My boss hates me

[Anonymous]

Just like all the others have said, there’s probably no way you can win here. I had a very similar boss, who acted like I was wonderful for the first five months after she hired me and then did a complete 180 for no discernible reason. Nine months into the job, she fired me.

I had been looking and was able to get a new job within a couple months, literally just before the pandemic. The organization where I had worked laid off people then, so it turned out. I was lucky that I had already been trying to find a new job.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I had a boss like this and she made my life miserable. I was able to stay for a couple of years and somehow she still managed to kill my career with slander. Try to find a new position ASAP

[Anonymous]

I had a boss like this, and it took a year plus to get over the damage to my self-esteem. Remind yourself of the things you're good at, and prioritize getting away.

[Anonymous]

I’m betting she wants to promote one of her favorites into your role and she’s livid that you’re in the way. She wants her own chosen team and you’re not going to be on it. The longer you’re there holding her up the worse it will be. Get out asap before she starts a PIP and makes up shit about you so she can fire you.

[Anonymous]

I worked with someone who was at a sightly lower position than me, who outwardly appeared to be my BFF but behind my back was trash taking me, especially when I received a competitive industry award and a separate coveted Board position. I cut back my hours to deal with a critically ill spouse who eventually died fairly suddenly and she was promoted. I was just told, by her today, that I am being terminated. Flimsy reasoning; wants me to tell my long term clients that I am retiring; I am only 50, as to not upset these clients who frequently tell me how much they appreciate me, and have the company look bad. Really struggling tonight after 15 years with what I thought was a successful career and still trying to process my spouses death, support my kids and now have to find a new job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a senior position in my organization and my boss seems to absolutely hate me. I have no idea why. I work hard, I volunteer to do extra things, I participate, I feel like I'm a good team player. She is toxic and petty and she plays favorites. She will laugh and smile with other people and be cold and aloof with me. She nitpicks everything I do and seems to always be keeping score. I feel infantilized and underappreciated. I just really need to get out but I also need a way to live with her until I do. Any suggestions?

I don't know why some women feel the need to be so toxic and awful to other women.

The most important thing for you is to look for another job. Toxic managers do not just screw up professional life but they also affect personal life. You will always carry the emotions back home. Get another job or get another boss in the same company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked with someone who was at a sightly lower position than me, who outwardly appeared to be my BFF but behind my back was trash taking me, especially when I received a competitive industry award and a separate coveted Board position. I cut back my hours to deal with a critically ill spouse who eventually died fairly suddenly and she was promoted. I was just told, by her today, that I am being terminated. Flimsy reasoning; wants me to tell my long term clients that I am retiring; I am only 50, as to not upset these clients who frequently tell me how much they appreciate me, and have the company look bad. Really struggling tonight after 15 years with what I thought was a successful career and still trying to process my spouses death, support my kids and now have to find a new job.

I'm sorry for your loss. Sounds like a very toxic environment and will probably be better for your mental health in the long run, although finding a comparable job at your job may not be that easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked with someone who was at a sightly lower position than me, who outwardly appeared to be my BFF but behind my back was trash taking me, especially when I received a competitive industry award and a separate coveted Board position. I cut back my hours to deal with a critically ill spouse who eventually died fairly suddenly and she was promoted. I was just told, by her today, that I am being terminated. Flimsy reasoning; wants me to tell my long term clients that I am retiring; I am only 50, as to not upset these clients who frequently tell me how much they appreciate me, and have the company look bad. Really struggling tonight after 15 years with what I thought was a successful career and still trying to process my spouses death, support my kids and now have to find a new job.

I'm sorry for your loss. Sounds like a very toxic environment and will probably be better for your mental health in the long run, although finding a comparable job at your job may not be that easy.

I am nearly this posters age and I’ve never had so much reach out in my life as recently. Don’t be discouraged pp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve come across very few people like that and I think the thing to do is just get away.

If your list of toxic people is long, maybe it’s you. But if it’s short, just get away.

These people have increased because of online behavior and politics. That said often all these people who behave this way stick together and people who are different than this stick together so I'd find something else as soon as you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked with someone who was at a sightly lower position than me, who outwardly appeared to be my BFF but behind my back was trash taking me, especially when I received a competitive industry award and a separate coveted Board position. I cut back my hours to deal with a critically ill spouse who eventually died fairly suddenly and she was promoted. I was just told, by her today, that I am being terminated. Flimsy reasoning; wants me to tell my long term clients that I am retiring; I am only 50, as to not upset these clients who frequently tell me how much they appreciate me, and have the company look bad. Really struggling tonight after 15 years with what I thought was a successful career and still trying to process my spouses death, support my kids and now have to find a new job.

A lot of people try to kick others when they are down. I'm so sorry. I wish there were more offices where this type of mean girl gossip behavior led to their termination.

[Anonymous]

Well one of my first we had this black woman in dept. she was brutally hard in black woman, literally she tear them apart to get them to quit or be fired.

It turns out my company was an early pioneer in D&I and she wanted VP then SVP etc. my boss a white women who actually was vicious other white woman had to promote a black woman, so she wanted to be only black women, as a white male I found whole thing interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m betting she wants to promote one of her favorites into your role and she’s livid that you’re in the way. She wants her own chosen team and you’re not going to be on it. The longer you’re there holding her up the worse it will be. Get out asap before she starts a PIP and makes up shit about you so she can fire you.

This happened to me. Toxic narcissists dont care how they hurt others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a senior position in my organization and my boss seems to absolutely hate me. I have no idea why. I work hard, I volunteer to do extra things, I participate, I feel like I'm a good team player. She is toxic and petty and she plays favorites. She will laugh and smile with other people and be cold and aloof with me. She nitpicks everything I do and seems to always be keeping score. I feel infantilized and underappreciated. I just really need to get out but I also need a way to live with her until I do. Any suggestions?

I don't know why some women feel the need to be so toxic and awful to other women.

I just left a job like this!!! DH pointed out correctly, by the end of a long project, and where like 7 people had left and boss needed to re-fill those positions, and after I stuck through it and proved myself.... I felt like the cream of the crop.

DH also pointed out, by this time boss had run out of people to pick on. I was next.

I left for a higher paying job; she started talking about raises, but I didn't go there in the conversation because I would rather not work there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been in a similar situation. Get the hell out of there. Start looking for another job ASAP. Life is too short for that BS.

This. Btdt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a senior position in my organization and my boss seems to absolutely hate me. I have no idea why. I work hard, I volunteer to do extra things, I participate, I feel like I'm a good team player. She is toxic and petty and she plays favorites. She will laugh and smile with other people and be cold and aloof with me. She nitpicks everything I do and seems to always be keeping score. I feel infantilized and underappreciated. I just really need to get out but I also need a way to live with her until I do. Any suggestions?

I don't know why some women feel the need to be so toxic and awful to other women.

Maybe it's not about gender. Maybe she dislikes you for some other invalid reason