Would you be ok with your child not getting married/having kids?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| She does not need to get married to have a child! That is the path I am currently on! |
Anonymous
| I have 3 kids. As long as one of them had kids, I'd be fine. I'd want to see/hold/play etc with one grandchild. But otherwise, I'd want my kids to just be happy. |
Anonymous
| Interesting. As someone who got married at 39 and pregnant at 40 (and whose parents have never really pressured me to get married) I am now realizing just how thrilled my parents really are!! |
Anonymous
I have two daughters, but I can see what this poster means. If I only had one, I probably would feel sad to never experience some things in life, like being a grandma, being the mother of the bride, etc. But if my child was happy, that would be all that mattered to me. |
Anonymous
|
OP how old is your daughter?
I am a twin -- I had two kids in my early forties after one failed marriage/divorce; didn't plan this life but I have to accept it My twin is a loving "mom" to four dogs, 12 birds and four ferrets. I think we both secretively envy each others' life but dont' "really" want it. Let it go, you don't know what the future holds and for GFS don't project your own desires. |
Anonymous
| My relationship with my parents has changed quite a bit after having kids. I have a lot more understanding of what it must have been like for them, and now we connect on an entirely different level. I hope to have that even deeper connection with my kids some day. I will of course love them no matter what, but I do hope to experience grandkids some day. |
Anonymous
| I would not be okay with it, but there will be nothing I can do. I certainly would not push him to marry the wrong person, just to get married and have kids. |
Anonymous
She's 17. I'm not holding on to anything nor am I projecting my own desires on to her. I'm just observing. I have never pressured her to get married or have any kids. |
Anonymous
| I'd be a little disappointed, but like others have said, if she were happy then I'd be happy for her. Anyway, I have three kids. One of the advantages is that it takes the pressure off any one kid to fulfill all of their parents' aspirations or dreams. |
Anonymous
|
I have one child and will be about 45 when that child graduates college. We plan to have no more children.
I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to be an active, involved, close by grandparent at age 50 or 55. Or 60. Or whatever. But if my child decides not to go that route, I'll figure out another way to be around young people and children. It won't be the same, and it will be sad for me in some ways, but I realize this isn't about me, you know? That all said, it's unlikely I won't have grandkids so I don't think about it often. |
Anonymous
|
I'm 40 and have never been married. I have a ton of friends (some of them for 30 years) and am still on good terms with a fair number of my exes, and I don't think there's actually anything wrong with me. I'm just really independent and have a hard time finding guys who interest me enough to date them for very long. I do wish I was married and still hold out hope it might happen.
I did have a baby at 36 with a guy I was dating. (we soon broke up.) I'd be ok with my daughter taking whatever path, but I hope she is happy! I'd hate for her to have regrets or wish things were different. I'd also be ok if she was gay, again, as long as she was happy. |
Anonymous
| Mom of an only here. I hope that whatever happens, I support my child in a non-judgmental way. But if I'm honest, I do hope he finds a committed life partner - don't care if they marry - so he has someone to love him and have his back, so to speak. I also very much hope for grandkids, whether he marries or not (although of course my preference is that the grandkids are product of a committed relationship). Unfortunately I've learned that much of life is letting go of the picture one has for it and enjoying it as it really plays out, so I try not to project too much what the future will bring. |
Anonymous
I wouldn't say I would be thrilled, but I would be more fine with them not being married than not ever getting to hold the baby of my (one and only) baby. Now I understand the push to have a kid once you've found a partner from the older members of your family! |
Anonymous
| I have two wonderful little boys and DH and I are already incorporating the importance of "finding a nice girl and getting married" into talks with them about the future...along with college, grad school and travel! |
Anonymous
| If my kid was happy, I would be fine with it. |