Why do so many of you NW adults have Trust Funds or get parental help?

[Anonymous]

Interesting the different philosophies. My parents not only didn't help with college, but they even stopped buying me clothes, etc... oncr I hit 15 and could have a part-time job. This was a combination of their patenting style (independence) and not having much money. On one hand it did help us mature and learn how to bugdet, make things work, always have a job, etc... ; however I think they took it to the extremes. I definitely am planning to do more to help my kids financially, but will balance I so they ate not stunted maturity wise. We are not nearly as wealthy as most on this thread, but we make enough to be comfortable, pay for kids college, and not be financially stressed.

We are in our low thirties and actually buy some things for my in-laws and fully except to have to partially support them in a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still confused about the hostility. Altogether, we get about $100K from both sets of parents each year. When our parents pass away, me and my sibling will inherit their estate anyway. So they are giving some of it to us now. Should we not inherit their estate?

How about
One parent passes away
Surviving parent remarries

You inherit nothing.....

Not impossible

love this!

May it be this way for many on this board.

Why would you wish that on anyone?

One of the super rich did once say in an interview, that for them to loose all the money, would be like a death in the family.

Still do not understand how the money could equal to a death of a family member. Reading this thread has shed some light onto it.
So many self centred people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still confused about the hostility. Altogether, we get about $100K from both sets of parents each year. When our parents pass away, me and my sibling will inherit their estate anyway. So they are giving some of it to us now. Should we not inherit their estate?

How about
One parent passes away
Surviving parent remarries

You inherit nothing.....

Not impossible

love this!

May it be this way for many on this board.

Love this? What kind of deluded person writes that? You are an asshole rich or poor. Your nastiness is evident through your post.

It is what it is, you fool.

Do you think your parents OWE your their money?

They don't.

I hope you get nothing. I really do. I also don't care how rich or poor you are. YOU are the asshole for being so goddamn selfish.

You could use an extra dollar or two for anger management counseling.

So I am angry b/c I will NOT take money from my mother, who's a widow? Yes, she has enough to keep her safe and healthy.

But apparently, b/c as an ADULT, I expect to be able to care for myself and my family, I am angry.

really?

Guess who's going to care for my mother when she becomes incapable of helping herself?

yes - I will be the caretaker.

Yet I'm angry, right?

There are assholes on this board, and I'm NOT in that category.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still confused about the hostility. Altogether, we get about $100K from both sets of parents each year. When our parents pass away, me and my sibling will inherit their estate anyway. So they are giving some of it to us now. Should we not inherit their estate?

How about
One parent passes away
Surviving parent remarries

You inherit nothing.....

Not impossible

love this!

May it be this way for many on this board.

Love this? What kind of deluded person writes that? You are an asshole rich or poor. Your nastiness is evident through your post.

It is what it is, you fool.

Do you think your parents OWE your their money?

They don't.

I hope you get nothing. I really do. I also don't care how rich or poor you are. YOU are the asshole for being so goddamn selfish.

You could use an extra dollar or two for anger management counseling.

So I am angry b/c I will NOT take money from my mother, who's a widow? Yes, she has enough to keep her safe and healthy.

But apparently, b/c as an ADULT, I expect to be able to care for myself and my family, I am angry.

really?

Guess who's going to care for my mother when she becomes incapable of helping herself?

yes - I will be the caretaker.

Yet I'm angry, right?

There are assholes on this board, and I'm NOT in that category.

You are angry because of your tone. The intergenerational passing on of wealth, and I am talking about real wealth in terms of tens of millions of dollars, has been the norm for centuries. Entitlement to one's family wealth isn't the issue, this has been happening since Plato; it's laziness that's the problem, which has also been happening since Plato. I think this very issue is specifically addressed in The Republic, something with Cephalus, though I cannot remember for the life of me.

[Anonymous]

My parents recently offered me money for the first time and I told them I can't take it. I just don't feel right about it. I have always felt that they paid for my education and that should be the end of it. My dad worked hard for his money and I want my parents to spend it all and enjoy retirement. I'm not judging any of you, just sharing my experience. Maybe I'm a fool but I just couldn't live with being a 35 year old married woman living off my parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting the different philosophies. My parents not only didn't help with college, but they even stopped buying me clothes, etc... oncr I hit 15 and could have a part-time job. This was a combination of their patenting style (independence) and not having much money. On one hand it did help us mature and learn how to bugdet, make things work, always have a job, etc... ; however I think they took it to the extremes. I definitely am planning to do more to help my kids financially, but will balance I so they ate not stunted maturity wise. We are not nearly as wealthy as most on this thread, but we make enough to be comfortable, pay for kids college, and not be financially stressed.

We are in our low thirties and actually buy some things for my in-laws and fully except to have to partially support them in a few years.

Wait, your parents completely cut you off when you turned 15 , but you will support your in-laws , they were different I assume? What about your parents? Will/would they come and ask you for money? Hopefully not!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me there are several interesting things going on on this thread.

1. Many people are financially strained. Some of them react to that by becoming angry and bitter at those who are better off, particularly those who get money from their families that they didn't have to work for. This is kind of understandable, but unproductive and annoying to read/hear.

2. Some, like the PP who needs $26,000 to save her house, are financially strained, are not bitter, but find it painful to hear about adults who get tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars a year from their families and seem to write it off as not a big deal. This I think is totally understandable and heart-wrenching.

3. Some are not financially strained and recognize their good fortune and the ways in which their money makes their lives easier. They realize that even if they do not live an extravagant lifestyle, having enough or more than enough money means they can afford to own a house, save for retirement, not worry about bankruptcy due to health crises, go on trips, help their kids with college, stay home with their kids if they choose to, etc. They realize they are incredibly lucky, regardless of whether they made the money or got it from family.

4. Some have a lot of money and go to great lengths to explain why they deserve it, and/or the money has not made their lives any different. This is obnoxious, and also, I think, morally dangerous. If someone who gets $26,000 a year from their family don't realize how much easier that makes her life, they are likely not aware of or sensitive to, for instance, the need for charity and a government safety net for people for whom a fraction of that money would change their entire lives.

Bravo!

[Anonymous]

New to this thread - I had no idea this was so common. So your parents just give you a check for like $50K every year or do you guys ask for it?

My dad helped me pay off some of my high interest student loans years ago, but not all of them, and I suppose if I asked for help with a down payment, he might help with that, but I don't need it. But they don't just hand over money for no reason. Hell, my parents don't even give us birthday presents anymore. It's weird to me that grown adults' parents will just hand them money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To answer 23:33:

Big checks hover around $50k per year from each. They also contribute max to our 529 plans so we don't actually save for our kids' college funds. Smaller checks are $5k for birthdays, Christmas, etc.

23:33 here. Thanks for being so candid!
I really think that is just nice and smart estate planning on your parents' part.

Aren't there gift tax issues on anything above $12,000? Do you or your parent have to pay taxes on the money they give you?

Or is it $12,000 per parent per person they are gifting it to?

[Anonymous]

So I am angry b/c I will NOT take money from my mother, who's a widow? Yes, she has enough to keep her safe and healthy.

But apparently, b/c as an ADULT, I expect to be able to care for myself and my family, I am angry.

really?

Guess who's going to care for my mother when she becomes incapable of helping herself?

yes - I will be the caretaker.

Yet I'm angry, right?

There are assholes on this board, and I'm NOT in that category.

It's really not that hard to understand. You are angry, and an asshole, because you wrote:

I hope you get nothing. I really do. I also don't care how rich or poor you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me there are several interesting things going on on this thread.

1. Many people are financially strained. Some of them react to that by becoming angry and bitter at those who are better off, particularly those who get money from their families that they didn't have to work for. This is kind of understandable, but unproductive and annoying to read/hear.

2. Some, like the PP who needs $26,000 to save her house, are financially strained, are not bitter, but find it painful to hear about adults who get tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars a year from their families and seem to write it off as not a big deal. This I think is totally understandable and heart-wrenching.

3. Some are not financially strained and recognize their good fortune and the ways in which their money makes their lives easier. They realize that even if they do not live an extravagant lifestyle, having enough or more than enough money means they can afford to own a house, save for retirement, not worry about bankruptcy due to health crises, go on trips, help their kids with college, stay home with their kids if they choose to, etc. They realize they are incredibly lucky, regardless of whether they made the money or got it from family.

4. Some have a lot of money and go to great lengths to explain why they deserve it, and/or the money has not made their lives any different. This is obnoxious, and also, I think, morally dangerous. If someone who gets $26,000 a year from their family don't realize how much easier that makes her life, they are likely not aware of or sensitive to, for instance, the need for charity and a government safety net for people for whom a fraction of that money would change their entire lives.

Bravo!

Wow, you really nailed it. That was fantastic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To answer 23:33:

Big checks hover around $50k per year from each. They also contribute max to our 529 plans so we don't actually save for our kids' college funds. Smaller checks are $5k for birthdays, Christmas, etc.

23:33 here. Thanks for being so candid!
I really think that is just nice and smart estate planning on your parents' part.

Aren't there gift tax issues on anything above $12,000? Do you or your parent have to pay taxes on the money they give you?

Or is it $12,000 per parent per person they are gifting it to?

I thought it was now $13000 per parent, so $26,000 can be gifted without tax to the gift receiver annually.

[Anonymous]

This was a sad thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was a sad thread

Why did you revive it? Now it's the norm to have some parental help to even afford NW/Bethesda/Northern VA... costs of housing and education are out of control. I don't see how anyone can afford the DMV anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many highly educated adults in this part of town still getting handouts from their parents, driving up the price of real estate.

NW is 100% MAGA now.