High IQs

[Anonymous]

I'm a 150, and it's only been a bad thing when I blithely assume I'm the smartest person in the room and come off like a pompous ass. Definitely happens less now than it did in my 20s -- I finally learned that you can be +3 SDs above others and their experiences might still make them better at something. Funny how long humility can take to learn, even if you're "gifted"!

Otherwise, I love my life -- I have great, smart, funny friends, and a smart, caring DH that I love, and a career that fulfills me. I could use a little more money, but hey, nobody has a perfect life, huh?

[Anonymous]

I tested once at 132 and once at 156. Maybe not the same test? No idea, they were administered in different countries too.

Anyway, I consider myself slightly above average in intellectual and emotional intelligence, and am quite happy as a stay at home mom.

DH, on the other hand, is your typical high-IQ low-EQ scientist. Brilliant in his line of work, but has difficulty socializing. Not ambitious financially either, unfortunately - otherwise we'd be multi-millionaires by now.

Like 21:52, DH does sometimes get impatient with how slowly I process certain mathematical and logic concepts, but then I get impatient about how he misunderstands social cues. Thus we always agree that together, we make a great team!

[Anonymous]

I also get frustrated at times; it took me a long time to realize that being "gifted" didn't end in high school and my brain still works differently than many other people's. I try to be patient with DH (who is very smart, too, but doesn't get things as quickly or as clearly as I do when first exposed to them) but still gravitate toward other people like me. I generally love my life, but it's because I work on my own things: I wanted to shove a fork in my eye most days in regular jobs (legal, teaching, whatever).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also get frustrated at times; it took me a long time to realize that being "gifted" didn't end in high school and my brain still works differently than many other people's. I try to be patient with DH (who is very smart, too, but doesn't get things as quickly or as clearly as I do when first exposed to them) but still gravitate toward other people like me. I generally love my life, but it's because I work on my own things: I wanted to shove a fork in my eye most days in regular jobs (legal, teaching, whatever).

I should add that the giftedness is in logic areas (like someone mentioned above) and I am the third in a line of gifted math brains (father and grandfather). My social skills are great and my interests lie in nature and art and the like; my talents are in logic and problem-solving, though, and when the conversation veers in that direction it's fun for a while but it can be hard for me to let people talk their way to an end (or ends) that is so clear to me so early on.

[Anonymous]

In my life I have come across many people who have difficulty understanding/relating to others, lack patience or empathy, or simply seem awkward. A few of these people have had extremely high IQs; most have not. I'm no math prodigy but to me that doesn't seem to establish a meaningful correlation. There are so very many things that play into the type of person you become.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the pp in that there are so many things that play into it. I was tested really high (170+), but my parents made REALLY sure I got to socialize (played lots of sports) and had fun challenges to keep me "normal" - even to the likely detriment of my "smartness" (I have an advanced degree, but never wanted to go for multiple degrees in crazy focused fields like particle physics or anything). I'm definitely more introverted than the average person, but not by a whole lot since I make it a point to get out of my comfort zone on a regular basis.

I do get frustrated every once in a while that answers to issues don't seem obvious to everyone right away, but then I remind myself to take a deep breath and think what my mom would say about my attitude (a.k.a. - remind myself to not be an arrogant b!tch) and it all works out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also get frustrated at times; it took me a long time to realize that being "gifted" didn't end in high school and my brain still works differently than many other people's. I try to be patient with DH (who is very smart, too, but doesn't get things as quickly or as clearly as I do when first exposed to them) but still gravitate toward other people like me. I generally love my life, but it's because I work on my own things: I wanted to shove a fork in my eye most days in regular jobs (legal, teaching, whatever).

I should add that the giftedness is in logic areas (like someone mentioned above) and I am the third in a line of gifted math brains (father and grandfather). My social skills are great and my interests lie in nature and art and the like; my talents are in logic and problem-solving, though, and when the conversation veers in that direction it's fun for a while but it can be hard for me to let people talk their way to an end (or ends) that is so clear to me so early on.

Based on the second quote in bold, above, I somehow doubt that your social skills are as good as you think. You sound really full of yourself, and that usually shows in social settings.

[Anonymous]

I was tested as a child and was 160. I think I'm pretty quick, but normal. I think IQ stuff can be BS.

[Anonymous]

My 99%ile kid is an introverted bookworm with social skills difficulties and my 99.9%ile kid is extroverted and charismatIc, makes friends easily. So I think it really depends on the kid.

[Anonymous]

I think the key is learning to value other aspects of people generally. Testing high as a young girl just meant my parents were all the more interested in making sure that I could appreciate the beauty, strengths, and efforts of others. To my parents, "elitist" is a very dirty word.

I would say that I'm a bit quirky but lovable and a good friend to people. But I do have a high need for alone time. I read constantly. And, when I have the chance to talk with someone at depth about subjects of interest to me, I take them in with incredible thirst.

It can be lonely. I didn't marry a man who even remotely approximates my intellect. He is an amazing individual with rock-solid values. I adore him. But, he's nothing like the other boyfriends I had (who didn't have the wowza that DH has) who I could spend all night giggling about 19th-century literature with or the foibles of UN Security Council member states.

[Anonymous]

Sure. It has its own frustrations, including many already noted, but I assume every intelligence level has frustrations. My happiness has much more to do with my perspective.

Of the frustrations, I'd say the biggest is the discrimination. It definitely annoys many insecure people that I'm quicker than they are, and they don't hesitate to punish me for it. But again, I'm not saying "poor me."

[Anonymous]

Socially awkward.
Lack of patience.
Critical.

[Anonymous]

"But, he's nothing like the other boyfriends I had (who didn't have the wowza that DH has) who I could spend all night giggling about 19th-century literature with or the foibles of UN Security Council member states. "

Ditto.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure. It has its own frustrations, including many already noted, but I assume every intelligence level has frustrations. My happiness has much more to do with my perspective.

Of the frustrations, I'd say the biggest is the discrimination. It definitely annoys many insecure people that I'm quicker than they are, and they don't hesitate to punish me for it. But again, I'm not saying "poor me."

Yep. I'm the person above who was honest about it requiring patience to let people talk their way through to a conclusion, and that makes me "full of myself." Heh. This is why this topic rarely comes up in settings outside of anonymous bulletin boards and I use my GREAT social skills to keep conversations on topics that other people will enjoy (no eyes glazing over) and won't frustrate me.

[Anonymous]

I'm 129 and DH is 160. Most of the time it's not a problem - until it is. I think most of the time is that he remembers EVERYTHING. "Actually honey blah blah blah"

However, if you are comfortable with yourself (as I am) you can deal with the over intellectual person. However, he is "normal" and sexy and that's why I married him!