Dating while pregnant
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Anonymous
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I'm not talking about signing up for Match.com or anything, but I am considering meeting a guy I know for coffee or a meal, maybe moving on to a dvd at my place down the road. We find it easy to chat and, before I settled in with not-so-DH, it looked like we might have a chance at romance. I've been thinking about a couple of different guys I shared a spark with before DH and am wondering about the downside to meeting up with them casually just to catch up. I'm quite obviously pregnant. DH and I are not reconciling. I'm reconnecting with girlfriends and would like to do the same with a few guys who made me smile in the past. No harm, no foul? Or is this something I should avoid? |
Anonymous
| I would focus on the baby. After you've delivered and gotten into a routine, maybe then. You probably need your girlfriends more anyway. |
Anonymous
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OP,
What's the situation with custody? I would not date. This is the biggest before of your life. It really is as exhausting (and of course exhilarating) as everyone says. |
Anonymous
| OP, Agree with the PPs - focus on the baby. You might become emotionally involved with someone and your focus might shift, even though you think you can control it now. The intensity of motherhood is unimaginable. You have to experience it to know it. Good luck. |
Anonymous
| Dear OP- Whatever to the PPs. Single at 37 weeks here. If the guys are not freaked out you can make friends. Hiedi Klum did it and she got Seal out the deal. Not to shabby a Lullaby singer I might add. |
Anonymous
| 944 here again. Our focus will not shift there is a watermelon in our Pelvis we are well aware of our priorities and remembering that there are decent men out there will help. Remmeber you have to help yourself before you can help anybody else including a baby you need to be whole and friendship and companionship during a separation is one path |
Anonymous
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Agree with 9:44.
Really, I think it would be perfectly lovely if OP got to do something like go out to dinner and a movie with someone and have a nice time. It's not going to ruin her or her baby's life. |
Anonymous
| PP here. ...ESPECIALLY before the baby comes. Partnered people do stuff like this before the baby comes all. the. time. and nobody bats an eye or says, "that pedicure your husband is treating you to is going to divert your very precious focus." |
Anonymous
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You should go. If the guy is cool with you being pregnant and wants to hang with you anyway, that's awesome. Just be prepared that if you're out in public, people will assume he's the father of the baby. But you never know - this could be good. When I was prego, I went out to dinner with an ex a few times. It was nice. we didn't end up rekindling things, but it was discussed. and it was nice to feel like an attractive woman at a time when I was feeling like a whale much of the time.
But yeah - be wary of any potential issues this could cause with the DH. if he's the nasty vindictive type, he could try to use this against you. So just be careful. |
Anonymous
| Go for it. For those PPs who think it will change her focus ... come on ... how on earth can you not focus on your baby once it's born? That's absurd. |
Anonymous
Oh, and I should add, it's so important for a new mom to focus on her own well being and state of mind. Do what makes you happy, OP, and you will cope with the stresses of a newborn. Don't fall into the guilt trap. |
Anonymous
| I think it's awesome if a guy is open minded enough to date a pregnant woman. Enjoy yourself OP! |
Anonymous
| Who knows, you might get laid while you are pregnany too - if he is in to that. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thanks for the feedback. I'm not a first-time mom, so I know the emotional whirlwind I'm in for and how my focus will be almost exclusively set on my little ones with this new arrival. I guess I'm also incredibly aware of the laughter and tenderness I'm missing. It was such a valuable part of my previous experiences. I like the idea of adding a little bit of lipstick to my day. Before long it'll all be nursing bras and burp cloths. Thanks again for the input. |
Anonymous
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OP,
What about custody? I'd speak to a lawyer! |