Have your children ever had an extremely disruptive child in elementary class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, there is such a child in my child's class -- and it drives me #@$% crazy because this is a competitive private school. They just keep "working with him" year after year.

I have a very cynical take on why this particular child gets to stay.

Its all anonymous here, hon, give us the dirt!

He is the son of people that the school courts to further its stated mission of BigTop inclusiveness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Public charter. Very young grade, so it makes it hard. At various points they have only been allowed to return to school with parent escorts for the whole day. One of them is on a probation of sorts and can be sent home immediately if he has an outburst. This is after months of outbursts though, outbursts and really took away hours of instructional time and focus for the other kids.

So the school doesn't have to provide an aide? I guess I assume a child with this much struggling would be on an IEP. That's got to be hard on the parents, too.

[Anonymous]

It can take quite a while before an aide is brought in. Lots of documentation and trying other things before an aide can be ordered by an IEP.

[Anonymous]

YES! There were two very disruptive children in my child's class last year at a private school that we paid $28,000 for her to attend. All three children are still at the school. We left.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. We could be at the same school. I know of a child that fits this description who is in an excellent public program with seasoned teachers who I feel have seen it all. They are saints as far as I'm concerned. It's a very tough situation for the rest of the class. I agree with previous comments that the child has the right to be in the least restrictive environment and that peer modeling is a positive thing, but the child I am thinking of is over the top with erratic, dangerous behavior. Physical violence against a teacher, even from a very young child like the one I know, is where I draw the line. Obviously, I feel for the teachers, but I also really feel bad for the rest of the students in the class.

[Anonymous]

Do public schools have special classrooms for children with violence problems? It just doesn't seem safe to have such an aggressive child have access to the regular children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do public schools have special classrooms for children with violence problems? It just doesn't seem safe to have such an aggressive child have access to the regular children.

When I was a kid in Ffx county---they would get sent to their own ED (emotionally disturbed) classrooms. Often they were bused to a different school. My brother has taught these kids in Brooklyn. I am assuming things have changed and it is about mainstreaming. I am clueless so I will not judge anyway. The only way I'd be upset would be if I felt my child's physical safety was in jeopardy. These were the kind of kids my brother taught for awhile. I do think one child can drain the resources so much from the rest of the class...esp with big class sizes these days. A teacher can't be devoting so much time and energy to one child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry that your child's classroom is disrupted but I'm assuming this child has an IEP in place and is entitled to an education in the least restrictive environment, Have you considered that the "disruptive child" may learn how to control their actions better by having peer models? That there may be a benefit to both the child and the children in the classroom that you can't see.
As for talking to the principal, if the principal says anything to other parents about that individual child he or she can and may very well be sued.

Before having a borderline autistic child in my son's class, I thought it was good for children to be exposed to all levels of abilities, learn compassion and helping, and help "bring up" a child that is a little behind.

Now that my child has lived through it, I am against mainstreaming ones that have physical outbursts. Another 5 year old in my son's kindergarten class had speech that was equivalent to a 2 year old. He still wore pullups and needed help with toileting (or I should say, help changing his diaper). It took 2 staff members to hold him down to change him. Another child received a bite that cut the skin and left a bruise the size of a baseball when he tried to stop the child from hitting the teacher. Seriously, a 5 yr old getting hurt intervening on behalf of a teacher? That is not what I want to be happening in my son's class. He came home day after day saying this child was bad and mean and hit constantly. I tried to tell him that this other boy was "special" and needed extra attention and help, but after so long I sounded like a broken record and the child's behavior was not getting any better. His teacher, frustrated, told the children to hit him back. The child being in this class was not benefitting anyone. And yes, I volunteered in the class one morning a week so I saw his behavior first hand.

[Anonymous]

How did the laws go from having 'special needs' children in the classroom who were just slow readers and maybe had a tantrum every once in awhile to having children who can't even use the bathroom by themselves or speak? The special education mainstreaming has gotten out of control and doesn't benefit anyone. Not to mention the lawsuits that these teachers and principals have to worry about now.

[Anonymous]

For the opposite viewpoint-- I think DC has become a more intuitive and compassionate teen because of all the children with whom he interacted in elementary school with special needs. He had some himself (not violence but learning needs) and he became someone who could calm down the child with HFA or help someone else with math. Yes there are drawbacks, especially if the child takes tons of the teacher's time (and this is where an aide or volunteer or specialist could really help), but the benefits of mainstreaming that child are many.

And kids change and develop. There's a girl at my child's previous school who used to shriek each day for hours. It was very disruptive and difficult for the staff. Why? She was one of about 8 siblings from a family in extreme poverty-- god only knows what her homelife was like. But they worked with her for years. Recently I got a chance to see her. She is a pretty poised child who reads beautifully in two languages. Wow, that's what education is all about.

Not so sure this applies to a private school setting though -- the above example is from public school. If I was paying a bunch of money for education for my kid I might not want to put up with disruptions in the class. That said, at my teen's private school he is most upset by the entitled children who complain and ruin the fun for everyone else because things are not perfect enough for them.

[Anonymous]

My 7 year old had a disruptive child in her DCPS class this year. I don't know what his issues were, only that his behavior was aggressive, loud and confrontational. He disrupted lessons throughout the day, and bullied and made fun of other children. My child had daily anxiety about what he would do or say, or if he would hit her, crash into her, or pull her hair. She worried that he would make fun of her, her outfit or lunch or whatever. And she was not one that he regularly bullied, she just worried that he might target her. Right after the Christmas break, he left. It has transformed the classroom and my child's experience for the better. Now the class can stay on task instead of constantly responding to the boy's outbursts.

That said, we have friends who struggle in a DCPS charter with a situation where more kids have issues in their child's classroom than those who are ready to learn. They love the charter's educational approach but may leave due to the chaos in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

You know what I wonder... all of these kids who are out of control, who have diagnoses, etc (mine included)... they are everywhere in such numbers.

Why? And where were these kids when we were little? Or is this environmental? Just pondering.

[Anonymous]

I wonder that too. I guess these children were at different schools so we weren't even aware of them.

[Anonymous]

We had a similar problem and went to talk to the school VP - the VP said we were the 4th or 5th family to complain, so I guess we waited a while. The VP told us that the school isn't allowed to segregate these kids. And moving disruptive kids from one classroom to another doesn't solve the problem from the school's perspective. It just moves the problem around, to a different teacher and classroom, but doesn't get to whatever psychological or disciplinary root.

The only time they would contemplate moving a kid from one classroom to another would be for something he called a "sterilizing bounce" (gotta love it). This is in cases where the disruptive kid is feeding off kids in one classroom, so that moving the kid might take him or her away from peers who are egging him/her on.

[Anonymous]

Well, there was one boy like that in my first grade, I was so afraid of him. He would have these violent outbursts, it was hard for the teachers. They frequently asked for parents to volunteer to be present in the classroom to help. One recess this boy pushed another boy to the ground and started jumping up and down on his abdomen. One of the parents reached him first and yanked him off his screaming victim hard, and I remember the boy grinning and asking: Oh, is there a new sheriff in town? This was a 6 year old! After this incident a few weeks passed and then he was not in our school anymore, I think he was transferred. So I don't think this is a brand new phenomenon. I DO think though that 'back then' there was more separation once issues were identified, and that is why you all think that this is new. But these kids were there then, too.