Why do so many of you NW adults have Trust Funds or get parental help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you amassed wealth and knew it would be taken largely in estate taxes, you would be looking for ways to transfer the money now before you die too.

+1 and parent had trust fund (and worked even though they didn't have to).

[Anonymous]

My Ils offer $$ but we turn it down bc it comes with strings: their involvement in our lives. Maybe if it did not come with strings, it would be different. (But no, it's not in the level of a downpayment or anything like that so we're not talking about anything on those levels.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are just jealous but you don't realize it. You disguise it by saying you are so proud to be independent or whatever else.

I take gifts from my parents because 1) they offer 2) they can afford it. Why would I decline? That would be dumb. "I am so proud, I will turn down this down payment and save for 20 years myself. I hope inflation doesn't hit". Ummm no. "Trips for my kids?!? Absolutely not!!"

But I also don't discuss it with nosy little twits who have nothing better to do than to count my funds.

I can assure you, I am not jealous. I genuinely do not care. I am answering the questions since my friends announce it to me because they don't seem to think it is a big deal. I tend to agree with them. My DH would not agree because he thinks it is disingenuous. I am not a "nosy little twit" as you inferred because I don't bring up money and am generally bored by discussions of money. Wow, I didn't think people would get a chip on their shoulders because of this though. Lighten up, jiggles!

[Anonymous]

i don't know what the big deal is. if the parents have $ and want to share it, so be it. i think the hypocrisy is when these children turn out to judge others who are trying to make it on their own or act snobbishly towards those less fortunate. that is the real problem.

[Anonymous]

I don't think this is unique to NW--I have friends in Maryland who could never afford the area where they live if it weren't for their parents.

That's fine I guess but one friend in particular bugs me when she talks down to me about how she is so glad they were able to get into the school district they are in now because she couldn't imagine sending her kids to school in her former district (where I live).

Then again, her mom basically picked out her house and told them where they were going to live so that kind of money rarely comes for "free".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is unique to NW--I have friends in Maryland who could never afford the area where they live if it weren't for their parents.

That's fine I guess but one friend in particular bugs me when she talks down to me about how she is so glad they were able to get into the school district they are in now because she couldn't imagine sending her kids to school in her former district (where I live).

Then again, her mom basically picked out her house and told them where they were going to live so that kind of money rarely comes for "free".

It may not be unique per se but the huge concentration of them live there. There are cheaper portions of Maryland but most of "Upper" NW is filled with trust fund children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you amassed wealth and knew it would be taken largely in estate taxes, you would be looking for ways to transfer the money now before you die too.

+1 and parent had trust fund (and worked even though they didn't have to).

Nah. A good estate lawyer can protect the money through trusts and other means, and rich people can afford good estate lawyers who get them under whatever the taxable amount is for the year in question (it's been changing since 2001). Plus, there are limits to how much you can transfer to your kids every year before it becomes taxable. Finally, "old money" as a PP called it is all about preserving the capital and instead spending out of income, which hopefully is significant.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's other people's business. I'm not a trust fund baby, but my parents and in-laws give us a nice check every year, plus smaller checks here and there. We don't need it (BigLaw) but it's nice.

[Anonymous]

Why do you care how other people get their money? They're not doing anything illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is unique to NW--I have friends in Maryland who could never afford the area where they live if it weren't for their parents.

That's fine I guess but one friend in particular bugs me when she talks down to me about how she is so glad they were able to get into the school district they are in now because she couldn't imagine sending her kids to school in her former district (where I live).

Then again, her mom basically picked out her house and told them where they were going to live so that kind of money rarely comes for "free".

It certainly isn't true in my area of Barnaby Woods. Most families that I know have to working parents.

It may not be unique per se but the huge concentration of them live there. There are cheaper portions of Maryland but most of "Upper" NW is filled with trust fund children.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Jealous much???

[Anonymous]

We bought our first home in NW and did not get help from anyone.

For those that do---Much of NW is private school territory. Most of those people come from generations of private school. We bought in Georgetown where there were some obscenely wealthy people whose families have lived there for generations.

[Anonymous]

I have nothing against family wealth and I think it is great that families pass along what they have. I expect to inherit something someday from my parents and I expect I will leave money to my children. Neither I nor DH come from family money, although there are some in DH's family that are very high earners that have significant net worth, all of it earned.

My parents raised me in a stable and educated home, gave me exposure to many experiences, paid for my undergraduate education and helped in many additional ways over the years that I am very appreciative of, not the least of which is an extraordinary amount of free babysitting (not daily but regularly). They did not give me a house downpayment.

When there is a perceived sense of superiority that someone has nice things or houses as compared to someone else and the "nicer" version was purchased with family money the sense of superiority is misplaced. It is easy to spend other peoples money, so not actually impressive.

People who "could not imagine" sending their kids to public school (expressed in conversation with neighbors that do) but that do not actually pay the bill irritate me. It is the wonder that anyone would send their kids to public by someone that could not even afford to buy in our neighborhood let alone their nicer house if not for their parents money that makes me snicker.

I also have friends where paying for their child to go to private school is actually a significant personal expense and reflects hard choices. I completely respect their choices for their family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's other people's business. I'm not a trust fund baby, but my parents and in-laws give us a nice check every year, plus smaller checks here and there. We don't need it (BigLaw) but it's nice.

Why is it "nice"? If you don't need it, why accept money you don't need?

I'd never accept money from my in-laws. It always comes with strings attached.

I do have an issue with trust fund babies looking down on those less fortunate. I don't know why inherited wealth gives them a feeling of superiority, but it does. I have relatives in upper NW who inherited a LOT of money (on both sides) and are extremely snotty and condescending. I don't get it. What did they do to deserve their nice house, nice vacations, nice summer house, private schools, country clubs, what?? They work, yes, but make very little at their jobs (social worker and p.r. for a non-profit). I don't mind them having all this money and spending it, but I do mind the condescending attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many highly educated adults in this part of town still getting handouts from their parents, driving up the price of real estate.

Hey, look on the bright side. Your kids' time will come.