Am I a ridiculous FTM or is it time to switch daycares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the PPs. The only thing that would really bother me, and it would bother me quite a bit, is the use of the devices. We had an exersaucer and bumbo at home, so I'm not opposed to them per se, but I just think it makes it too easy to leave a child there. I would rather have her rolling around on the floor, if not on a provider's lap. And I think that it's not feeding time, there's no reason for her to be in a highchair.

I agree with this.

Just use a little bit of common sense. During the day children are rolling, crawling, sitting on the lap or hands of the provider. They cannot be in the device all day long, they will be tired and cranky. If they are in the "device" after 8-10 hours (when parents are coming) at the daycare and they are not crying, that means they did everything else. I think the best problem here it's mom's guilt. I hope everyone (parents) enjoyed the four days weekend (without the devices) .

You never know, my BIL had twins and once over a holiday, I saw them leave one of the twins in there for over an hour. OP, go with your gut. Ask them to write down your child's schedule (when she's doing tummy time, when she's eating/sleeping). That should give you a good idea of if she's spending most of her day in a device.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a provider, I can tell there is no perfect daycare or a center, especially when "bad feeling in my gut is me going back to work and wishing things were done "my way"". When you want to complain, it's not complicated to find something. I my daycare, for example, parents complaining that we are changing babies to often, I guess, it's saying that we are working hard and always ready to do extra for babies. It's good to know what is around, simply that you can choose the best care for your child. And if you don't respect or don't appreciate your provider who spends more then 8 hours with your baby, you should be staying at home with your baby. There are good and bad centers and same for a home daycares, it's all comes to economics. When parents get a high quality care for a reasonable price, they are usually never complain about things like stains from food and ....etc. Working with children it's not a easy job, but if you don't believe that your provider doing the best for your baby, you need to look for other options, for sure.

You sound pretty defensive, PP. Maybe if she doesn't respect or appreciate her provider it's not because she's being unfair, it's because the provider isn't working out. And it certainly shouldn't lead to the conclusion she should be "staying at home" with her baby if that's not what she wants.

And she didn't say that the bad feeling in her gut WAS her going back to work, it was that she was questioning whether that was what caused the bad feeling. That is very different.

OP, I have to say that until DD was 18 months, we had a childcare provider who was okay, but I wasn't ever really 100% happy for a number of little reasons, and I also questioned whether it was just my own ambivalence about going back to work. We now have a new childcare situation and I wish I could explain how night and day it is. Seriously, miraculous. I kicked myself for not exploring other options sooner.

[Anonymous]

I agree w/ the above: look at other providers and switch. If you're not happy, you never will be. There are things I don't like about my kid's daycare - and I never will - but they are minor things. You, OP, are thinking about a drastic step -- look at some other solutions first. Switch providers, move from home to nanny or center, whatever. And altho I love this forum, I would ask your neighbors or friends in your area for recommendations as they'll know what's convenient and good. Good luck!!

[Anonymous]

OP, if you don't feel at ease, look into other options. Like one of the PPs, we moved our child to a new situation and wished we had done it sooner. Our first provider (in-home with two caregivers) was okay, but I had misgivings as time went on. The main provider switched to two new assistants who were not as good as the previous one. My DH kept talking me out of moving our child (worried about our child's attachment to the main provider and also a devil-you-know kind of thing, I guess) but eventually we had to move our child when things got bad. The new daycare is so much better. Our child transitioned like a breeze and was so much happier. What a relief to go to work without worrying so much. I wish I had not backed down and had followed my instincts sooner. It is a pain to find new care, but when you find something better it will be so worth it.

[Anonymous]

I would start looking at other options. I would also start doing unannounced drop ins at your current provider. It could be very interesting and telling.

[Anonymous]

OP here... Thanks for all the suggestions. The last couple days have been rough so I think it's time to look elsewhere. I found this one through word of mouth though so I have I admit I'm a little intimidated by the process. Any tips on where to begin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here... Thanks for all the suggestions. The last couple days have been rough so I think it's time to look elsewhere. I found this one through word of mouth though so I have I admit I'm a little intimidated by the process. Any tips on where to begin?

Look into a nanny share. I think you may feel like it is worth the extra money.

[Anonymous]

OP, you should start from this point, for sure, it's not an easy process. You don't buy the first car you see (when you shop for the cars). You need to look around and compare. And it's a relationship (we know sometimes it's works and sometimes it's doesn't). Progressive (smart) parents are understand the benefits of daycare and preschools, but some, of course, "deserve" nanny with TV/Internet on all day long. I am sorry for being mean here, but you have to see bigger picture then just spots on the outfits. If the caregivers easy going with kids and enjoy their jobs, or they just cannot wait to go for lunch/home. Good luck with your search! there are more infants then spots available, so providers are picky as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you should start from this point, for sure, it's not an easy process. You don't buy the first car you see (when you shop for the cars). You need to look around and compare. And it's a relationship (we know sometimes it's works and sometimes it's doesn't). Progressive (smart) parents are understand the benefits of daycare and preschools, but some, of course, "deserve" nanny with TV/Internet on all day long. I am sorry for being mean here, but you have to see bigger picture then just spots on the outfits. If the caregivers easy going with kids and enjoy their jobs, or they just cannot wait to go for lunch/home. Good luck with your search! there are more infants then spots available, so providers are picky as well.

I have absolutely no idea what this person is trying to say because most of these sentences don't make any sense. I think maybe this is saying that nannies sit around with kids all day and watch TV? Not true. Not true at all. Sounds like another defensive daycare provider.
In any case, OP, I would also recommend looking into a nanny share. And there are lots of loving home based daycares who don't rely on bouncy chairs and the like - I know this board is a good place to find recommendations! In any case, go with your gut and good luck!

[Anonymous]

As you all know, there are waiting lists for each daycare in this area. Therefore, providers don't need to waist their time with not a happy parents. Just move on and find what ever option you want, but don't cry how hard and intimidated it is. If you think that is hard, I can imagine what will be with you when your child will be in high school. Nobody said that raising kids it easy job. But OP asking if she ridiculous, I am guessing, she knows, she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As you all know, there are waiting lists for each daycare in this area. Therefore, providers don't need to waist their time with not a happy parents. Just move on and find what ever option you want, but don't cry how hard and intimidated it is. If you think that is hard, I can imagine what will be with you when your child will be in high school. Nobody said that raising kids it easy job. But OP asking if she ridiculous, I am guessing, she knows, she is.

The OP is not ridiculous. You sound like a bitter provider who is not very bright.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As you all know, there are waiting lists for each daycare in this area. Therefore, providers don't need to waist their time with not a happy parents. Just move on and find what ever option you want, but don't cry how hard and intimidated it is. If you think that is hard, I can imagine what will be with you when your child will be in high school. Nobody said that raising kids it easy job. But OP asking if she ridiculous, I am guessing, she knows, she is.

The OP is not ridiculous. You sound like a bitter provider who is not very bright.

ITA...waaay to defensive. I also agree that the OP should start looking immediately. From what she writes, this is what they deserve - for her to be looking to place her child somewhere else ASAP. I wouldnt be happy picking up my daughter and noticing the things she mentioned - they indicate that the provider cannot do the basic things like wiping up messy noses, wearing bibs, and just keeping up in general. I have had days where my daughter has a runny nose at the end of the afternoon that is all caked and a stain on her and she is sitting in her boppy - but these days are when I am suffering from a migraine, sleep deprived and really struggling....certainly not days I am proud of and they dont happen hardly ever thank goodness. Usually when my DH has come home to this he whisks her away because he sees I am really in need of help. If he saw that MOST days, he would be urging me talk about our options for childcare.
I have my 20 mo. DD in preschool and when I pick her up I NEVER see these things she mentioned. AND they have been doing artwork with paints, eating lunch all at a table, outside playing in the sandbox, etc. Once when I came to pick her up she was in the restroom with one of the helpers because they realized she had sand in her pants and they were shaking it out together and giving her a full change even though she seemed fine. you can tell how much they care about the kids very easily. I have never had a negative gut feeling about any of it. But if I did, I would exercise my right to look elsewhere.