why did you decide not to learn your baby's sex at the 20 week sono?

[Anonymous]

Can't you be surprised at 20 weeks? I don't understand the argument that you "wanted to be surprised" and therefore had to be surprised at birth. Isn't it a joyous surprise whenever you find out? We were "surprised" at 20 weeks and surprised everyone else with the name in the birth announcement. To each her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The sex of my baby was a surprise when I heard it at 12 weeks (CVS). Good enough for me.

Totally agree. We heard our first at the 20 week ultrasound and plan to hear our second there as well. No less emotional or exciting or surprising at that time. The day of the birth was exciting/emotional enough, and that is when we revealed the name. Don't know how much more shock or excitement I would have been able to take or share! Totally respect and understand why people would want to wait but please don't tell me I was not surprised to find out the sex of my kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't you be surprised at 20 weeks? I don't understand the argument that you "wanted to be surprised" and therefore had to be surprised at birth. Isn't it a joyous surprise whenever you find out? We were "surprised" at 20 weeks and surprised everyone else with the name in the birth announcement. To each her own.

There is a difference between someone telling you by looking on a screen, and you finding out yourself when you hold the baby and meet them for the first time. There is a difference between knowing during your pregnancy, and not knowing at all until the birthday.

Don't get your panties twisted, you know what people mean when they say that.

You are right, to each her own.

[Anonymous]

We found out with the first 2, both boys, but this time we’re waiting…. DH so desperately wants a girl—there are 6 male grandchildren on his side (and 2 male on mine) and there’s pressure from everyone to have a girl. If we found out at week 20 that we were having another boy, we’d probably be somewhat disappointed with what is in reality a wonderful thing—another child! However, the moment of birth is so intense, and the love for the baby comes so fast, that we’d be more blown away by meeting our new child than by any expectations/hopes we have about the gender.

Plus, there are so few surprises in life that are truly meaningful. This is one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't you be surprised at 20 weeks? I don't understand the argument that you "wanted to be surprised" and therefore had to be surprised at birth. Isn't it a joyous surprise whenever you find out? We were "surprised" at 20 weeks and surprised everyone else with the name in the birth announcement. To each her own.

There is a difference between someone telling you by looking on a screen, and you finding out yourself when you hold the baby and meet them for the first time. There is a difference between knowing during your pregnancy, and not knowing at all until the birthday.

Don't get your panties twisted, you know what people mean when they say that.

You are right, to each her own.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because I feel like there are so few surprises in life and why not have a great one! I think it helped me through the last few weeks when you just want the baby OUT already. I also feel like when people tell me the sex of the baby and the name beforehand I am somewhat less excited when it actually arrives. I know that's weird, but it's true.

This. It was our first. And as my MIL helpfully pointed out, it wasn't like we knew what we were doing with a baby of either gender any way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We found out with the first 2, both boys, but this time we’re waiting…. DH so desperately wants a girl—there are 6 male grandchildren on his side (and 2 male on mine) and there’s pressure from everyone to have a girl. If we found out at week 20 that we were having another boy, we’d probably be somewhat disappointed with what is in reality a wonderful thing—another child! However, the moment of birth is so intense, and the love for the baby comes so fast, that we’d be more blown away by meeting our new child than by any expectations/hopes we have about the gender.

Plus, there are so few surprises in life that are truly meaningful. This is one of them.

Interesting. I've always felt the opposite. Ifigured if you did have a preference, then you should find out because better to be disappointed while still pregnant than once the baby is born. But you're probably right. I found out with my first and was disappointed to be having a boy. This next time (currently TTC) I genuinely don't have a preference. Love, love, love my boy and would love another but it would also be cool to have a girl. So I've thought about not finding out. But DH will really want to know so I am sure we will find out. Anyway, just interesting that you and I took opposite approaches.

[Anonymous]

I knew I secretly wanted one gender. I figured if we waited until birth I wouldn't be disappointed.

[Anonymous]

I'm just a planner so wanted to know early. If you are going to be surprised, I think it makes more sense to do that with number 1 and not as much sense with #2, at least for me. My daughter will be almost 3.5 when our second comes along so we want to start preparing her for a baby brother or sister, since this process is confusing enough. If it's a boy, I would like to take the time to sort through things, get rid of the blatant girl things we won't use, and take inventory of what we need.

We had a pretty neutral nursery, but it was nice to throw in some elements of a girl (we didn't really have a big theme, but I did decorate with a bit of a "bug theme" and probably wouldn't have done ladybugs and butterflys with a boy). If we have a boy, since this will be our last, I may do the same thing and do a smallish them that is a little more boy-themed - dinosaurs or farm animals or something.

It's not a big deal, but for me doing those little things helped me prepare for motherhood. I also think it was easier for us to agree on a name once we knew what we are having.

[Anonymous]

I wanted to wait. Thought it'd be a motivating factor for me during labor. Turns out I had a C-section, but it was still a nice surprise at a somewhat stressful birth.

[Anonymous]

I have four children. Found out for two of them and not for the other two. I highly recommend waiting - there is something really special about finding out right at delivery. Trust me it is VERY different to finding out at an U/S.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I knew I secretly wanted one gender. I figured if we waited until birth I wouldn't be disappointed.

Same here. I found out with my first but for the second I wanted the opposite sex so I chose to wait till the birth.

[Anonymous]

I didn't want people to buy me stereotyped gendered clothes. I hate that stuff. I didn't want for *me* to be suckered into that stuff.

I wanted to meet my child with as few as possible expectations about what s/he would be like.

[Anonymous]

for us, it wasn't that we wanted to be surprised later rather than sooner. we waited for both kids because my husband had always envisioned hearing the midwife say: "it's a..." as the baby came out. and it turned out even better than that. my husband helped catch the baby, so he knew the sex when the midwife did and he's the one who announced it both times. i wouldn't trade that sort of news delivery for anything, particularly not for a random xray tech telling me that the alien looking thing on the screen is a boy or a girl. it was wonderful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because I feel like there are so few surprises in life and why not have a great one! I think it helped me through the last few weeks when you just want the baby OUT already. I also feel like when people tell me the sex of the baby and the name beforehand I am somewhat less excited when it actually arrives. I know that's weird, but it's true.

This exactly for me also. I just wanted to hear that "it's a boy/girl" and have it be a big surprise