Is a nice big house really worth it when an older, smaller one is totally adequate?

[Anonymous]

I think you are really insecure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in a small 1925 home that is prefectly adequate for a family of four. Don't really care about the status thing. I am happy to not be forced to work full time (have had to not work or work part time due to special needs child) and not being stressed to the max to be able to pay the mortgage.

Same here, but we are in a 1952 rambler. Working full-time, I made 3x what DH does (he's a teacher) but I have no interest in golden handcuffs, so we underbought relative to our income. I now work part-time and we live in a nice house. To my knowledge my teens don't feel stigma for having "only" 2200sf of living space.

[Anonymous]

we are in that same position too - it's not a totally crazy question. that said, we're not worried about stigma on our kids, but on what we will like best as our 3 kids get bigger and have different and changing needs. we moved from an apartment in NYC before living in Bethesda (we're renting now) and so having a house seems pretty overwhelming and we are not sure yet what will really make us happy in terms of how we want to live. Also, to the poster who bought the small house and renovated after waiting, the market is terrible right now. we've been looking for exactly that same sort of house in Bethesda for 14 months, and they all either go in a bidding war or are not structured/priced in a way that makes a "careful" renovation possible for someone who can't spend more than $1.2 total. Plus, construction loans are harder and harder to get, and a renovation for a family in which both parents work full time is really a lot to take on and not necessarily the answer for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, if you get a new bigger home that will be energy certified and actually have more efficient climate control. In regards to out of pocket costs the chances of major repairs and maintenance are higher with older vs newer. I don't really care about social status I care about what's economically a good investment and maximized space for my family.

[Anonymous]

What do you think of people who live in smaller split levels? Do you think of them as having lower "status" or "standing in the community"?
It is possible that you are afraid others will judge you and your children on your house size and type because you yourself form judgements of others on this basis.
I think most people don't care whether their friends live in mansions or split levels or even apartments but prefer to judge others on the strength of their characters. Most people don't choose their friends by their "status" or "standing in the community."
Buy the type of house that you prefer and can afford. Make it warm and cozy and comfortable and it will be a place that you and your family can be happy.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in an 1100 sq. foot mid century ranch. I had lots of friends over and I never suffered. I am raising 4 kids in a 1600 sq. ranch and it almost seems like a mansion to me. I think loving what you have is the best thing you can teach a child.

[Anonymous]

^^just to add, I was the daughter of a lawyer and a physician. My parents could afford a big house, but they raised us in that particular home so they could afford other things. It was a idyllic childhood.

[Anonymous]

"Make it warm and cozy and comfortable and it will be a place that you and your family can be happy."

OP is waay too tightly wound to ever do this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you need to think long and hard about what type of values you're teaching your children if you even remotely think this type of question should influence what type of house you buy...

+ 10000000

[Anonymous]

If this is serious what a twisted question...social stigma based on how nice/big your house is? Wth

Koreans. Spend some time within the Korean community in Fairfax

[Anonymous]

I hope you are the sociology student, and that you wrote the second post, too.

Do people really think like this?

[Anonymous]

I always thought the small, older colonials that are all over the DC area had more "style" than ramblers or split levels. OP, why not consider a small colonial, and maybe build a small addition?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are looking to buy in an area where starter homes are $ 800k and the average sale price is $ 1.2M. We have 300k savings. We could actually afford the monthly payments on a 1.2M house (HHI 400k, no debt). I just hate the idea of spending 7k every month for 15 years when we could be spending 3k.

To those of you with older kids: how much stigma do your children experience if you live in a 1950s split-level instead of a 4000 sq ft home dating from the early 2000s? I am aware that the home is the nr. 1 status symbol. Would my child feel more self-confident inviting friends over to the 4000 sq ft home instead of the 1600 sq ft split-level or rambler? Is that worth 400k + interest + increased real-estate taxes?

Apart from the children, how much do you think your own standing in the community is affected by what kind of house do you have?

We plan to live in our next house for at least 20 years, so I do not consider it an investment. Even if we buy the more expensive house, the upkeep will have cost so much by the time we sell it that I do not expect to make any profit.

You should speak to 3-4 lenders and get pre approved for a $800k-$1.4k property. For our $1.35k property we could have had $4.3k piti for a 10 yr I/O loan or $5.5k monthly piti for a 30 yr fixed.
We went for the long term house, no regrets.

[Anonymous]

With respect to status symbol and stigma, I'd bet that depends on the area and your social milieu. We live in Vienna, which has a mix of houses, at both extremes. DC (public middle school) has a mix of friends living in a range of houses; there is no discussion of stigma or status among them, with respect to houses, in her crowd.

It might be different if you were at one of the big-name privates, in a wealthier area, but I'm just speculating. Mostly it seems like the kids have other things to talk about, and their own measures of status.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the helpful advice re older colonials and fixer-uppers.

For the rest of you, here's some background info: I grew up in a (non-immigrant) community where kids constantly were saying "we live in "fill in with name of posh neighborhood". This is not about the "values" that I teach my own kids but a regrettable fact of life.

In any case, it is nice to know that we will live among such nice and non-judgmental people.