Is it weird to give the new neighbors baked goods?

[Anonymous]

We had this done for us when we moved in and now we do it ourselves. We've become close friends with one set of neighbors and friendly acquaintances with others. It's an easy way to introduce yourself without overstaying.

It's funny that PP mentioned the bakers being the weird ones, maybe our neighbors think that, too. In the other direction, the only 2 neighbors in 10 years who've failed to acknowledge the gift (by a thank you note, bringing the container back, or just stopping by themselves) have turned out to be two of the biggest douchebags in our few block area. So, maybe it's a good practice to get to know who you're dealing with in general.

[Anonymous]

Yes, this used to be much more common. Nowadays, not so much. And the other side, when I moved into my first house, in 1995, after about 2 months, I had a house warming party and even though I invited most people by email (yes, even then), I made sure to print out invitations, write a quick hand note saying I'd love to meet my new neighbors) and dropped a copy in each of the 5 house adjoining mine (3 houses across the street and one on either side). 4 of the 5 neighbors stopped in, 2 even brought a dish to share, even though it didn't ask for it and welcomed me to the neighborhood. They stayed between 15 minutes and about an hour. The last one, found me after the party, apologized for having a confict, but still welcomed me to the neighborhood. And I was on good terms with them the 11+ years that I lived there. Then we moved into our new neighborhood, and I did the same, although it was 6 neighbors this time. This time, not one of them stopped in or ever said a word to me. How sad. The people in this neighborhood I know are from further away. I still know no one within a block of my house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in four states, and nobody has ever done that for me when moving in, so I'd be shocked. Hopefully smoother than they were, but shocked.

That is sad. I once cooked an entire dinner for a new neighbor moving in. She looked to be about to give birth at any moment and it was hotter than hades. I also brought them (And the movers ice water and iced tea.) Sorry you don't have nice neighbors.

I think my neighbors are perfectly nice. I have no idea who they are - lived here four years. Don't even know when a neighbor moves in or out. Nice means different things to different people. Sometimes it means bringing baked goods and welcoming someone to the neighborhood and sometimes it means giving people space and privacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in four states, and nobody has ever done that for me when moving in, so I'd be shocked. Hopefully smoother than they were, but shocked.

That is sad. I once cooked an entire dinner for a new neighbor moving in. She looked to be about to give birth at any moment and it was hotter than hades. I also brought them (And the movers ice water and iced tea.) Sorry you don't have nice neighbors.

I think my neighbors are perfectly nice. I have no idea who they are - lived here four years. Don't even know when a neighbor moves in or out. Nice means different things to different people. Sometimes it means bringing baked goods and welcoming someone to the neighborhood and sometimes it means giving people space and privacy.

OMG! This is the saddest thing. We are great friends with our neighbors and we all know each other by name. If there's an emergency in the middle of the night we have our pick of back ups or someone to drive us to the ER.
Besides, I need someone to drink wine with.

[Anonymous]

OP- nice of you!

[Anonymous]

Very sweet thought OP. A few of our neighbors did this and we were touched, but with all the food allergies in our house it ended up that we didn't eat anything. I feel rude asking about EVERY ingredient (not just nuts) and we can't risk cross contamination. My husband brought everything into work. I felt bad that they put the effort in.

Life threatening food allergies really put a damper in things. I tend to bring an assortment-small tea bread with every ingredient listed, some fruit and a welcome card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would love it if my neighbors did that for me.

+1

Nicely done, OP! They were awkward, but maybe they'll snap out of it.

[Anonymous]

We moved in to a new neighborhood in annandale in January. Two neighbors brought us baked goods. We really appreciated it. We had new neighbors move in a few months ago and we brought them cupcakes. They were very nice about it and we've become friends since.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's a lovely and traditional gesture and I've done it and had it done for me. And even if it's not in their tradition and they had never encountered it -- did they think you were there to poison them and perform a home invasion??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in four states, and nobody has ever done that for me when moving in, so I'd be shocked. Hopefully smoother than they were, but shocked.

That is sad. I once cooked an entire dinner for a new neighbor moving in. She looked to be about to give birth at any moment and it was hotter than hades. I also brought them (And the movers ice water and iced tea.) Sorry you don't have nice neighbors.

I think my neighbors are perfectly nice. I have no idea who they are - lived here four years. Don't even know when a neighbor moves in or out. Nice means different things to different people. Sometimes it means bringing baked goods and welcoming someone to the neighborhood and sometimes it means giving people space and privacy.

Space and privacy are one thing; having "no idea who they are" after four years doesn't sound very neighborly. I'd be curious to hear your description of "being nice" to a neighbor. In our 50 year old neighborhood that has people of just about all ages, we don't intrude but certainly wave when walking, know each others' names, assist in an emergency, have a few neighborhood get-togethers each year, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in four states, and nobody has ever done that for me when moving in, so I'd be shocked. Hopefully smoother than they were, but shocked.

That is sad. I once cooked an entire dinner for a new neighbor moving in. She looked to be about to give birth at any moment and it was hotter than hades. I also brought them (And the movers ice water and iced tea.) Sorry you don't have nice neighbors.

I think my neighbors are perfectly nice. I have no idea who they are - lived here four years. Don't even know when a neighbor moves in or out. Nice means different things to different people. Sometimes it means bringing baked goods and welcoming someone to the neighborhood and sometimes it means giving people space and privacy.

Space and privacy are one thing; having "no idea who they are" after four years doesn't sound very neighborly. I'd be curious to hear your description of "being nice" to a neighbor. In our 50 year old neighborhood that has people of just about all ages, we don't intrude but certainly wave when walking, know each others' names, assist in an emergency, have a few neighborhood get-togethers each year, etc.

Okay. I don't live in the suburbs. I live in a city, on one of those blocks you wouldn't feel safe walking along at night if you were alone. This is an apartment building, not a house. There are emergencies here fairly often I assume, based on how often I see blood all over the hallways and stairs, a stretcher in the "lobby" or EMT people outside. Nobody here waves, except maybe a toddler or little kid. I recognize one neighbor - we've run into each other at a bus stop, and we smiled at each other and said hi and bye, but don't really talk. I don't know her name. There are certainly no neighborhood get-togethers - I ... can't even imagine.

BTW, I grew up in the suburbs, in a house in an upper-middle class neighborhood. No neighbors ever assisted in emergencies and again, there were never any neighborhood get-togethers. Oh wait, one time I didn't have a key when I came home and needed the bathroom - our next door neighbor let me in to use theirs and then I awkwardly sat on their couch while he watched the Oliver North trials.

To me, being nice is holding the door, offering to help carry something heavy up or down the stairs, letting someone else go first on the stairs, etc. When I see really young kids playing in the hallway alone I always ask if their parents know where they are, just to make sure. Hey and here's a fun fact - across the board, the non-white people in my building are nicer than the whites (I'm white).

[Anonymous]

Our new neighbors came to us with baked goods when they moved in. They attached a little card introducing themselves with their new address and phone numbers and children's names. I thought it was wonderful!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've lived in four states, and nobody has ever done that for me when moving in, so I'd be shocked. Hopefully smoother than they were, but shocked.

That is sad. I once cooked an entire dinner for a new neighbor moving in. She looked to be about to give birth at any moment and it was hotter than hades. I also brought them (And the movers ice water and iced tea.) Sorry you don't have nice neighbors.

I think my neighbors are perfectly nice. I have no idea who they are - lived here four years. Don't even know when a neighbor moves in or out. Nice means different things to different people. Sometimes it means bringing baked goods and welcoming someone to the neighborhood and sometimes it means giving people space and privacy.

Space and privacy are one thing; having "no idea who they are" after four years doesn't sound very neighborly. I'd be curious to hear your description of "being nice" to a neighbor. In our 50 year old neighborhood that has people of just about all ages, we don't intrude but certainly wave when walking, know each others' names, assist in an emergency, have a few neighborhood get-togethers each year, etc.

Okay. I don't live in the suburbs. I live in a city, on one of those blocks you wouldn't feel safe walking along at night if you were alone. This is an apartment building, not a house. There are emergencies here fairly often I assume, based on how often I see blood all over the hallways and stairs, a stretcher in the "lobby" or EMT people outside. Nobody here waves, except maybe a toddler or little kid. I recognize one neighbor - we've run into each other at a bus stop, and we smiled at each other and said hi and bye, but don't really talk. I don't know her name. There are certainly no neighborhood get-togethers - I ... can't even imagine.

BTW, I grew up in the suburbs, in a house in an upper-middle class neighborhood. No neighbors ever assisted in emergencies and again, there were never any neighborhood get-togethers. Oh wait, one time I didn't have a key when I came home and needed the bathroom - our next door neighbor let me in to use theirs and then I awkwardly sat on their couch while he watched the Oliver North trials.

To me, being nice is holding the door, offering to help carry something heavy up or down the stairs, letting someone else go first on the stairs, etc. When I see really young kids playing in the hallway alone I always ask if their parents know where they are, just to make sure. Hey and here's a fun fact - across the board, the non-white people in my building are nicer than the whites (I'm white).

We've lived in apartments in bad neighborhoods and we still knew our neighbors.

[Anonymous]

I would love to have you as my neighbor... What an oddball response they gave you.

[Anonymous]

OP, they were the rude ones. Carry on as usual and don't let these people ruin your perceptions or future gracious behavior.