If another person acts like DS's autism and delays were just a dream and not real...

[Anonymous]

I'm right there with you, OP, and the PPs (except the Both Ways poster)! You've done a GREAT job and invest so much time and energy trying to educate yourself in order to make the best decisions for your DC - you rock!

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. I get this type of a response in a completely different context (people arguing with me that I can still have another child when I'm pushing 43 and was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure years ago), and sometimes its hard to just ignore their ignorance and not feel like I have to defend myself. But I think the best thing is just to ignore the comments and just know that you know what is true and that you've done you're best seeking medical help. It must be harder not having your DH on board, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Should I be happy that now his symptoms are so obvious that now they're shutting up?
Not really, I'm just waiting for someone in the family to say "if you had done such and such when he was younger, he wouldn't be this way". Strangle. I. Have. Done. Everything.

I can totally relate to this sentiment. Initially, my ILs (!) especially were very rude and judgmental about our decision even to have DS evaluated let alone (gasp) start ST. They thought we were going to do life-long harm by making him feel different. I heard all the typical excuses--he's a boy, he'll talk later; Einstein didn't talk until he was whatever age; he'll talk when he's ready; this is just his personality, etc. While DS has thankfully made lovely progress and I am grateful, fast forward a few years and there's no denying that he has "issues". Of course, never have my ILs ever acknowledged the huge sacrifices of TLC, time, money and stress we have put ourselves through to intervene aggressively. They don't help in any way, not even with moral support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Should I be happy that now his symptoms are so obvious that now they're shutting up?
Not really, I'm just waiting for someone in the family to say "if you had done such and such when he was younger, he wouldn't be this way". Strangle. I. Have. Done. Everything.

I can totally relate to this sentiment. Initially, my ILs (!) especially were very rude and judgmental about our decision even to have DS evaluated let alone (gasp) start ST. They thought we were going to do life-long harm by making him feel different. I heard all the typical excuses--he's a boy, he'll talk later; Einstein didn't talk until he was whatever age; he'll talk when he's ready; this is just his personality, etc. While DS has thankfully made lovely progress and I am grateful, fast forward a few years and there's no denying that he has "issues". Of course, never have my ILs ever acknowledged the huge sacrifices of TLC, time, money and stress we have put ourselves through to intervene aggressively. They don't help in any way, not even with moral support.

Same exact story here. I will never regret the choices I have made in my life (including leaving a career I loved), because I know what a difference it has made in my son's life. In my case, at least my husband truly gets it--it took a while but once he did he really got it--but at times it can still be hard to feel a lack understanding/compassion from those around us (first judgmental of my over-reactions/pathologizing and now judgmental of our parenting and child's behavior). I don't want anyone to call me a hero, I'd just like people to give us and especially my kid a break: if you knew how great his challenges are, you'd realize how hard he tries, how hard we all try, and maybe the behavior would look different to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Should I be happy that now his symptoms are so obvious that now they're shutting up?
Not really, I'm just waiting for someone in the family to say "if you had done such and such when he was younger, he wouldn't be this way". Strangle. I. Have. Done. Everything.

I can totally relate to this sentiment. Initially, my ILs (!) especially were very rude and judgmental about our decision even to have DS evaluated let alone (gasp) start ST. They thought we were going to do life-long harm by making him feel different. I heard all the typical excuses--he's a boy, he'll talk later; Einstein didn't talk until he was whatever age; he'll talk when he's ready; this is just his personality, etc. While DS has thankfully made lovely progress and I am grateful, fast forward a few years and there's no denying that he has "issues". Of course, never have my ILs ever acknowledged the huge sacrifices of TLC, time, money and stress we have put ourselves through to intervene aggressively. They don't help in any way, not even with moral support.

Same exact story here. I will never regret the choices I have made in my life (including leaving a career I loved), because I know what a difference it has made in my son's life. In my case, at least my husband truly gets it--it took a while but once he did he really got it--but at times it can still be hard to feel a lack understanding/compassion from those around us (first judgmental of my over-reactions/pathologizing and now judgmental of our parenting and child's behavior). I don't want anyone to call me a hero, I'd just like people to give us and especially my kid a break: if you knew how great his challenges are, you'd realize how hard he tries, how hard we all try, and maybe the behavior would look different to you.

WOW I relate to so many of these posts-especially about the in-laws making you feel worse, not having a clue and not helping at all. Add to that we tried couple's therapy and the therapist who assured me she had worked with couples raising kids with SN..had NO clue what it is all about. She didn't even know what OT is! She tried to give me some outdated info about my child's issues and I wanted to say "Clearly you have no experience working with parents of SN kids, because if you did you would realize how insulting it is to share something so basic and outdated."