friends' houses, etc, if I were you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:08:29 here.

This curiosity about sex plus bathroom lock-up bothers me, OP.

Does somebody in the house regularly lock themselves up in the bathroom with the laptop?

If not, where did she get that idea? How long has she been curious about sex? Not that curiosity itself is suspicious, but just the conjunction of all these things.

It is not likely that she has been abused, but I would ask her some questions about the adults/big kids in your own family, and also at school, activities, friends' houses, etc, if I were you.

I think this is a bit paranoid. All kids are curious about sex. And given OP's extreme reaction, I am not surprised her DD locked herself in the bathroom. She knew she was doing something wrong so she wanted to do it in secret.

[Anonymous]

Yup troll farts here too!

[Anonymous]

I don't think pp's reaction was "extreme." I would have felt the same way (and have a 10-yr-old dd). Since what's done is done, you could use this as an opportunity to talk about your values regarding sexual relationships. Who knows - that discussion may prevent her from dealing with something worse in the future. I think she'll be fine, given the opportunity to process it, especially given her comment about the real world vs. Internet world. Hang in there - this too shall pass.

[Anonymous]