Talking about 2nd marriage. I make $120k, he makes $5M.

[Anonymous]

Didn’t you already ask this question?

[Anonymous]

*his ex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ahh. It sucks that if you marry you’ll have to be a stepmom. Not worth it.

+1

You’ll feel unloved and unappreciated. It’s my biggest regret in life, and I can’t leave. My husband’s four kids are out of control, but I did get two beautiful girls out of it.

Being a stepmother to a teenager is different than for young kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, if you combine finances your tax rate will go up. Your kids also won't qualify for financial aid if you're married to someone so wealthy. In which case, is he willing to help pay their tuition? Is he willing to pay to bring them on luxurious vacations, etc., and essentially give them access to all the same things his own kids have access to? If not, it will be a bad experience for your kids to be in that environment and see the disparity between what their step siblings have and what they have.

Yes, make sure you plan ahead for college. Colleges will take his income into consideration when they determine financial aid, so they'd be full-pay. Is he willing to pay $100K/year (plus inflation) for each child's college education?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We both have young kids. Won't have anymore.

Two convos we havent had-
1. Pre-nup. I was fully expecting him to bring it up but he hasn't. Should I bring it up?

2. If we combine finances, I'll be taxed into oblivion, right? I grew up poor so it's a scary thought to not have enough take home pay of my own. This also brings me back to point #1 that I want to be protected.

How would you handle this?

Yes. You need to be able to have difficult conversations *before* getting married.

I don't necessarily agree with all the anti-second marriage posters here, BUT I do think it's critical to be able to have hard conversations and come to decisions both people feel good about. If you can't do that, if he refuses or wants to just 'go with the flow', then I would re-consider the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t you already ask this question?

Yeah last week she did. Or troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ahh. It sucks that if you marry you’ll have to be a stepmom. Not worth it.

+1

You’ll feel unloved and unappreciated. It’s my biggest regret in life, and I can’t leave. My husband’s four kids are out of control, but I did get two beautiful girls out of it.

Being a stepmother to a teenager is different than for young kids

Agree

Only seen it work well when the dad had 10% custody or dinners once in awhile.

Plus once 16 and driving the kid decides where to go.

[Anonymous]

Blended family. No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We both have young kids. Won't have anymore.

Two convos we havent had-
1. Pre-nup. I was fully expecting him to bring it up but he hasn't. Should I bring it up?

2. If we combine finances, I'll be taxed into oblivion, right? I grew up poor so it's a scary thought to not have enough take home pay of my own. This also brings me back to point #1 that I want to be protected.

How would you handle this?

Sounds like you are not engaged yet.

This haven’t talked about how to handle each others kids or finances.

[Anonymous]

Why is he divorced if he earned 5 million a year?

This is a big red flag.

Most women want to divorce A Man earning that much.

[Anonymous]

Would not divorce

[Anonymous]

Sounds like they haven’t had many serious or real conversations at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Blended family. No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is he divorced if he earned 5 million a year?

This is a big red flag.

Most women want to divorce A Man earning that much.

No kids (and spouse)get support to maintain same lifestyle as before - private school, clothing, grooming, trips.
At over $1M it’s off the child support calculator and into quality of life negotiations to maintain same level despite two households.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We both have young kids. Won't have anymore.

Two convos we havent had-
1. Pre-nup. I was fully expecting him to bring it up but he hasn't. Should I bring it up?

2. If we combine finances, I'll be taxed into oblivion, right? I grew up poor so it's a scary thought to not have enough take home pay of my own. This also brings me back to point #1 that I want to be protected.

How would you handle this?

Sorry, what do you think you need to be protected about? Didn’t you write in on this a couple weeks ago?

If you want to appear poor for college financial aid purposes don’t marry him formally.

KaChing!