Please tell me I'm being ridiculous....MIL issue
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Anonymous
| You RSVPd that you'd go. You're an adult and can manage a few hrs of not (yet) knowing people. Put on your big-girl knickers, learn how to make small talk, and go. |
Anonymous
| Oh, one of the PPs is so right. This is a great chance to get to know extended family without your MIL or SIL around. Enjoy! |
Anonymous
Another vote for you going, trying to get to know some of those folks, enjoy the refreshments, and know you are doing the courteous and adult thing. If you go, will you post an update afterward letting us know how it went? 
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Anonymous
| OP here - haha I will post an update after I go. i'm sure it will be interesting. To one of the PPs, the aunt knows the real reason why we aren't attending the wedding. She's still bashing us even though DH told his cousin how sorry he was but he was in his friend's wedding and they'd picked the date over a year ago!! |
Anonymous
I agree. I totally WOULD NOT GO. Just send regrets and a gift. |
Anonymous
| Why not go? They extended olive branch to you OP and you rsvp'd yes. Attend. |
Anonymous
| OP here - I said I'd update after the shower. It was SO MUCH WORSE than I possibly could have imagined. Cousin's mother (the one who is badmouthing DH and I because we cannot attend) has decided she hates her soon to be DIL. I arrived at the aunt's house yesterday to go with one of the other aunt's (K) and the grandmother. Cousin's mom (CM) had decided to boycott the shower because she doesn't like her soon to be DIL. 2 other aunts( A and B) showed up and we followed them to the shower. A and B spent the entire 3 hours tormenting and harassing the poor bride. They made loud, obnoxious comments about the food, decorations, chairs, you name it. They took pictures of everything and sent them to CM to laugh about it. While the bride was opening presents, they took pictures under the table so that the shot was up her skirt (FWIW, she was wearing a mid thigh length dress, so nothing terribly short) and sent them to CM. Then while the bride was opening all the gifts, they were loudly saying mean things to her (along the lines of whenever she opened a present related to kitchenware they would snidely say she doesn't even know how to cook, shouldn't be eating much anyways, hows the wedding diet going etc etc). K and I were HORRIFIED. I don't think I have ever been so uncomfortable in my entire life. Keep in mind that the aunts are in their mid 50s. I just hope I wasn't associated with them! |
Anonymous
| go. you RSVPd you'd go. just because MIL is being rude, you shouldn't be. |
Anonymous
| Umm..21:02...refer to 20:55, Op went to the shower yesterday. |
Anonymous
I am thinking troll, would real people take up skirt photos? And would people know those were being electronically transmitted and say/do nothing? It sounds more like hazing than family occasion. Hoping OP is abored teen. |
Anonymous
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Wow, that is awful.
As uncomfortable as you were, it probably helped that there was at least one person there who wasn't being a massive asshole. |
Anonymous
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21:13...I wish I was a troll. SIL had an unplanned baby in college. At her baby shower, those two aunts gave her a dozen boxes of condoms as her present with a card that said apparently she needs those more than she needs a gift. Poor girl started crying.
Some people are just like that. DH described them perfectly. They grew up in the same town where they live now. Their only friends are each other. Anyone who appears better off than them or is more worldly than them is hazed and treated horribly. One of the aunt's sons married an absolutely gorgeous girl from LA with two masters, a high 6 figure job, and is all around a great person. I would be thrilled if I had a son who married someone like her. Groom's mom walked out in the middle of the reception and got on a cruise the next day. |
Anonymous
| Also 21:13, they were seated at the end of the table and were hiding what they were doing. From anyone's angle it would have looked like they were taking pictures of the gifts/people. About halfway through the gift giving one of the bride's aunts came and sat behind them to try to deter them from saying things. Poor groom came back to the house as it was wrapping up and found out what happened. I booked it out of there after he stormed off and no one could find him. |
Anonymous
| If you think this all got back to the bride, and you found an opportune moment, you might say something to her along the lines of, "Apologies for Aunts A&B. They can be like that to all of us." |
Anonymous
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OP here - I was trying to figure out what to do with regards to reaching out to the bride. DH says to let it go because if it gets back to his aunts that I did it, their nastiness will be coming for me next. And since we are TTC, I think he's worried what will happen. I don't think he's aware that I have no intention of ever letting them attend any event for me.
Does anyone have any good suggestions? I was thinking of sending a message on FB just reiterating that I had a great time, apologizing for their behavior, and saying DH and I would like to take them out for dinner sometime since we will not be able to attend their wedding. Is this ok? should I do a handwritten note instead? |