Please shed some light on the-unspoken-issue at sidwell with African American Boys

[Anonymous]

19:18, that's bull. Sad to see haters on this kind of a thread. We only succeed if we all succeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please speak up for perspective Sidwell AA students. DS accepted for 4th but truly concerned about his emotional well being. Our 2nd option is STA but he's not feeling it.

Send your DS to STA. At least the racists aren't in hiding there.

[Anonymous]

Disclaimer: I am not a Sidwell parent, nor am I AA, but I have had a few AA mothers complain to me about the way black boys are treated by the larger white society when they start to become men, as opposed to cute little babies or even 5 year olds. The complaints that have been shared with me heard came through a lot of hurt and, in some cases tears, and I thought it was my job to just listen, not debate. Here is what was shared with me, not just about Sidwell , but white society in general :

It is hurtful when behavior by a young male, who happens to be black, is reacted to in a way that reflects that the young person's behavior is somehow " unacceptable", " not up to expectation" etc.. when the ONLY difference between the way a black teen and a white teen behaved is their race.

My take on it was that AA parents are very sensitive to being rejected or having their son rejected for "acting black". The negative comments about their children ( as they age into adults ) is hurtful, because the AA parents thought their child has been in a predominately white school for many years, they thought that they were accepted, but being a minority, are sensitive to any slight and perceive that the negative feedback has more to do with racial stereotyping that actual behavior on part of their teen age black boy.

Then their is the reaction to dating. My own mother raised me to be color blind, yet treated me like she was dissapointed in me when I told her in college that my boyfriend was black. Sidwell isn't a big university, it is relatively small, and attitudes like this poison the well quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But do you think that Trig is Palin's baby? That's the real question.
[/quote

... or whether Romney really put his dog on the roof during that long trip to Canada when there was no room in the car because of Mitt's sister wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please speak up for perspective Sidwell AA students. DS accepted for 4th but truly concerned about his emotional well being. Our 2nd option is STA but he's not feeling it.

Send your DS to STA. At least the racists aren't in hiding there.

Wow, what a vicious comment aimed at two schools. How helpful of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:19:18, that's bull. Sad to see haters on this kind of a thread. We only succeed if we all succeed.

I think the comment that "if people always say Obama was not born in the U.S. and is communist, there must be something to it" was meant to suggest that not everything that is commonly said/suggested/floated must have a basis in fact. (Bottom line: not an anti-Obama comment.)

[Anonymous]

OP, if you're interested in these issues, you really should ask Sidwell admissions to put you in touch with the Diversity Coordinator and with parents of black students. http://www.sidwell.edu/about_sfs/diversity/index.aspx They can give you better info than what you'll find here. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please speak up for perspective Sidwell AA students. DS accepted for 4th but truly concerned about his emotional well being. Our 2nd option is STA but he's not feeling it.

Not an AA family so just a comment from a parent, but all of the AA boys in my daughter's Sidwell class have been there since K - no one has left... they seem to fit in as well as the rest of the students in her grade. I don't see an issue...the school is very diverse and despite the comments on DCUM, it can be a wonderful place. Go to the welcoming family reception, take another tour, ask to speak with other rising 4th grade parents currently at the School... hopefully you will agree/find it is a nice fit for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Disclaimer: I am not a Sidwell parent, nor am I AA, but I have had a few AA mothers complain to me about the way black boys are treated by the larger white society when they start to become men, as opposed to cute little babies or even 5 year olds. The complaints that have been shared with me heard came through a lot of hurt and, in some cases tears, and I thought it was my job to just listen, not debate. Here is what was shared with me, not just about Sidwell , but white society in general :

It is hurtful when behavior by a young male, who happens to be black, is reacted to in a way that reflects that the young person's behavior is somehow " unacceptable", " not up to expectation" etc.. when the ONLY difference between the way a black teen and a white teen behaved is their race.

My take on it was that AA parents are very sensitive to being rejected or having their son rejected for "acting black". The negative comments about their children ( as they age into adults ) is hurtful, because the AA parents thought their child has been in a predominately white school for many years, they thought that they were accepted, but being a minority, are sensitive to any slight and perceive that the negative feedback has more to do with racial stereotyping that actual behavior on part of their teen age black boy.

Then their is the reaction to dating. My own mother raised me to be color blind, yet treated me like she was dissapointed in me when I told her in college that my boyfriend was black. Sidwell isn't a big university, it is relatively small, and attitudes like this poison the well quickly.

Thank you, PP for posting. We're experiencing this now with our AA teen son.

[Anonymous]

I am so so sorry. Best move I have ever seen parents do in this case is to pull rank and bring in the highly successful AA father of the student and say up front that you belive in the mission of the school , but are concerned by X,Y, and Z and wonder what the school is actively doing to support the minorities which make up an important part of their community. Bring your minister with you . :) :)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please speak up for perspective Sidwell AA students. DS accepted for 4th but truly concerned about his emotional well being. Our 2nd option is STA but he's not feeling it.

Send your son to STA and stop overthinking it, Your 2nd option really?! It should be your first as its the best all boys school in the area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please speak up for perspective Sidwell AA students. DS accepted for 4th but truly concerned about his emotional well being. Our 2nd option is STA but he's not feeling it.

Send your son to STA and stop overthinking it, Your 2nd option really?! It should be your first as its the best all boys school in the area.

PP, why isn't your son feeling STA? There's a lot of camaraderie among the AA boys, the boys in general. I can't imagine any other school in the area that I would choose over STA. On many levels I'm glad that we took the leap when he was in 4th grade, I was extremely apprehensive initially.

[Anonymous]

I have been lifelong friends with an AA male who transferred from STA to Sidwell way back when. It was enlightening hearing about his experiences at STA. I would hope things have changed significantly since then.

[Anonymous]

22:11 didn't say he or she was AA, only that they have an AA son.

[Anonymous]

racist kids