Daughter struggling with intense loneliness and hopelessness - what helps?

[Anonymous]

Take her to church. She'll burst into tears because the peace that washes over her will feel so good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is struggling with situational depression. She’s very sad and sometimes has passive suicidal thoughts, and the reason feels “small,” which makes her feel guilty for feeling this way. She’s had many real losses in life already and has done grief support groups, so she keeps comparing herself to people going through objectively devastating things and feels ashamed that she’s this depressed over being single and wanting a partner so badly. She also feels guilty because she knows there are people grieving loved ones who desperately wanted to live, while she sometimes feels the opposite.

She’s still functioning and not in immediate danger, and says she would never do anything, but I’m still worried because she feels very hopeless and lonely underneath it all.

This doesn’t really feel like a meds situation so much as a loneliness/situational issue. I’d really appreciate any books, podcasts, support groups, online & in person resources, etc. that helped you or someone you know with loneliness, hopelessness around relationships, or situational depression.

Sure. This is not uncommon.

What she needs to do is to give herself a list of to-dos and a new routine to make herself healthy, fit, skilled, interesting, good dresser etc.

- Begin with joining a gym and do exercises for flexibility and building muscles. Start walking.
- Change her diet so that it is full of good quality protein, while grain carbs, organic fruits and veggies, probiotics, seeds and nuts, healthy fats. No processed or junk food. Stop all added sugar and caffeine.
- Stop drinking, vaping, drugs
- Fix her sleep cycle
- Eat a lot of fiber and drink lots of alkaline water. .
- Make her skin, hair, scalp healthy.
- Get her teeth fixed. Get her eyes checked.
- Do yoga and breathing exercises.

- Build adulting skills. Start with learning how to cook proper meals.
- Learn to take care of laundry, cleaning your home and car, having a routine
- Learn how to host.

- Improve your resume, linkedIn profile, interview skills. Gain some new professional certifications etc. Apply for jobs, opportunities.

- She should also start organizing meet-ups tied with some activity.
- She should get in touch with friends, school mates, work friends etc to do something that people will like to do...a new movie together, a hike together, a new museum opening, concert etc.

- Once her skin is clear, hair is health, teeth and eyes are looking great, house is clean, career is on track, she has a ton of friends through meetups - she should get a makeover.

- Once she is looking good, dresses well, is fit, her life is on track, she has adulting and career skills, had interesting activities and hobbies, has a busy life - MEN WILL FLOCK TO HER LIKE FLIES TO MOLASSES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t want to attend therapy or take meds. She is trying to explore more hobbies and spends time outdoors. -OP

Is she at home or living on her own? If she is at home, I would not hesitate to make getting on meds or seeing a therapist as a requirement for living at home. I would frame it as a short term solution (with getting outdoors and hobbies as the longterm solution). She is not committing to years of therapy or years of drugs. It's just a bridge to get her over the hump.

She’s a rising college sophomore home for the summer. She’s not in any imminent danger, which is part of why she’s not interested in therapy or meds. She wants things to be different, and doesn’t think it will help. OP

You want her to get better before she goes back to school and you don't have eyes on her. I would try Harder to set her up with meds and therapy. Most PCPs will prescribe antidepressants. Frame it as try these things for the summer, you can stop if you want later when you're not depressed. As her parent, do the work of finding a therapist and scheduling an appointment for meds.

She's really not thinking clearly to a) be obsessed with finding a partner at 19 and b) not trying therapy and meds which are the main treatment for depression.

[Anonymous]

OP. - I say this from experience with our oldest daughter that your DD is depressed and doing what she may be doing is fine, but as a baseline she should have a mental health screening that could start with her adult PCP.
Pressures will only grow on her return to junior year when talk will be about what others are doing to get a job, grad or professional school.
Medication and therapy may will be only for a time as she sorts things out. Summer is the perfect time to get her started on a medication. A good therapist with option to be virtual could also start and counsel her when she goes back to school. Our daughter also did/ does need active exercise daily too.