Miss Jane vs. Ms. Smith vs. Jane vs. Mom - What do your kids friends call you?

[Anonymous]

I insist on being called by my first name. I don't see anything disrespectful in that.

[Anonymous]

i prefer when my kids' friends just use my first name. it feels weird and awkward to me, to be called "ms first name" or "ms last name". i don't like it and would much rather them use my first name only. seems to be working well for everyone so far. if other parents would prefer to be called miss last name or miss first name, i'd be happy to tell my kids that that is what the person wants to be called. i think the person being addressed should be able to decide what they are most comfortable with. i don't think it necessarily has to be the same for all adults and is a good lesson for kids that different people like to be called different things, and it's important to ask someone what they'd like to be called.

[Anonymous]

My kids are teens. Friends of my kids call me Mrs. Lastname. The kids of close family friends call me by my first name, and my kids call them by their first name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i think it is rude for children to call adults by their first name, but it seems prevalent in western culture with the exception of african american culture.i cringe when my white american friends tell their kids to refer to me by my first name. in other cultures, this is considered very rude and disrespectful.

What backward countries are these?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are teens. Friends of my kids call me Mrs. Lastname. The kids of close family friends call me by my first name, and my kids call them by their first name.

Same here.

I hate the Miss First Name thing. It reminds me of a servant/master kind of thing.

[Anonymous]

First name. But I know a few (just a handful--all international or African American) of parents from school who prefer to be called Ms. or Mrs. Lastname and Mr. Lastname, and I expect my kids to abide by the adults' preference. Their kids tend to call me Ms. Lastname, which I tolerate but it sounds very strange to my ears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i think it is rude for children to call adults by their first name, but it seems prevalent in western culture with the exception of african american culture.i cringe when my white american friends tell their kids to refer to me by my first name. in other cultures, this is considered very rude and disrespectful.

What backward countries are these?

spoken like a stereotypical closeted westerner who thinks the world revolves around them.

[Anonymous]

My kids are teens and their friends call me "Mrs. lastname", and they do the same to their friend's parents. It wouldn't feel right to me if they called me by my first name. I was raised to always call adults Mr. or Mrs.

[Anonymous]

my son generally uses Sir or ma'am

but he also uses Miss kids name mom.

I get miss sons last name (which isnt mine but i do answer to anyway since everyone from doctors to teachers to kids do it.

[Anonymous]

My best friends kids call me by my first name. Other friends kids call me mrs. LASTNAME.

[Anonymous]

I prefer being called by my first name. However, my children can call the adults they meet what the adult prefers. If I am not sure I ask, "What may DC call you?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i think it is rude for children to call adults by their first name, but it seems prevalent in western culture with the exception of african american culture.i cringe when my white american friends tell their kids to refer to me by my first name. in other cultures, this is considered very rude and disrespectful.

No, addressing adults by an honorific is common in Southern US culture, too.

I won't be having my kids call my adult friends by honorifics.

I remember the post where a poster said that her children's friends were not allowed to call her Ms. Susan, but Dr. Susan only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do the other kids call you?

It is a matter of teaching respect for their elders because children are not the equal of adults and my children call all adults by Mr. or Mrs and they also say Yes/n0 Ma'am and Yes/no, Sir.

PP, I'm curious what you mean by the bolded section. I really am curious, not trying to be snarky, because the child-adult relationship is one I have been giving a lot of thought to lately. I was raised to call adults Mr/Mrs ___ and always assumed that was just how it is, and that children must respect their elders, etc. But once I had a child I started re-thinking all of this. My daughter is a small, immature person who needs a lot of teaching, guidance, protecting, nurturing, etc. - but she is still a person. Why should she be treated as "less" than adults? Why should she have to bow down to adults? I agree that children should respect adults - but shouldn't adults respect children too? Isn't it just a matter of respecting other human beings?

As to the OP's inquiry, my DD is still a toddler and I have dodged the issue of what she calls adults so far since she is just starting to talk. But I'm going to have to figure this out soon!

[Anonymous]

DD is only 3, so we haven't had a lot of experience with this yet. The children of our closest friends refer to us as "Aunt" and "Uncle," although for some reason DD mostly calls them by their first names or by funny made-up names that are kind of an inside joke. DH is Brazilian and grew up calling all adults "Mr./Mrs. First name." He calls my parents this too. I think it's a nice sign of respect for elders, but it depends on the relationship and the age gap, in my opinion. I would probably never refer to an 80-year old by his/her first name, but maybe cultural norms are changing in this regard, as I would not be offended if my kids' friends end up just using my first name. I think we'll probably teach DD to use titles unless the person instructs us to use his or her first name.

[Anonymous]

"Jane" for most. "Miss Jane" for one or two. "Susie's mom" by her preschool classmates. I don't have a strong preference, but I want her to call all but the closest circle "Miss Jane" and "Mr. Tarzan" to show respect.