Dating while pregnant

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP,

What about custody? I'd speak to a lawyer!


This. What is the legal status of your marriage? Have you officially separated and filed those papers with the court? How far away are divorce proceedings? It might seem completely innocent to go out for dinner with another guy knowing that you and your husband won't be reconciling, but if nothing is set legally, you could be jeopardizing custody.

If you are in the clear legally, go for it!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP,

What about custody? I'd speak to a lawyer!


Why? Why are you worried about her custody arrangements of her unborn child? If she gets a divorce the court will determine. Really! answer her question or carry on.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP,

What about custody? I'd speak to a lawyer!


This. What is the legal status of your marriage? Have you officially separated and filed those papers with the court? How far away are divorce proceedings? It might seem completely innocent to go out for dinner with another guy knowing that you and your husband won't be reconciling, but if nothing is set legally, you could be jeopardizing custody.

If you are in the clear legally, go for it!


Going out for coffee will not jeopardize her custody. In the DMV if she has an adulterous relationship then her ex could get a fault divorce and what does that entitle him to 50% custody- same as he had before she slept with him.....but NOTE she just wanted to have a coffee.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP,

What about custody? I'd speak to a lawyer!


This. What is the legal status of your marriage? Have you officially separated and filed those papers with the court? How far away are divorce proceedings? It might seem completely innocent to go out for dinner with another guy knowing that you and your husband won't be reconciling, but if nothing is set legally, you could be jeopardizing custody.

If you are in the clear legally, go for it!


Going out for coffee will not jeopardize her custody. In the DMV if she has an adulterous relationship then her ex could get a fault divorce and what does that entitle him to 50% custody- same as he had before she slept with him.....but NOTE she just wanted to have a coffee.


I hear you, but I also watched my aunt's divorce proceedings not too long ago (in Kansas, so I know it's a very different state when it comes to divorce). She and her husband decided to split. He was military and was about to go on active duty out of the country, so they put off the divorce until he got back. He went oversees and she, knowing their marriage was over, went out on a few dates during the course of the year he was gone. She didn't realize her husband was having her followed and photographed. When he got back, he not got a fault divorce but almost full custody because she was leaving the kids (with a friend) to carry out her affairs (even though she wasn't sleeping with anyone) while he was patriotically serving his country. He had a better attorney and it completely caught her off guard.

So as I said, check with your attorney and make sure it's okay, better safe than sorry. If you're in the clear, have tons of fun!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP,

What about custody? I'd speak to a lawyer!


This. What is the legal status of your marriage? Have you officially separated and filed those papers with the court? How far away are divorce proceedings? It might seem completely innocent to go out for dinner with another guy knowing that you and your husband won't be reconciling, but if nothing is set legally, you could be jeopardizing custody.

If you are in the clear legally, go for it!


Going out for coffee will not jeopardize her custody. In the DMV if she has an adulterous relationship then her ex could get a fault divorce and what does that entitle him to 50% custody- same as he had before she slept with him.....but NOTE she just wanted to have a coffee.


I hear you, but I also watched my aunt's divorce proceedings not too long ago (in Kansas, so I know it's a very different state when it comes to divorce). She and her husband decided to split. He was military and was about to go on active duty out of the country, so they put off the divorce until he got back. He went oversees and she, knowing their marriage was over, went out on a few dates during the course of the year he was gone. She didn't realize her husband was having her followed and photographed. When he got back, he not got a fault divorce but almost full custody because she was leaving the kids (with a friend) to carry out her affairs (even though she wasn't sleeping with anyone) while he was patriotically serving his country. He had a better attorney and it completely caught her off guard.

So as I said, check with your attorney and make sure it's okay, better safe than sorry. If you're in the clear, have tons of fun!


Well, isn't that what happened?
Anonymous
Okay we all know that having coffee is NOT going to affect custody! However OP should get a sense of what becoming involved romantically with someone could mean for the negotations or court. She should speak to a lawyer. Divorce makes people crazy, who knows what her ex would do with it.
Anonymous
Going out for coffee will not jeopardize her custody. In the DMV if she has an adulterous relationship then her ex could get a fault divorce and what does that entitle him to 50% custody- same as he had before she slept with him.....but NOTE she just wanted to have a coffee.

I hear you, but I also watched my aunt's divorce proceedings not too long ago (in Kansas, so I know it's a very different state when it comes to divorce). She and her husband decided to split. He was military and was about to go on active duty out of the country, so they put off the divorce until he got back. He went oversees and she, knowing their marriage was over, went out on a few dates during the course of the year he was gone. She didn't realize her husband was having her followed and photographed. When he got back, he not got a fault divorce but almost full custody because she was leaving the kids (with a friend) to carry out her affairs (even though she wasn't sleeping with anyone) while he was patriotically serving his country. He had a better attorney and it completely caught her off guard.

So as I said, check with your attorney and make sure it's okay, better safe than sorry. If you're in the clear, have tons of fun!

Well Dorothy we are not in Kansas anymore. As attorney I would have to say removing your unborn child from your womb and placing him or her with a random friend so that you could get some could be construed by a court as acting against the best interest of the child.
Anonymous
11:28 As attorney: are you a family lawyer? Do you handle divorces? What is the harm in asking?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:11:28 As attorney: are you a family lawyer? Do you handle divorces? What is the harm in asking?


I was a family attorney. I hate the BS. There is no harm so long as she has the 250-500 to consult for 1 hours vs a cup of coffee.
Really, I love takin' your money folks but use some common freakin' sense first.
Anonymous
AH the question for the attorney is not about coffee, it's about getting involved. I'm sure she'd have other questions!

Props for leaving. I hate the BS as a client! Also family lawyers are shameless gossips. They blab about their clients to me all the time. (Not you.) Tsk tsk.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:AH the question for the attorney is not about coffee, it's about getting involved. I'm sure she'd have other questions!

Props for leaving. I hate the BS as a client! Also family lawyers are shameless gossips. They blab about their clients to me all the time. (Not you.) Tsk tsk.


As a person she can have relationships. Your Aunt was screwed because she did it to an active duty military member in the middle of America.
Anonymous
dating can't do anything to harm your chances with custody, unless you are putting your chlid at risk in some why.

I will say this, for me dating is highly emtional, and pregnancy is highly emotional...sounds like a bad combo for your mental health.

I'd also be worried about just wanting someone to go through this with you that you "pick" or "fall in love" with mr right now because you need someone and get yourself into another undesirable relationship.


If you can do it and keep your sanity and mental health, go for it...just sounds like a big challenge you don't need right now.
Anonymous
If you were divorced, I'd have less of an issue with it. But if you are both married and pregnant, then dating seems problematic. (And I think people would be way more critical of a man posting, saying, my wife is pregnant but we're having troubles and not reconciling, is it OK to date?) Wrap up your marriage, one way or the other, then think about dating. Or just stick to coffee, truly.
Anonymous
I'd wrap up the marriage, first. You never know what your STB-ex will do in response to you getting some action ... unless he's getting action too and you have proof. Then I suspect it won't be a problem.
Anonymous
well did you go out?
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