Etiquette - I want to find out what schools my child's friends got into

[Anonymous]

I don't think there is anything wrong with asking, "So, have you figured out where Little Suzy will be going to school next year?" Perhaps I'd wait another week or two before doing so as people may still be reeling from rejection/waitlist letters. I agree that it's bad form to ask where another child was accepted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will naturally come out over the next several weeks. Just let it be. Anything else could be perceived as nosy.

+1

[Anonymous]

Agree. Keep you mouth SHUT! It really is not your business. And do NOT brag about what schools you were accepted at. Only mention the school you have chosen to attend. Within reason, decide early, so you can turn down the schools you will not accept. And that means others get off the wait list quicker. Do not hog the acceptances.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps best to let it go and start now to get to know the community of your new school. Surprise, it's not all the people you know through your DC's preschool.

[Anonymous]

People have been asking me like every day for the last two weeks. I assumed they love my dc and want to know if he will be in the same school as their precious snowflake. Do you mean people are asking because of competition?! *sarcasm alert!*

Just ask. Most people who don't have a large stick up their ass won't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Just ask. Most people who don't have a large stick up their ass won't care.

Beg to differ. Many will care. I wouldn't risk it. MYOB. It will come out in due time.

[Anonymous]

New poster here. Last year I wanted to know because I was hoping that nice parent friends and acquaintances would continue with us from preschool to elementary school. In choosing a school, I imagined my child's day there, and our logistics. That included whether neighborhood kids were at the school, and whether my child knew several classmates. So, like the OP, I would have said I was "curious." A number of families who know each other did send kids to the same school and we've become better friends with our kids in elementary school together. Nothing competitive about it. I think many on DCUM really assume the worst of people.

[Anonymous]

New poster here. Last year I wanted to know because I was hoping that nice parent friends and acquaintances would continue with us from preschool to elementary school. In choosing a school, I imagined my child's day there, and our logistics. That included whether neighborhood kids were at the school, and whether my child knew several classmates. So, like the OP, I would have said I was "curious." A number of families who know each other did send kids to the same school and we've become better friends with our kids in elementary school together. Nothing competitive about it. I think many on DCUM really assume the worst of people.

I like the nice and politically correct rationalization for your rush to satisfy your "curiosity". Two weeks (new parents meeting) is simply to long to be kept on pins and needles ... much like March 10 or April 14.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster here. Last year I wanted to know because I was hoping that nice parent friends and acquaintances would continue with us from preschool to elementary school. In choosing a school, I imagined my child's day there, and our logistics. That included whether neighborhood kids were at the school, and whether my child knew several classmates. So, like the OP, I would have said I was "curious." A number of families who know each other did send kids to the same school and we've become better friends with our kids in elementary school together. Nothing competitive about it. I think many on DCUM really assume the worst of people.

Seriously, if your nice parent friends wanted to continue to elementary school with your DC I would think you would have had a conversation with them (besides the imaginary one you had in your head) about it? Not being snarky but your posting was kinda creepy.

[Anonymous]

It’s such a really sensitive issue, I would not risk a friendship by asking someone who might be dealing with a rejection right now. They will like you all the more if you don’t flaunt your acceptances to them during this delicate period. As a PP mentioned, you’ll find out soon enough. Call your friends with kids already in schools or relatives and talk about it ad nauseum, but personally I would leave other applicant parents alone for a while.

[Anonymous]

Also, OP, please understand that while the admit/reject/WL are pretty much in, a lot of families are sorting out the financial piece and may not know where DC will be next year until the last aid letter arrives or other financial details are ironed out. These things come into play when making a decision and you don't want to create an uncomfortable moment with another parent.

[Anonymous]

Don't try to get that information out of other people. Bad manners. Bad karma for you. Try to be a nice person. Think how you would feel if your child didn't get in and someone forced you to discuss the rejection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

New poster here. Last year I wanted to know because I was hoping that nice parent friends and acquaintances would continue with us from preschool to elementary school. In choosing a school, I imagined my child's day there, and our logistics. That included whether neighborhood kids were at the school, and whether my child knew several classmates. So, like the OP, I would have said I was "curious." A number of families who know each other did send kids to the same school and we've become better friends with our kids in elementary school together. Nothing competitive about it. I think many on DCUM really assume the worst of people.

I like the nice and politically correct rationalization for your rush to satisfy your "curiosity". Two weeks (new parents meeting) is simply to long to be kept on pins and needles ... much like March 10 or April 14.

PP you're quoting here. I didn't ask anyone anything, I waited until people raised it with me, and for the admitted student parent meeting. I was only posting here (about my feeling of curiosity last year) because people seem to assume the worst about the OP, when I think there are wholly non-competitive reasons for wondering where our kids' friends will be heading to school. And what's creepy about wondering who your kid will be with? Who will be in the carpool? Seems odd not to be curious about that. These are some of the families we now spend much more time with, bot kids and parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some folk are nosey and others are private. As it should be. Good luck on your interrogatories or depositions of your friends. Some will tell you. Some will not. What will you do then. Issue a subpeona under oath?

Friends??? Who said anything about friends. The people she'd like to ask are in the drop-off and pick-up like at her DC'c preschool. If she asked me I tell her to GFY!

[Anonymous]

Imagine this scenario: " so, what school " Answer:

1) we don't know yet; we are on 2 WL's ( oh....)
2) we don't know yet: DC was shut out and our house is under water ( oh, gosh...)
3) we don't know yet, DC was accepted to first choice, but DH was just fired

Did that satisfy your "curiosity"

Go to the receptions.