"You're not as hot as when we got married"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not be mad about it, unless it was said in a mean or nasty way. I'm not as hot as I was when I got married. Almost no one is as hot age age 40 after 2 kids as they were at age 27 with no kids. If my husband said I was just as hot as I used to be, he would be lying.

I don't care if my husband lies about this. I am in my 40's and he tells me almost every day that I have never looked better in my life. He might be lying but I choose to believe him and this is part of the reason we have a very active sex life. He makes me feel hot.

[Anonymous]

My DH is 52; is she as perfectly hot as when I met her and she was 19? No.

But is she hot and do I still want to get down with her often? Yes.

She knows I think she's hot -- whether hotter than at 19 or 29 is irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

ooops ... lol ... the PP should read "my DW...." ;-o

[Anonymous]

I don't care if my husband lies about this. I am in my 40's and he tells me almost every day that I have never looked better in my life. He might be lying but I choose to believe him and this is part of the reason we have a very active sex life. He makes me feel hot.

That's cool, and it may well be true for you. I know my husband finds me attractive, and I still feel attractive. I'm just not as "hot" as I was 15 years ago. And I'm fine with that, it doesn't bother me.

[Anonymous]

You are getting plastic surgery....you know you aren't what you used to be. How could you think your husband would think any differently?

[Anonymous]

You'll get him back the next time he asks you if he has bad breath.

[Anonymous]

Yes, a man who comments on a woman's weight is abusive. Everybody knows that.

[Anonymous]

A couple of thoughts, OP. I also lost a huge amount of weight. Your skin on your belly is going to sag. A lot. Especially after two pregnancies. It's called a panniculus in medical terms. So no, the plastic surgeon is not just out to make a buck. And it is noticeable. So I would talk to a few surgeons and get some references from friends. You will feel and look much better after a tummy tuck.

As for your DH, he was not diplomatic. He was too blunt. It's his job to buck you up, not lower your spirits. That's what my DH did when I was in your shoes.

[Anonymous]

BTW OP, I went to Dr. Susan Otero for my surgery. She was great.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be dubious about a plastics doc dealing with the extra skin. You don't really want a Gyn or GI surgeon doing that for you during your other surgery. It's just not part of their training.

I would be dubious about his reply, which sounds unnecessarily harsh.

[Anonymous]

OP is immature and her DH sounds like a douche.

[Anonymous]

I think his comment was mean. My DH read the title of this thread over my shoulder and he looked at me and said "I find you hotter now than when we first got married". Whether or not that is true - that is what you man should tell you! I too have had two kids and weight about 15 lbs more than my size 4 (which was my pre marriage size). We have been married 11 years.

[Anonymous]

"your" man.

[Anonymous]

I complain so much about my DH but am going to give him a big hug. He knows that my fragile ego needs the lies to survive. If he said this to me I would make him burn when he least expected it. Yes, I'm insecure. Maintaining the illusion of my desirability is a big part of his job description.

[Anonymous]

Why do women ask questions that they don't really want the answer to? He said he still finds you very attractive. Why isn't that enough for you? He was honest, that should be something should be commended.