Why do so many of you NW adults have Trust Funds or get parental help?

[Anonymous]

I don't think people are being very precise in how they are using "getting parental help" on this thread. There is a big difference between getting some money from your parents for a downpayment or a check once a year that pays for a vacation or some tuition because it is good tax planning on the part of the parents. I can't imagine that many people really have a problem with people who get this kind of help. These people still go to work, save for their own retirement, their kid's educations, their leisure activities.

I can understand being irritated by adults who have never held a job, don't provide anything productive to the world, and would be helpless without the money that is given to them by their parents to cover their basic living expenses.

The people who are getting worked up on this thread about other people's entitlement seem to be conflating these two very different scenarios.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still confused about the hostility. Altogether, we get about $100K from both sets of parents each year. When our parents pass away, me and my sibling will inherit their estate anyway. So they are giving some of it to us now. Should we not inherit their estate?

How about
One parent passes away
Surviving parent remarries

You inherit nothing.....

Not impossible

Happens all the time and the children end up fighting spouse in court.

Or all the money goes to pay for nursing home expenses.

[Anonymous]

I think you put it well, 20:06. Plus there's a way in which I don't get the bitterness about the trust fund types who haven't worked and truly are spoiled. My ex BIL was one of them. I don't care if he got everything handed to him. I'm just glad my sister divorced him. She saw first hand the corrosive effects of too much money on a person.

I don't feel jealous of those kinds of people at all, just deeply grateful that I'm not one of them. I don't have time to feel bitter towards them. They are completely irrelevant to my world.

[Anonymous]

It seems to me there are several interesting things going on on this thread.

1. Many people are financially strained. Some of them react to that by becoming angry and bitter at those who are better off, particularly those who get money from their families that they didn't have to work for. This is kind of understandable, but unproductive and annoying to read/hear.

2. Some, like the PP who needs $26,000 to save her house, are financially strained, are not bitter, but find it painful to hear about adults who get tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars a year from their families and seem to write it off as not a big deal. This I think is totally understandable and heart-wrenching.

3. Some are not financially strained and recognize their good fortune and the ways in which their money makes their lives easier. They realize that even if they do not live an extravagant lifestyle, having enough or more than enough money means they can afford to own a house, save for retirement, not worry about bankruptcy due to health crises, go on trips, help their kids with college, stay home with their kids if they choose to, etc. They realize they are incredibly lucky, regardless of whether they made the money or got it from family.

4. Some have a lot of money and go to great lengths to explain why they deserve it, and/or the money has not made their lives any different. This is obnoxious, and also, I think, morally dangerous. If someone who gets $26,000 a year from their family don't realize how much easier that makes her life, they are likely not aware of or sensitive to, for instance, the need for charity and a government safety net for people for whom a fraction of that money would change their entire lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you put it well, 20:06. Plus there's a way in which I don't get the bitterness about the trust fund types who haven't worked and truly are spoiled. My ex BIL was one of them. I don't care if he got everything handed to him. I'm just glad my sister divorced him. She saw first hand the corrosive effects of too much money on a person.

I don't feel jealous of those kinds of people at all, just deeply grateful that I'm not one of them. I don't have time to feel bitter towards them. They are completely irrelevant to my world.

For example: http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/uk-police-eva-rausing-wife-of-billionaire-tetrapak-heir-found-dead-in-west-london-home/2012/07/11/gJQAxzoKcW_story.html

[Anonymous]

Thoughtful post, 14:32!

[Anonymous]

My parents are giving us the maximum allowed gift amount per year, as a way to pass along the wealth to the kids and grandkids before their deaths so the estate tax will not take as much of it then. It was what they wanted, and it is helping us pay down our mortgage on a regular middle class house, and I have to say it did not occur to us to say no to them for philosophical reasons as some people here are suggesting. Furthermore, we will be happy to help take care of them financially in their old age if they need it. In fact, we already help take care of my in-laws. Families share money, that's the deal, at least for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still confused about the hostility. Altogether, we get about $100K from both sets of parents each year. When our parents pass away, me and my sibling will inherit their estate anyway. So they are giving some of it to us now. Should we not inherit their estate?

How about
One parent passes away
Surviving parent remarries

You inherit nothing.....

Not impossible

love this!

May it be this way for many on this board.

Why would you wish that on anyone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still confused about the hostility. Altogether, we get about $100K from both sets of parents each year. When our parents pass away, me and my sibling will inherit their estate anyway. So they are giving some of it to us now. Should we not inherit their estate?

How about
One parent passes away
Surviving parent remarries

You inherit nothing.....

Not impossible

love this!

May it be this way for many on this board.

Why would you wish that on anyone?

b/c your parents RAISED you

Do you expect them to care for you as adults?

People in this area are selfish assholes. I'd rather see my mother use her money on herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still confused about the hostility. Altogether, we get about $100K from both sets of parents each year. When our parents pass away, me and my sibling will inherit their estate anyway. So they are giving some of it to us now. Should we not inherit their estate?

How about
One parent passes away
Surviving parent remarries

You inherit nothing.....

Not impossible

love this!

May it be this way for many on this board.

Love this? What kind of deluded person writes that? You are an asshole rich or poor. Your nastiness is evident through your post.

It is what it is, you fool.

Do you think your parents OWE your their money?

They don't.

I hope you get nothing. I really do. I also don't care how rich or poor you are. YOU are the asshole for being so goddamn selfish.

[Anonymous]

Death is the greatest leveler.

[Anonymous]

I know a couple who own a home their parents bought for them in cash; both drive Range Rovers; she stays home and he barely works for the family biz and pulls a huge paycheck. Both are 29. It's annoying to hear about all the fabulous things they own and places they go but such is life. It takes all types to make the world go round.

I will inherit a large amount from my family estate, but I don't plan on it. I live self sufficiently. If I did need help, due to an emergency or unexpected change of circumstances, I woud accept it. For now, I feel pretty comfortable only accepting gifts that are wrapped and in a box.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents are giving us the maximum allowed gift amount per year, as a way to pass along the wealth to the kids and grandkids before their deaths so the estate tax will not take as much of it then. It was what they wanted, and it is helping us pay down our mortgage on a regular middle class house, and I have to say it did not occur to us to say no to them for philosophical reasons as some people here are suggesting. Furthermore, we will be happy to help take care of them financially in their old age if they need it. In fact, we already help take care of my in-laws. Families share money, that's the deal, at least for us.

fail at being an adult

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still confused about the hostility. Altogether, we get about $100K from both sets of parents each year. When our parents pass away, me and my sibling will inherit their estate anyway. So they are giving some of it to us now. Should we not inherit their estate?

How about
One parent passes away
Surviving parent remarries

You inherit nothing.....

Not impossible

love this!

May it be this way for many on this board.

Love this? What kind of deluded person writes that? You are an asshole rich or poor. Your nastiness is evident through your post.

It is what it is, you fool.

Do you think your parents OWE your their money?

They don't.

I hope you get nothing. I really do. I also don't care how rich or poor you are. YOU are the asshole for being so goddamn selfish.

You could use an extra dollar or two for anger management counseling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents are giving us the maximum allowed gift amount per year, as a way to pass along the wealth to the kids and grandkids before their deaths so the estate tax will not take as much of it then. It was what they wanted, and it is helping us pay down our mortgage on a regular middle class house, and I have to say it did not occur to us to say no to them for philosophical reasons as some people here are suggesting. Furthermore, we will be happy to help take care of them financially in their old age if they need it. In fact, we already help take care of my in-laws. Families share money, that's the deal, at least for us.

fail at being an adult

Are SAHM's adults, by your definition? We're talking about earning money to be self-sufficient, and not depending on another, regardless of their willingness to give/share that money. Correct ?