Who cares if your kid is overweight!

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The post about the "naturally thin" mom who is worried that 2 of her children might have weight struggles really bothered me! Not everyone is going to be a thin person, despite if the mother and father are or aren't. If a child is overweight then so be it. It doesn't mean they are less of a person or won't be as successful. That mom is going to make those kids feel isolated and will drive them away. Some people are going to be fat, despite eating pita and raw vegetables for lunch, sorry your fat kids are making you look bad! So typical DCUM


Wow! I hope you really aren't giving up this easily on your children's (or your own) health. I agree it is a delicate subject because you don't want to harm your child's self-esteem. But, teaching proper nutrition is one of the primary roles of a parent. Other than in rare instances, people are not "naturally" overweight. That is why it is called "overweight" and not just a heavier weight. Being overweight is harmful to your health and, unfortunately, it also limits people both socially and professionally. Please do not give up so easily.
Anonymous
Thank you, OP.

Everyone else:

Correspondence is not causation.
http://kateharding.net/faq/but-dont-you-realize-fat-is-unhealthy/

The correct response to bullying is not to remove the thing that is the target of bullying. It is to stop the bullying.
http://angryblackbitch.blogspot.com/2011/04/on-using-cosmetic-surgery-to-stop.html

If you want your child not to be obsessed with crappy food, turning it into the forbidden fruit is counterproductive. If you want your child to be healthy, focus on habits, not weight, and realize that people can follow every rule that's supposed to guarantee good health and still get sick. You might want to introduce that concept before they have a chance to decide that Grandma deserved that cancer.

And to use as your model of health malnourished people in developing countries is batshit crazy.
Anonymous
I was a chubby child back in the 70's when girls were generally waifs without trying.

I wish my mother had admitted I was overweight AND tried to do something to help me. Well she criticized I ate too much but never stopped bringing the food in the house..

As an overweight kid, I think it was a disservice for my parents to pretend I wasn't fat. It would have been better to acknowledge and deal with it head on. I think it would have given me more confidence because by not talking about it and recognizing it, it seemed like something I need to hide and be even more ashamed of then I already was. I mean if my own mom and dad couldn't even talk about it, it must be really, really bad right? at least that's what my little kid mind thought. There was no safe place - I was fat at school and had to pretend it didn't bother me so other kids wouldn't see it as a weakness and pick on me and at home I had to pretend it didn't bother me because it was obviously a really shameful thing because my parents wouldn't even speak of it.
Anonymous
Everybody should care about weight issues because the health consequences of obesity and being overweight are a huge financial burden on our economy.
Anonymous
All of this depends on your interpretation of overweight. For a mom who is 5'6" and 110, a "fat" child might be very different than for a mom who is 5'6" and 150. As parents, we need to be very careful not to put our own distorted perceptions on our children.

If you do have a child who is tending to be overweight, please make sure to talk to them about healthy weight, healthy body image and healthy choices. You should also stress that everyone's body is different and its often not fair that some of their friends can each whatever they want and still be super skinny, while staying thin might be more difficult for them. PLEASE ackowledge genetic difference and that various body types are beautiful - not just what they see in the magazines. If you can, point to celebs who are not traditionally skinny and how healthy self-confidence makes someone way more attractive than a size 0 dress. Thin should not be everyone's goal. I could starve myself and lose 50 lbs and I would still be very curvy - my butt is not going anywhere.
Anonymous
I hear what PP is saying about her parents not acknowledgin her weight issue. My parents were the king and queen of sticking their heads in the sand.

BUT - my friends who are heavy generally balme their parents. They talk about the shame of dieting as children, of being singled out in their families.

It is sticky. I think having healthy foods at home, not banning anything. Being active as a family. That's all you can do. And NOT making an issue of it.

I can think of many heavy kids who eat so much better than my skinny kids. It's not like I'm running around with my kids all the time either. Two of the three are completely unintereted in food and none of them can sit still for 30 seconds. I bet my oldest's first grade teacher wished he was fat and still, rather than bouncing off the walls and skinny!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:All of this depends on your interpretation of overweight. For a mom who is 5'6" and 110, a "fat" child might be very different than for a mom who is 5'6" and 150. As parents, we need to be very careful not to put our own distorted perceptions on our children.

If you do have a child who is tending to be overweight, please make sure to talk to them about healthy weight, healthy body image and healthy choices. You should also stress that everyone's body is different and its often not fair that some of their friends can each whatever they want and still be super skinny, while staying thin might be more difficult for them. PLEASE ackowledge genetic difference and that various body types are beautiful - not just what they see in the magazines. If you can, point to celebs who are not traditionally skinny and how healthy self-confidence makes someone way more attractive than a size 0 dress. Thin should not be everyone's goal. I could starve myself and lose 50 lbs and I would still be very curvy - my butt is not going anywhere.


We can debate whether a woman who has several kids and could lose 20 pounds is curvy or overweight. But a kid is a kid. There's no need for kids to have excess fat on their bodies. The hormones that fat produces can screw up the growing process. It can also make it harder for the kid to be a healthy-weight adult.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All of this depends on your interpretation of overweight. For a mom who is 5'6" and 110, a "fat" child might be very different than for a mom who is 5'6" and 150. As parents, we need to be very careful not to put our own distorted perceptions on our children.

If you do have a child who is tending to be overweight, please make sure to talk to them about healthy weight, healthy body image and healthy choices. You should also stress that everyone's body is different and its often not fair that some of their friends can each whatever they want and still be super skinny, while staying thin might be more difficult for them. PLEASE ackowledge genetic difference and that various body types are beautiful - not just what they see in the magazines. If you can, point to celebs who are not traditionally skinny and how healthy self-confidence makes someone way more attractive than a size 0 dress. Thin should not be everyone's goal. I could starve myself and lose 50 lbs and I would still be very curvy - my butt is not going anywhere.


We can debate whether a woman who has several kids and could lose 20 pounds is curvy or overweight. But a kid is a kid. There's no need for kids to have excess fat on their bodies. The hormones that fat produces can screw up the growing process. It can also make it harder for the kid to be a healthy-weight adult.


This perception is exactly the problem. Some kids are just genetically built bigger than others and no amount of dieting or exercise is going to make them thin. Its called body type and there are more than 1 of them.
Anonymous
OP sounds like an overweight woman who's pissed everyone isn't on the BBW bandwagon.
Anonymous
11:36, I think you've got OP confused with someone who supports HAES, which is different.

Of course, HAES is embraced by quacks like the Surgeon General, who probably don't know as much about medicine and public health as you do. Why, she probably never even comes to DCUM.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All of this depends on your interpretation of overweight. For a mom who is 5'6" and 110, a "fat" child might be very different than for a mom who is 5'6" and 150. As parents, we need to be very careful not to put our own distorted perceptions on our children.

If you do have a child who is tending to be overweight, please make sure to talk to them about healthy weight, healthy body image and healthy choices. You should also stress that everyone's body is different and its often not fair that some of their friends can each whatever they want and still be super skinny, while staying thin might be more difficult for them. PLEASE ackowledge genetic difference and that various body types are beautiful - not just what they see in the magazines. If you can, point to celebs who are not traditionally skinny and how healthy self-confidence makes someone way more attractive than a size 0 dress. Thin should not be everyone's goal. I could starve myself and lose 50 lbs and I would still be very curvy - my butt is not going anywhere.


We can debate whether a woman who has several kids and could lose 20 pounds is curvy or overweight. But a kid is a kid. There's no need for kids to have excess fat on their bodies. The hormones that fat produces can screw up the growing process. It can also make it harder for the kid to be a healthy-weight adult.


This perception is exactly the problem. Some kids are just genetically built bigger than others and no amount of dieting or exercise is going to make them thin. Its called body type and there are more than 1 of them.


If the kid's doctor is happy with where the kid is, fine. But you and I both know that we have a childhood obesity problem in the US that is new. MOST of the kids who are now overweight wouldn't have been a generation ago. That's not type, that's behavior.
Anonymous
OP, do you not realize that our kids have a lower life expectancy than we do because of the obesity problem in this country? I'm all about self-esteem and different body sizes. There is a medical definition of overweight and obese. People's preferences in the looks department have nothing to do with that. FWIW, being too thin is also a medical problem that can lead to health problems. Many celebrities are actually too thin. I don't think anyone is saying they need their kids to have a BMI of 15 and be a supermodel. We just don't want our kids to be fat and unhealthy (emotionally and physically).

As an overweight teenager I really wish my parents would have helped me out. They would let me eat 3 bowls of ice cream after dinner and never said a thing. As a preteen this didn't affect my weight, but as I started to get older I really piled it on. I dealt with body image issues and food issues for a very long time. Most of my issues were self-imposed. I was never overweight enough to really be made fun of and my parents always told me I was pretty but I was a little outside the healthy weight range. I joined some fitness clubs in college (I probably couldn't even run 1/2 mile when I started) and got into great shape and felt really good about myself. I'm a much healthier person now.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:This perception is exactly the problem. Some kids are just genetically built bigger than others and no amount of dieting or exercise is going to make them thin. Its called body type and there are more than 1 of them.


You have GOT to be kidding. The laws of thermodynamics can't be escaped -- if kids eat more than they need or burn, they will be fat. If they eat the same, they will maintain weight. If they eat less, they will lose it.

The most unhealthy aspect of the obesity epidemic is this "woe-is-me" victimhood that fat people have, like you're born fat and there's nothing you can do about it. I was fat and lost the weight after I took responsibility for working out and eating less -- that was 10 years and 40 pounds ago.

It's an absolute lie that "no amount of dieting or exercise is going to make them thin" -- getting more exercise and eating less crap is EXACTLY what will make them thinner.
Anonymous
Nice...
"Here's a revelation for you, since I can tell you either have very young tots or babies, or no kids at all..."
WRONG! My oldest is 22. I have five kids. None of them are "very young tots". None of them are overweight. If anything, they could gain. They are a healthy weight because we modeled healthy eating habits and a healthy lifestyle.

You're not very smart.



That must be it. Your exemplary modeling The gene pool from the foreign country you are from must not have anything to do with it.

Even in food-scarce sub-Saharan countries, certain people just tend to be big. Tall, heavy-boned, and big. I'm most familiar with Cameroon but there are many others. In some countries, the population tends to have tiny feet and narrow shoulders and bird-like skeletons and nobody weighs more than 135, including the men. They have the coveted gift of genes. Also, for whatever reason, a lot (certainly not all) of Jewish women from any country are tiny. Not just <114 lbs, but very short with little size 6.5 shoes and petite hands.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This perception is exactly the problem. Some kids are just genetically built bigger than others and no amount of dieting or exercise is going to make them thin. Its called body type and there are more than 1 of them.


You have GOT to be kidding. The laws of thermodynamics can't be escaped -- if kids eat more than they need or burn, they will be fat. If they eat the same, they will maintain weight. If they eat less, they will lose it.

The most unhealthy aspect of the obesity epidemic is this "woe-is-me" victimhood that fat people have, like you're born fat and there's nothing you can do about it. I was fat and lost the weight after I took responsibility for working out and eating less -- that was 10 years and 40 pounds ago.

It's an absolute lie that "no amount of dieting or exercise is going to make them thin" -- getting more exercise and eating less crap is EXACTLY what will make them thinner.


Yes, ma'am.
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