Talking about 2nd marriage. I make $120k, he makes $5M.

[Anonymous]

We both have young kids. Won't have anymore.

Two convos we havent had-
1. Pre-nup. I was fully expecting him to bring it up but he hasn't. Should I bring it up?

2. If we combine finances, I'll be taxed into oblivion, right? I grew up poor so it's a scary thought to not have enough take home pay of my own. This also brings me back to point #1 that I want to be protected.

How would you handle this?

[Anonymous]

Why would you bring up a pre mup

[Anonymous]

Girl yes.

[Anonymous]

Why marry?

Really. Why tie yourself to a man again? Also, if you have young kids, bringing a man into their home life with you is super messed up and they will hate it, no matter how much you’re convinced they love him. Wait until they’re 18. Your relationship with your man will do better anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why marry?

Really. Why tie yourself to a man again? Also, if you have young kids, bringing a man into their home life with you is super messed up and they will hate it, no matter how much you’re convinced they love him. Wait until they’re 18. Your relationship with your man will do better anyway.

I very much agree with this as a product of divorce but if they are already engaged it’s probably too late

[Anonymous]

Ahh. It sucks that if you marry you’ll have to be a stepmom. Not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Stay engaged until all your kids are 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ahh. It sucks that if you marry you’ll have to be a stepmom. Not worth it.

+1

You’ll feel unloved and unappreciated. It’s my biggest regret in life, and I can’t leave. My husband’s four kids are out of control, but I did get two beautiful girls out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stay engaged until all your kids are 18.

+1. This is the only answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We both have young kids. Won't have anymore.

Two convos we havent had-
1. Pre-nup. I was fully expecting him to bring it up but he hasn't. Should I bring it up?

2. If we combine finances, I'll be taxed into oblivion, right? I grew up poor so it's a scary thought to not have enough take home pay of my own. This also brings me back to point #1 that I want to be protected.

How would you handle this?

Weird

What’s your custody and child support and ex situation?

$5M ordinary income a year is a really dumb way to get paid. Can’t he fix that if he’s so senior?

Nothing to discuss if you don’t commingle things even when married. Future income will be split 50/50.

Not clear why you’re upset about taxes when someone supposedly makes 40x what you make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We both have young kids. Won't have anymore.

Two convos we havent had-
1. Pre-nup. I was fully expecting him to bring it up but he hasn't. Should I bring it up?

2. If we combine finances, I'll be taxed into oblivion, right? I grew up poor so it's a scary thought to not have enough take home pay of my own. This also brings me back to point #1 that I want to be protected.

How would you handle this?

Sorry, what do you think you need to be protected about? Didn’t you write in on this a couple weeks ago?

If you want to appear poor for college financial aid purposes don’t marry him formally.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do this. Being a stepmother is fraught and never goes very well. And I say that as a person with a very nice stepmother.

You need to protect your kids from being dumped and disinherited if you die. There's NOTHING requiring him to care for them or pay for them if you die. He would get all your assets with no obligation whatsoever to them. Don't think he's a good person so it'll be fine-- it won't be fine, because people find ways to rationalize and justify the choices that make their life easier. You need a prenup that places your assets in a trust that is managed by a family member on your side of the family. Otherwise they are massively at risk.

[Anonymous]

Blended family, yuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We both have young kids. Won't have anymore.

Two convos we havent had-
1. Pre-nup. I was fully expecting him to bring it up but he hasn't. Should I bring it up?

2. If we combine finances, I'll be taxed into oblivion, right? I grew up poor so it's a scary thought to not have enough take home pay of my own. This also brings me back to point #1 that I want to be protected.

How would you handle this?

Weird

What’s your custody and child support and ex situation?

$5M ordinary income a year is a really dumb way to get paid. Can’t he fix that if he’s so senior?

Nothing to discuss if you don’t commingle things even when married. Future income will be split 50/50.

Not clear why you’re upset about taxes when someone supposedly makes 40x what you make.

Sounds like he’s divorced w kids too so his money could be going to her and his 50/50 custody kids.

Good times.

[Anonymous]

Yes, if you combine finances your tax rate will go up. Your kids also won't qualify for financial aid if you're married to someone so wealthy. In which case, is he willing to help pay their tuition? Is he willing to pay to bring them on luxurious vacations, etc., and essentially give them access to all the same things his own kids have access to? If not, it will be a bad experience for your kids to be in that environment and see the disparity between what their step siblings have and what they have.