Am I a ridiculous FTM or is it time to switch daycares?

[Anonymous]

Our daughter attends an in-home daycare with 12 children (4 providers). She is only 5 months old so she spends most of her day with the 3 other infants, playing, napping and eating. However, most times when I am there, she's in a "device" (exersaucer, bumbo, highchair, etc.) while another child is being tended for. With 4 infants to one provider, I am realistic in knowing that she doesn't get a whole lot of personal attention. She also doesn't get a whole lot of outside time. She often comes home with a dirty nose that looks like it hasn't been wiped in quite some time, and usually has stains from food (or playing) on her clothes. I specifically wanted an in-home daycare because I like the idea of her around lots of kids and with lots of different adults. However, now I'm starting to wonder if she's getting so little personal attention that it might be time to re-think this. Is picking up a somewhat "dirty" child who has been playing on his own for much of the day part of what you sign up for with an in-home daycare or is it right to think that this specific daycare might not be the best situation? It's hard for me right now to figure out how much of this bad feeling in my gut is me going back to work and wishing things were done "my way" and how much of this is the possibility that we may have just picked a not so great daycare. Thanks for you opinions.

[Anonymous]

The stains wouldnt bother me. But Constantly in devices would bother me.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why a 5 mo old would have food stains? Is the provider missing her mouth when feeding? That's odd. My DD always comes home with food stains, but that is because she is 1 and therefore feeds herself and makes a total mess (like she does at home).

Dirty nose, meh I mean, it happens esp in fall and winter.

I prefer 3 to 1 for infants. And I would not use a place that always keeps a baby in a "device." But those are just personal preferences.


And finally, it's generally not until toddler that kids get too much outside time. I think it is nice for them to go out, but with only 1 provider and 4 infants, coordinating based on naps and eating and such would be seemingly impossible!

It doesn't sound like the place is awful for anything esp if your provider is someone that you like, but it doesnt sound fantastic either. If you are unhappy, investigate other options. It won't hurt to look!

[Anonymous]

Agree with the PPs. The only thing that would really bother me, and it would bother me quite a bit, is the use of the devices. We had an exersaucer and bumbo at home, so I'm not opposed to them per se, but I just think it makes it too easy to leave a child there. I would rather have her rolling around on the floor, if not on a provider's lap. And I think that it's not feeding time, there's no reason for her to be in a highchair.

[Anonymous]

We have a 3-1 center and there are no devices outside of a high chair for feeding. We like the floor time a lot better. Easier to pick them up if fussing, goo.

[Anonymous]

I wouldnt be too pleased about my 5 mo old with stained clothing a lot or a dirty nose upon pick up. It doesnt take much for them to put on a bib, or in the case that they miss your baby's mouth and clothing gets stained - dont they have a change of clothes for that? And the dirty nose thing? Wiping a nose doesnt take a lot of time and they should be doing that for all infants and toddlers who cant do it for themselves IMO.
I take my daughter to preschool ( she is now 18 mo.) and I co oped last week and got to see how they do things. They have two scheduled diaper and clean up times within a 3 hour period. One after playground time and the other after lunch/snack time. They had a list so that we would check who we changed and cleaned up. When the parents picked up the kids they were all in fresh clothes, clean faces and hands washed. Two of the kids needed full changes of clothes either because they had totally trashed them at lunch time or had a leaky poopy diaper. It wasnt that hard and there were three of us and 8 of them so I know the ratio isnt the same... but with toddlers they are ALL over the place and changing and cleaning up faces clothes is a bit more of an ordeal than with an infant as I recall.
FWIW I picked her up from them last week and she had a shirt covered in paint. They said she took her own smock off while they werent looking and could I put a change of clothes in her bin for when and if this happens so she can be in fresh clothes for pick up.

[Anonymous]

OP, when you say "most times when I am there," are those times always during the drop-off/pick-up "rush hours" of the morning and afternoon, or have you also gone in the middle of the day? DC was in a home daycare that kept the older babies and toddlers sitting around a table during the dropoff/pickup times, mainly because the providers had to keep running to the door or helping parents get stuff ready. However, during the rest of the day they only used the chairs for lunch.
In general, I agree with you that babies should spend as much time as possible free to wriggle/roll/crawl around a safe space. I would try to investigate more about how this daycare is running, maybe talk to other current and former parents, and start exploring other options, just so you aren't starting from scratch if you end up concluding this daycare isn't right. Trust your gut.

Off-topic, I am curious where this 12-kid home daycare is. My understanding for Montgomery County is that anything over 8 kids requires a "small center" license, which my provider says is almost impossible to get for a home because of the facilities requirements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a 3-1 center and there are no devices outside of a high chair for feeding. We like the floor time a lot better. Easier to pick them up if fussing, goo.

I'm in a major daycare center and there are devices, but after multiple drop ins (yeah, I was a ridiculous FTM) I rarely saw my DD in them. She spent lots of time on the floor, in people's arms, sleeping in her crib, or in a high chair eating.

[Anonymous]

We were at an in-home center that sounds very similar. DS often had a dirty face when I picked him up, but what sealed the deal was when I walked in and found my 10mo son strapped in a bouncy seat (and screaming). He was fully capable of sitting up, crawling, etc, so why he was strapped in with someone sitting right next to him, I have no idea. We now use a regular center and are MUCH happier, DS included. Kids are all clean, they have planned activities everyday, and though they do have some "devices" in the baby room (DS has aged out of that room), kids are often being held or are on the floor to explore

[Anonymous]

Always go with your gut, OP. It knows better than any of us do.

[Anonymous]

I don't think your child's face should have a dirty face or running nose at pickup time. My son did spend time in bouncy seats and exersaucers at daycare, but also spent time on the floor etc. At age 2.5, it seems not to have adversely affected his development.

[Anonymous]

As a provider, I can tell there is no perfect daycare or a center, especially when "bad feeling in my gut is me going back to work and wishing things were done "my way"". When you want to complain, it's not complicated to find something. I my daycare, for example, parents complaining that we are changing babies to often, I guess, it's saying that we are working hard and always ready to do extra for babies. It's good to know what is around, simply that you can choose the best care for your child. And if you don't respect or don't appreciate your provider who spends more then 8 hours with your baby, you should be staying at home with your baby. There are good and bad centers and same for a home daycares, it's all comes to economics. When parents get a high quality care for a reasonable price, they are usually never complain about things like stains from food and ....etc. Working with children it's not a easy job, but if you don't believe that your provider doing the best for your baby, you need to look for other options, for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the PPs. The only thing that would really bother me, and it would bother me quite a bit, is the use of the devices. We had an exersaucer and bumbo at home, so I'm not opposed to them per se, but I just think it makes it too easy to leave a child there. I would rather have her rolling around on the floor, if not on a provider's lap. And I think that it's not feeding time, there's no reason for her to be in a highchair.

I agree with this.

[Anonymous]

My child would come home dirty, but always with an explanation "it was spaghetti today" otherwise she was clean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the PPs. The only thing that would really bother me, and it would bother me quite a bit, is the use of the devices. We had an exersaucer and bumbo at home, so I'm not opposed to them per se, but I just think it makes it too easy to leave a child there. I would rather have her rolling around on the floor, if not on a provider's lap. And I think that it's not feeding time, there's no reason for her to be in a highchair.

I agree with this.

Just use a little bit of common sense. During the day children are rolling, crawling, sitting on the lap or hands of the provider. They cannot be in the device all day long, they will be tired and cranky. If they are in the "device" after 8-10 hours (when parents are coming) at the daycare and they are not crying, that means they did everything else. I think the best problem here it's mom's guilt. I hope everyone (parents) enjoyed the four days weekend (without the devices) .