Graduation season is so tough

[Anonymous]

OP I know this is hard.

Your child is lucky to have you. They will succeed on their own timeline.

My brother and his college educated wife didn’t get my niece to graduation she’s a prostitute has been since she was 15. Lives with a 55 year old BF . Her parents failed her in every way possible.

You on the other hand were a parent that did everything for your kid.

[Anonymous]

Well this took a turn.

[Anonymous]

OP, why don't you and your family celebrate? Let DS pick a family trip, or event that he would like? It doesn't have to be a peer-centered event.

[Anonymous]

My child was supposed to graduate this year. Instead they got a GED last year. The combo of health issues and autistic burnout meant they weren’t able to be successful in a typical classroom anymore.

I am struggling seeing social media posts of all the kids they grew up with graduating. Congrats to your child, OP on pushing through and making it!

[Anonymous]

I hear you so loud and clear. My daughter graduated this year too, and it has been a long, painful road. She has ADHD and depression, and since middle school, our lives have been filled with a constant stream of emails, notes, behavior referrals, ISS, and suspensions. Academically, she barely made it across the finish line after pulling up her math grade at the very end of the 4th quarter. (I believe she didn't earned the D in the class, but it okay).

Even though she got a brief trip to the beach and a few parties, the reality behind the scenes was filled with so much struggle. It’s impossible not to feel like we failed as parents sometimes. But you know what? They graduated. It’s not the traditional celebration, but it is a victory nonetheless. I pray every day that things get better for her as she grows up. Cheers to our kids for making it through, and cheers to us for surviving it.

[Anonymous]

I hear you so loud and clear. My daughter graduated this year too, and it has been a long, painful road. She has ADHD (and medicated) and depression, and since middle school, our lives have been filled with a constant stream of emails, notes, behavior referrals, ISS, and suspensions. Academically, she barely made it across the finish line after pulling up her math grade at the very end of the 4th quarter. (I believe she didn't earned the D in the class, but it okay).

Even though she got a brief trip to the beach and a few parties, the reality behind the scenes was filled with so much struggle. It’s impossible not to feel like we failed as parents sometimes. But you know what? They graduated. It’s not the traditional celebration, but it is a victory nonetheless. I pray every day that things get better for her as she grows up. Cheers to our kids for making it through, and cheers to us for surviving it.

[Anonymous]

OP-thank you for posting. I'm in the same situation and have been crying a lot this week. Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone.

[Anonymous]

That is difficult, and there are no guarantees, but I want to add to the stories of change: My son had literally zero peer social interactions outside of school and structured activities between late elementary and early high school. But in the last few years of high school, he's been actually socializing on a semi-regular basis. Not often, and he still refuses to refer to call anyone a "friend," and he often says he didn't enjoy it, but still, progress! It's possible.

[Anonymous]

Hugs, OP. You are not alone. Please know that where you stand today is not forever. College is a blank slate.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry. This is still a huge accomplishment for you and him - graduating HS with his challenges and going on to college! What does he like to do? Can you find ways to celebrate with him that are his speed and don't involve socialization - can you go on a trip with him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you. It's so tough. My AuDHD kid graduated last year. With no friends, no invites, etc. But this year, as a freshman in college, he has flourished socially. There are so many more things to do, so many more types of people. So hang in there and have hope.

Can you share where he went to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess it’s all in how you look at it. Lots of people here have kids who weren’t on the regular diploma track at all and won’t be going to college. Comparison is the thief of joy.

+1

But also I feel for you and wish you and your family well. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Feeling this so hard. I want to be happy but my heart hurts.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you've done everything you can. At this point you have to let him figure things out. My sister really struggled in high school and had to graduate from Langston the special program. She eventually completed college after some on and off community college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in a lot of pain right now. My DS has just graduated from high school. He has ADHD and other social skills issues and had a very tough time of school both socially and academically. He did not have any friends other than a few acquaintances. It is so tough participating in graduation filled with hundreds of smiling kids hugging their friends, seeing all the grad parties, seeing pictures of the groups of friends doing their college reveals and hearing about beach week from my own neighbors/friends when my kid is not doing any of that. I feel like I failed him and that his childhood was just filled with pain and struggle. DS is going on to college but his struggles will likely follow him. I just feel so down and am having trouble having conversations with people when they are well meaning and saying "congratulations to [DS]" and "what an exciting time." Because it is actually a terrible time right now. It blows.

What does dad think?